no food at evening reception?

Idiophreak

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Also a great many couples who do spend a lot of money are broke for some time after - yes it is their choice, but is that really the best way to start off married life - in debt?

I read this a lot...and I just don't understand it...What happens when you're in debt that's so bad? Are you prodded with red hot pokers?

Starting off married life in debt is much the same as starting off married life without debt would be, I imagine - only with less money to spend each month. (although, in reality, plenty of newly married couples would start saving for children / a house / whatever else pretty much straight away anyway...)

My wife and I had a bunch of debt from uni. So we paid that off. Then we had a bunch of debt from buying a house together. So we paid that off. Now we've a bit of debt from the wedding...guess what we're going to do...I don't really feel we're starting off married life in any kind of bad way...

LEJC

losingpatience wrote: »

I'm not really sure what kind of point your trying to make here? I think it's quite harsh if your having a dig at me for not providing everyones drink of choice when I'm providing wine for everyone.

I said in one of my earlier posts on here that whilst yes I would be surprised if there was no food if I were invited to an evening reception I certainly wouldn't complain about it. I was merely offering my opinion that in my eyes food for an evening buffet was something I budgeted for, and thought others did too.

Certainly not having a dig at you in any way shape or form....in fact you say very well exactly the point I was trying to make ...that being everyones preception of what is expected is different...
and I posted a reply to your other thread earlier this afternoon which in my opinion certainly doesnt "dig" at you over the choices you have made for your wedding..

You quite rightly in my opinion are providing a lovely mix of drinks and what you want at your wedding but I understand from your other thread that this choice conflicts slightly with what your mother "possibly" expects and could conflict with what your Grandfather would choose as his drink of choice....

The same could be said for the bride in the case that the OP has described...she has provided for her guests a piece of cake...it may not be the food of choice but she has provided something and she may well feel that cake is all thats required...but we now know that at least one guest at the wedding was dissapointed by the offering...which the bride in this case will have budgeted for too...The fact that the OP says its was held at an expensive establishment may indicate that they may have been charged a high price to serve a piece of cake to their guests...in the same way that corkage is a killer too!

Therfore back to my point to the OP of please dont assume that the wedding couple must provide anything by way of food....surely you are there first and foremost to wish them luck in their future together rather than to compare the plate of food you receive with your expectation...
Every wedding is special...and every one is different...yours will be wonderful...so please dont see it that I was having a dig it was not my intention to

LalaGomay

Very good point, Idiophreak!

Torry_Quine

Idiophreak wrote: »

I read this a lot...and I just don't understand it...What happens when you're in debt that's so bad? Are you prodded with red hot pokers?

Starting off married life in debt is much the same as starting off married life without debt would be, I imagine - only with less money to spend each month. (although, in reality, plenty of newly married couples would start saving for children / a house / whatever else pretty much straight away anyway...)

My wife and I had a bunch of debt from uni. So we paid that off. Then we had a bunch of debt from buying a house together. So we paid that off. Now we've a bit of debt from the wedding...guess what we're going to do...I don't really feel we're starting off married life in any kind of bad way...

I for think that you shouldn't be getting into debt for things like a wedding or furnishing a home. Credit more correctly debt should be at the absolute minimum and not seen as normal

LalaGomay

But if a person is responsible and has a good history of paying off debts, it's a whole different situation from someone who deals with it badly and spirals and should avoid debt at all costs. In my opinion.

I personally wouldn't choose to go into debt over my wedding, but as with everything else, each to their own.

Idiophreak

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I for think that you shouldn't be getting into debt for things like a wedding or furnishing a home. Credit more correctly debt should be at the absolute minimum and not seen as normal

Why? Just out of curiosity....

Torry_Quine

Idiophreak wrote: »

Why? Just out of curiosity....

You never know when circumstances will change and what was affordable is no longer. There is also much greater satisfaction in saving up and buying something outright knowing that it's yours no matter what.

ladymarmalade

As has previously been said.....it is up to the couple, but I have never been to an evening reception and not been fed and would indeed be surprised if I was not fed. As people have said, if it's a week day, people are not likely to have had time to eat before they leave for a reception.

Also, in reply to whoever says weddings should be cheap......on what basis is this? Me any my OH are marrying in a couple of years and have waited so we have time to save up. Although we are spening approx £15,000 (which is a lot to me) we have planned carefully and saved carefully and are on track to not use credit for any of our day at all. Now where is all this moeny going? Well over half on the food as myself and OH both have huge families and i feel it is our duty to cater for them. Quite a bit is going on the wedding party clothes (5 bridesmaids, 6 in the groom party) as I do not feel it is fair to ask other people to pay for clothes that we are asking them to wear. Again the travel for guests to and from church and venue. Frivolous things such as table decor, invitations, orders of service, I am doing myself.

We could have cut down costs by not having a sit down meal, but as it is our only wedding day....we wnat it to last as long as possible.

it really annoys me when people question why we are spending that amount...it is our choice, we can afford it so leave us alone! Rant over:T

Idiophreak

Torry_Quine wrote: »

You never know when circumstances will change and what was affordable is no longer. There is also much greater satisfaction in saving up and buying something outright knowing that it's yours no matter what.

You think?

There are two ways of looking at it:
1) Save up for a sofa. Sit on the floor in the meantime.
2) Get a sofa on credit. Pay back the loan. Sit on a comfy sofa while you're doing it.

Personally, I liked the satisfaction of having a sofa to sit on from day one. I also liked the satisfaction of having my wedding before my elderly relatives have died.

I agree that you always have to be wary of changing circumstances - and I'd not advocate getting into more debt than you can comfortably repay - even allowing for reasonable changes in circumstances.

minerva_windsong

Idiophreak wrote: »

Poor form, really...normally people will expect to be fed unless told otherwise....

Not necessarily - if the invite didn't specify that there would be food I'd eat something before just in case there wasn't anything provided. That said I personally think it's poor form not to put anything out at all, even if it's just crisps and nuts, but as others have said it's the couple's wedding and they can do what they want.

ETA: I also think that there is nothing wrong with a cheap wedding but in a lot of cases it's not possible due to numbers. Unless you have a small wedding (less than 50 people) it seems that it's incredibly difficult to keep costs down as having a large amount of people to cater for quite often makes the cost of the basics like food, drink and finding a space big enough to hold them all shoot up.