no food at evening reception?

ska_lover

Idiophreak wrote: »

You're a bit confused about how much things cost IMHO. You've described our wedding more or less exactly - but we spent orders of magnitude more than a lot of people on these forums do.

What's more important to you? Having an informal "good old knees up", or being cheap?

Just from your description, you've got a marquee, so that's a good thousand pounds straight off the bat. Need some land or a venue for it? Add another grand or two.
Do you need toilets, a generator, lighting, dancefloor, furtniture etc for the thing? Maybe another grand.
Hog roast? £10/head for 100 people...another thousand.
Live music? Let's start from £1000
The drink's going to be flowing? OK, well I guess half a bottle each, fiver a bottle means you'd only need to spend £250 on booze. Oh, plus hiring a bar of course... (we allowed a whole bottle each, FWIW - really wanted the booze flowing)

So, that's between, say 3.5 and 7k spent already...You just need to add on dresses, suits, insurance, flowers, church fees, gifts, car, honeymoon, etc etc and you're done. How are you doing on your "cheap" wedding now?

So, we did your "great" wedding, but it was in *no way* cheap. Does that make us unromantic? Our wedding would have been *much* cheaper had we done a package deal at a venue for the usual 3 course meal and evening buffet. Would that have been more romantic?

Linking price and romanticism is just plain wrong imho. People should do exactly what they want to on their day...if that costs them £100 or £100k it doesn't really matter.

What is important to me, is being happy with my husband, not impressing people.

I could most definately do this kind of wedding on a cheaper budget, but there is no way I would be inviting anywhere near 100 people - only the people I truly care about, so I guess that would cut costs a lot. Romance is different for everyone though.

ska_lover

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree everyone should do what they want for their own day.

I think the problem comes when it becomes some sort of competition. I must have the best dress, nicest venue etc etc.

Also a great many couples who do spend a lot of money are broke for some time after - yes it is their choice, but is that really the best way to start off married life - in debt?

Exactly. I have an old school friend who is getting married next year. Now her and her fiancee live in a studio apartment - one room and no space to swing a cat. They have stumped up over £25k for a wedding, yet when the big day is over, they have to go on living in a one room place. My friend was always one of those little girls who dreamed of getting married, but I was never like that in the sense of practicalities. I'd rather have a far cheaper wedding, and put the rest towards a house deposit.

BugglyB

I do feel theres a lot of judgement against people who decide to spend a lot of money on their wedding. I do think its daft to spend £20k or £30k on a wedding, but really some people spend a huge amount of money on much dafter things.

I went to a friends wedding last year that was very expensive, very posh, some people spent all day sniding and sniping about how much it must have cost which I found rude and unecessary.

There is no superiority in doing things cheaply and there is no shame in spending a fortune, its just horses for courses.

Phrases such as 'whats important to me is being happy in my marriage, not spending loads of money' are not helpful - those two things are not diametrically opposed.

Idiophreak

ska_lover wrote: »

What is important to me, is being happy with my husband, not impressing people.

Who said anything about impressing people?

My point was just, sometimes, it costs a lot of money to do the things that you want...not to impress people, not to be flash, but just so you and your OH can have the wedding day you want. For you.

For you to view them as "unromantic" for spending money on their day is a bit harsh, I reckon. I just don't see what money has to do with it, at all.

ska_lover

Idiophreak wrote: »

Who said anything about impressing people?

My point was just, sometimes, it costs a lot of money to do the things that you want...not to impress people, not to be flash, but just so you and your OH can have the wedding day you want. For you.

For you to view them as "unromantic" for spending money on their day is a bit harsh, I reckon. I just don't see what money has to do with it, at all.

Because if you truly want to be married, and that is all there is that actually counts, getting wed to the person you want to spend your life with - not some big showy party/getting into debt. You can do it for £50 at a Registry office if you want.

White_Sapphire

ska_lover wrote: »

Because if you truly want to be married, and that is all there is that actually counts, getting wed to the person you want to spend your life with - not some big showy party/getting into debt. You can do it for £50 at a Registry office if you want.

Really? Anyone who spends more than £50 (actually, once you've taken into account giving notice etc it's more like £110 - £120, but that's besides the point) on getting married is only doing so to show off?

Hmmm. OK, so my H2B and I are paying for our family and friends to witness our marriage, to feed them (the cheapest meal option), and to put on a party so that they can celebrate one of the most momentous days of our lives, just in order to show off? :rotfl: Yes, because it has nothing to do with wanting the people who care about us and who have supported us, both individually and in our relationship, to share our day and to thank them for all their support....

By the way, we are not getting into a scrap of debt for our wedding, and anything that we see as extraneous to a wedding we are not having. So no £2k dress, no £5k castle venue, no harpist, no £500 cake, no traditional wedding cars, no canapes.....

Also by the way, my sister is having the registry office with two witnesses wedding. Because it is right for her and her fiance, and that is what they want.

By your logic, no-one should ever have a party or celebration of any kind, because all they are are opportunities for the hosts to show off. Riiiiight....... :rotfl:

74jax

White_Sapphire wrote: »

Really? Anyone who spends more than £50 (actually, once you've taken into account giving notice etc it's more like £110 - £120, but that's besides the point) on getting married is only doing so to show off?

Hmmm. OK, so my H2B and I are paying for our family and friends to witness our marriage, to feed them (the cheapest meal option), and to put on a party so that they can celebrate one of the most momentous days of our lives, just in order to show off? :rotfl: Yes, because it has nothing to do with wanting the people who care about us and who have supported us, both individually and in our relationship, to share our day and to thank them for all their support....

By the way, we are not getting into a scrap of debt for our wedding, and anything that we see as extraneous to a wedding we are not having. So no £2k dress, no £5k castle venue, no harpist, no £500 cake, no traditional wedding cars, no canapes.....

Also by the way, my sister is having the registry office with two witnesses wedding. Because it is right for her and her fiance, and that is what they want.

By your logic, no-one should ever have a party or celebration of any kind, because all they are are opportunities for the hosts to show off. Riiiiight....... :rotfl:

Fab post, I can't really think of anything else to add :j:T:j

MaggieBaking

ska_lover wrote: »

Because if you truly want to be married, and that is all there is that actually counts, getting wed to the person you want to spend your life with - not some big showy party/getting into debt. You can do it for £50 at a Registry office if you want.

£250-£350 in registrar fees in a lot of places, that's not including venue hire.

JBD

MaggieBaking wrote: »

£250-£350 in registrar fees in a lot of places, that's not including venue hire.

I think you can do it in the actual registar's office for £50, so you don't have to hire a venue. You can only have 2 witnesses, no guests though.

kacy1988

JBD wrote: »

I think you can do it in the actual registar's office for £50, so you don't have to hire a venue. You can only have 2 witnesses, no guests though.

our registry office is costing £230. full stop. whether we have us & 2 witnesses or fill the room!! :eek: