no food at evening reception?

LEJC

...AND ACTUALLY...that bacon or beef roll can cost the bride and groom in the region of £8.95 at a hotel evening do...so whilst you may not think its a lot in terms of food and may feel a little dissapointed by the "spread"...when you x that by at least 100 guests...its probably more than the whole wedding cost in the 60's!

Mayflower10cat

I'd have hoped for some nibbles, crisps, olives and nuts I must admit. Though the amount of buffets we've been invited to where there wasn't anything provided for non-meat eaters, (or if there was it was consumed by other guests) and we've ended up eating the garnish! These days we eat before hand. Better safe than starving!!!

LEJC

losingpatience wrote: »

As someone else said evening guests still do ( generally ) have to pay for things like a new outfit, travel to the reception, a card and possibly a gift so in my eyes the least I could do was provide them with some food

....and maybe a drink for your grandad and a few of your mums friends too...!

Sorry...its perhaps very rude of me to draw your other thread into this one...but I just want to highlight that everyone has different opinions and views when it comes to whats acceptable or not and its incredibly diifficult to please everyone and it really is about striking that balance both in terms of cost and what you offer...surely its about having a wonderful day with your guests rather than being critical of the food or lack of it.

In the case of the OP I feel sorry that they didnt get what they wanted at the evening reception but then again if it was a verbal invite only a few days before and without much structure to it then what more should she have expected...

ska_lover

I don't agree that it is poor form. Each to their own on their own wedding day.

I think there is nothing more romantic than having a cheaply done simple wedding, it shows that you are doing it for love, not the romanticised idea of a wedding day and do not need the fakeness and frills. Even if I were a lottery winner I wouldn't bow to what appears to be current convention of stuffy sit down meals etc.

My idea of a great wedding would be a marquee and a hog roast (with some veggie food for our veggie friends/family). A good old knees up with some live music and drinks flowing. Anyone who didn't like what I had planned to do could bloody well not bother attending.

I think some happy couples spend far to much time and effort trying to please everyone only to fail miserably so why try. Really it is their day and people should butt out, either share it with them, or don't. No-one is forcing people to attend then grumble about how much their bus fare cost to get their, or present cost.

Op - how sad you feel the need to be slagging off your friends 'big day' on a forum with strangers.

Torry_Quine

I would be very surprised not to have some type of food at the evening reception unless told previously. This is not a recent thing as some seem to suggest either. Normally it begins about 7.30 and food is served about 10pm while the band/DJ has a break.

adouglasmhor

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Not quite the same I know but it reminds me of a birthday party one of my children were invited to.

Party was at 6.00pm I assumed there would be party food so did not give my child any tea.

When I got there there was one bowl of sweets on the table and the host said that as it was tea time she had assumed all the children had been given their tea so there was no need for any party food.

Would have been nice to have known beforehand.

Yes I have friends from Edinburgh too.

Idiophreak

ska_lover wrote: »

I think there is nothing more romantic than having a cheaply done simple wedding, it shows that you are doing it for love, not the romanticised idea of a wedding day and do not need the fakeness and frills. Even if I were a lottery winner I wouldn't bow to what appears to be current convention of stuffy sit down meals etc.

My idea of a great wedding would be a marquee and a hog roast (with some veggie food for our veggie friends/family). A good old knees up with some live music and drinks flowing. Anyone who didn't like what I had planned to do could bloody well not bother attending.

You're a bit confused about how much things cost IMHO. You've described our wedding more or less exactly - but we spent orders of magnitude more than a lot of people on these forums do.

What's more important to you? Having an informal "good old knees up", or being cheap?

Just from your description, you've got a marquee, so that's a good thousand pounds straight off the bat. Need some land or a venue for it? Add another grand or two.
Do you need toilets, a generator, lighting, dancefloor, furtniture etc for the thing? Maybe another grand.
Hog roast? £10/head for 100 people...another thousand.
Live music? Let's start from £1000
The drink's going to be flowing? OK, well I guess half a bottle each, fiver a bottle means you'd only need to spend £250 on booze. Oh, plus hiring a bar of course... (we allowed a whole bottle each, FWIW - really wanted the booze flowing)

So, that's between, say 3.5 and 7k spent already...You just need to add on dresses, suits, insurance, flowers, church fees, gifts, car, honeymoon, etc etc and you're done. How are you doing on your "cheap" wedding now?

So, we did your "great" wedding, but it was in *no way* cheap. Does that make us unromantic? Our wedding would have been *much* cheaper had we done a package deal at a venue for the usual 3 course meal and evening buffet. Would that have been more romantic?

Linking price and romanticism is just plain wrong imho. People should do exactly what they want to on their day...if that costs them £100 or £100k it doesn't really matter.

burnoutbabe

ska_lover wrote: »

I think there is nothing more romantic than having a cheaply done simple wedding, it shows that you are doing it for love, not the romanticised idea of a wedding day and do not need the fakeness and frills. Even if I were a lottery winner I wouldn't bow to what appears to be current convention of stuffy sit down meals etc.


Op - how sad you feel the need to be slagging off your friends 'big day' on a forum with strangers.

it was held at an expensive restaurant so not exactly a simple cheaply done day.

Don't think i slagged off their day, I was just surprised that there was no food/snacks for any of the other 30 evening guests, nor the other 60+ day guests.

as i said, we were invited months beforehand, just we didn't get final details until we asked (via another friend) a few days before. Assume all work people got the same thing (ie a general verbal invite).

pointing all how guests can feel disappointed is helpful to other brides who may not have considered the issue.

POPPYOSCAR

I agree everyone should do what they want for their own day.

I think the problem comes when it becomes some sort of competition. I must have the best dress, nicest venue etc etc.

Also a great many couples who do spend a lot of money are broke for some time after - yes it is their choice, but is that really the best way to start off married life - in debt?

LalaGomay

Most of the people I know are already in thousands of pounds worth of debt, from attending uni. So while I certainly agree you shouldn't add a load more on top by having a wedding you can't afford, I'd say most/many newlyweds start their married lives in debt with or without the wedding being the cause!