Baby Gender Selection MSE

PoorCharleyBear

And as someone who has been through the painful IVF journey (emotionally painful) IVF is not guaranteed even if you have had successful pregnancies before.

We are fortunate to have one child and I long for another (and she yearns to be a sister) but you have to accept some things are not meant to be. Giving up on continuing IVF was the most difficult decision I have had to make, as it meant giving up on our dreams for a family of more than 3.

When I am feeling down, I have to remind myself that so many people have no success with IVF, and some do not have a wonderful healthy child..... and it is a mental kick up the bum to me for being irrational.

So remember IVF does not guarantee a child. If only life were that simple.

carolan78

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

OP , Are you the type who falls pregnat quite easily?

You may think thats a silly question to ask you but with me as soon as I decided I wanted a child I fell pregnant within the month and so the reason I ask is this:

There is a "chinese conception chart" which claims to be able to tell you what sex of child you will have according to your age at conception of the child and the month in which you conceive the child......

I discovered this AFTER I had had my 3 Children but upon looking at the details and comparing them to the sex of my kids it turned out to give the sex of my kids correctly.

I have also looked at it to find out the sex of many babies my friends and family members have had and it has been accurate on all occasions bar 1.....

Heres a link incase you want a look at it yourself. http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/baby/Chinese-conception-gender-chart-9

It was right for one child but wrong for the other.

marywooyeah

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

OP , Are you the type who falls pregnat quite easily?

You may think thats a silly question to ask you but with me as soon as I decided I wanted a child I fell pregnant within the month and so the reason I ask is this:

There is a "chinese conception chart" which claims to be able to tell you what sex of child you will have according to your age at conception of the child and the month in which you conceive the child......

I discovered this AFTER I had had my 3 Children but upon looking at the details and comparing them to the sex of my kids it turned out to give the sex of my kids correctly.

I have also looked at it to find out the sex of many babies my friends and family members have had and it has been accurate on all occasions bar 1.....

Heres a link incase you want a look at it yourself. http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/baby/Chinese-conception-gender-chart-9

I know someone who used this and had 2 girls in line with what they wanted - they then used it to have a boy. Last time I saw him I asked if they had found out the sex of the baby and he looked disappointed and said "yeah, its another girl......the little b**ch". I could not believe my ears!

no-oneknowsme

marywooyeah wrote: »

I know someone who used this and had 2 girls in line with what they wanted - they then used it to have a boy. Last time I saw him I asked if they had found out the sex of the baby and he looked disappointed and said "yeah, its another girl......the little b**ch". I could not believe my ears!

Wow! Thats just a terrible thing for someone to say about their own child!

I have 3 children , 2 girls , 1 boy and to be honest I am just thankful that I am lucky enough to have healthy kids regardless of their sex.

Some people just dont deserve them.

Person_one

Gillyx wrote: »

If I was you I would have replied with "well both my boys have been wonderful babies whereas girls I know are all whingey so we're over the moon "

Or not. You can be happy with the gender you have without running down the one you don't have.

Nara

I can understand where the OP is coming from. There's even a whole forum dedicated to gender dissapointment and people desperate for a certain sex trying all kinds of methods.

I only have one child, a girl, so I can;t really comment as I was not worried what I ended up with

But I do have childhood memories of my mum being pregnant and each time wishing for another girl.

I'm the eldest of 4 children, after my mum had me she had my two brothers, by the time the younger one was born I was very aware of my mum being desperate for another girl, my younger brother was born breech and my mum always tells the story of how when his feet came out first they said 'it's a boy' and she didn't want to push anymore as she was dissapointed.

11 years after i was born she had her fourth child, my sister. In those days you didn't find out the sex until u had the baby so of course my mum was really happy to get her little girl :mad: but it always made me feel like i wasn't good enough?

Why be desperate for a certain sex when you already have a child of that sex? it makes you feel like you have let your parents down or your not good enough so they want to replace you.
My sister was spoilt rotten and got everything that i would have died for, but did she appricate any of it? no, she was a spoilt brat and still is.
She is now 21 has 2 children (2 boys) and for once can't get what she wants, a little girl. Although she will probably go on to have more and more children until she gets one :mad: she gets bitter and twisted every time someone annouces they are having a baby and its a girl. I feel sorry for her children

Anyway, sorry to blab on i wanted ot get that off my chest lol. I think if its important to the OP then i respect that, its a hard road to go down and expensive, personally i couldn't afford it but i wish you all the best, just make sure your little boys never know how much you yearn for a daughter as like me they could end up feeling second best for the rest of their lives

Beetlemama

I think all of this could be irrelevant if no one says they are desperate for a girl. Do the OP's two sons need to know she's having/considering treatment for a girl child or are they young enough to just be told she's getting help having another baby?

When I was in hospital having my son, the young girl in the bed beside me was due to go home that day, she'd brought her baby in to the mothers room for the first time (special care unit) while she got ready to leave, put her laying on the bed, and we commented on her little girl, she picked her up in both hands like a toy, looked at her, turned her to face us, then pulled a face and said her boyfriend was so disappointed that he hadn't even bothered to come pick them up. I always hoped that little girl never found out how badly her father behaved and that she wasn't wanted the way she should have been, I hope they loved her once they got her home.

My boy was and is our pride and joy - but he was our second baby, we lost our first, I was so determined to get pregnant again, not to "replace" the baby we lost, but we felt so cheated of all the things we'd planned to do with our child, it wasn't just a miscarriage and a lost baby, it was all the brilliant paintings that would never be on our fridge, all the snowmen we'd never build, all the stories we'd would never read at bedtime, you lose so much more than a baby, you lose the whole rest of your life as you'd seen it stretching out before you when that second little line showed up.

DS doesn't know we lost our first baby, he doesn't know we've lost three more since having him, and there's no reason for us to ever tell him. It isn't a genetic fault he needs to be aware of for his own life, we were just too old and got started too late, but there's no reason for him to ever question whether we would have been happier with our first baby, or liked it more, or whether we tried to have more because we weren't happy with just him or any of the things that will inevitably pop into a teenagers mind. He doesn't need to know any of that. He's our one and only and he likes his position in the family.

I believe you can make that choice (gender selection) and still protect your children from any worry or harmful feelings, you don't have to tell them absolutely everything.

Spendless

Beetlemama - Have you considered that one day someone else might tell him, an older relative/family friend/acquaintance not to be spiteful but just a chance mention or that one day you might want to tell him that you totally understand how he feels if his girlfriend/wife suffers a mis-carriage totally un-related to his family history?

Gillyx

Person_one wrote: »

Or not. You can be happy with the gender you have without running down the one you don't have.

I don't actually mean that, all babies are different, but if someone was being so blatantly rude, I wouldn't just accept it.

I've had similar comments for things people have said to me since I found out I was having a boy.

It comes down to, thinking things in your head and actually saying them, some people need to learn when to zip it.

I've now got my OH to say to people "Oh I'll never marry her" in response to "Oh when are you going to get married/engaged" It normally shocks people and they have no idea what to say

Beetlemama

Spendless wrote: »

Beetlemama - Have you considered that one day someone else might tell him, an older relative/family friend/acquaintance not to be spiteful but just a chance mention or that one day you might want to tell him that you totally understand how he feels if his girlfriend/wife suffers a mis-carriage totally un-related to his family history?

We don't have an anyone else