Baby Gender Selection MSE

neverdespairgirl

JulieGeorgiana wrote: »

There is a book, which if followed gives an 80% chance success (and the reviews on the book at 80% positive), I knew someone who had both her children using these methods and had a boy and then a girl.

Might be worth a thought.

Stating an 80% success rate and 80% positive reviews might mean a 64% success rate - only just over what one might expect (-:

sparrer

My mother wanted a boy and a girl, and had them. Then she got pregnant with me and did her utmost to get rid, hot baths, gin, jumping downstairs, running - all the (legal) things available in the '40's.

When she was 16 my sister died in tragic circumstances. I was 14 and am now 64, and can't count the number of times over the last 50 years I have heard my mother say 'thank goodness I didn't get rid of you, I still have my daugher'. I don't think she does it intentionally but I feel like I'm a poor substitute in her eyes. I'd rather have 10 children of the same sex than to feel one of the other sex felt like this.

Have your third baby and just be happy you can have children, healthy, happy and most of all loved. If you feel you'd not love a boy, then please, don't have another child.

Peanuckle

Please bear in mind that any child born won't ever be able to replace the little angel you've already lost. My parents had 2 sons when my sister was born, she was their much longed for little girl but sadly she was born with severe hydrocephalus that wasn't compatible with life and passed away within hours of birth. They'd already chosen her name and bought everything for her arrival and were, of course, devastated at their loss and decided to never to try again.

5 years later I arrive, very much unplanned and post-vasectomy. Although I was healthy, apart from a minor twisted foot, neither of them found it easy to bond with their new daughter. I was given the same name as my older sister had had and they attempted to pretend for most of my childhood that I was her reborn. Sadly this meant that any misbehaviour or difficulties on my part meant that I was failing to live up to her memory in their eyes. It wasn't til I was in my early teens that I was even told by an aunt about her so I spent most of that time being forced into fitting into their image of what she'd have grown up to be, the perfect little angel that I could never aspire to mimic.


I'm sure you have no intention to force this on any child you may have but please remember that she might not turn out to be what you expect, and may well be a tomboy as this is apparently common amongst girls with just older brothers. I do wish you the very best of luck in your decision and hope you, and your family, find what you are searching for

JC9297

I personally think you have a third child because you want three children, not with conditions i.e. we only want another if it's a girl. Each child/person is individual, and you shouldn't try and manipulate the sex to try and get a child with the interests,characteristics, behaviour that you desire in a child.

Whenever there is a tv programme or article about this it does always seem to be women craving daughters after having boys, rather than the other way round or men desperate for a son or daughter. I think they are often very 'girly' women who want their daughter to grow up to be someone they can do things with (e.g. go shopping!) and they have expectations of the type of girl she will be. I think they could end up very disappointed if the daughter doesn't fit in with their plans.

toniq

Ivf is changing in this country, each clinic has it's protocol, My baby is a frozen embryo transfer, She was actually from a previous ivf of mine in 2009 so has been on ice for 2 years.

The clinic I used like quite a few has a limit to embryos implanted, Guy's and St thomas's Acu had the rule of 2 embryos under the age of 40 and 3 only above and in exceptional circumstances.

They used to allow 3 with a frozen transfer, but that is now 2, suggested guidelines i read earlier this year before I had my transfer suggested to cut the multiple birth rate only 1 will be implanted in most cases, which for alot of ivf ladies will be devastating.

I had 3 frozen defrosted on my transfer day, 1 embro didn't make the thaw and the other 2 were implanted and i fell pregnant with twins, sadly I lost one of my twins at 6 weeks, which again is quite normal and am carrying 1 baby now.

At no point was the sex of my baby offered or mentioned, that isn't part of normal Ivf/icsi, that is done via Pgd which again is done at alot of Ivf clinics and costs thousands ontop of Ivf/icsi. I found out my babys sex at the 20 week scan.

Cost wise, we were totally private and had the unit head as our consultant as we believed and trusted in his research and competency, for a whole round of Ivf+Icsi with drugs was £5,000, there was many many investigations and tests over the years which cost anything from £300 to £1500. The appt's with the consultant were £250 for 30 mins, it is a very expensive ordeal.

Hope that helps x

VfM4meplse

I am very sorry to learn of your heartbreaking loss, I really feel for you:grouphug:. I know you're question relates to having a biological child, but have you considered adoption? Gender selection in adoption is less of a contentious issue (you'll be unlikely to face judemental critcism) but most importantly there are hundreds of thousands of girls ariund the world who are discarded at birth purely because they are girls! They still need love, care and good stable homes, and being a parent already I'm sure your capable of loving any child you raise.

Kandboys

I'm sorry for your loss I really am. But I'm afraid I don't agree with PGD. In essence, you are rejecting healthy baby boy embryos as they are 'not good enough'. There was a programme on a little while ago called '8 boys and wanting a girl'. I'm sure it's still on 4OD. There are many, many women who cannot have children for whatever reason and I'm sure they wouldn't care about the sex in the slightest. This isn't a dig at you OP, just an opinion from someone who is due their 3rd baby boy and who has been told what a shame he isn't a girl from so many people. Every baby is different and they shouldn't be defined just because of what is between their legs or what colour clothes they wear.

You could try this website as there are lots of gender selection methods on there. Be warned though, most fail unfortunately.

www.in-gender.com

lisawood78

Not read the entire thread but also IVF, as i'm sure you know is not a guarantee and you may need to try multiple times to get a positive result, regardless of your fertility. This could possibly run into 10's of thousands and i'd have to question if spending all that money on something you could have for free (as in the act of conception) was really a good idea.

I honestly think either adoption or just taking what occurs naturally but with very slim chance of ever having children myself these days i'm sure my opinion is biased.
Hope you can find a decision you are happy with.

Kandboys

It's also illegal in this country unless it's for medical/genetic reasons as far as I'm aware.

nobodyknows_2

Thanks for all the posts everyone !

Some conflicting views with my own but no more than I expected and even those that do disagree thank you for doing so sensitively !

Some very heartbreaking tales here thank you for sharing those I'm so sorry that you feel the way you do to those posters.

My second son is truly not a failed attempt at a girl and he will never ever feel that when I got pregnant with him before even trying I knew I had to be 100% happy to have a boy as much as a girl and when he was I didn't mind I love my little boys dearly I always have and I always will they are gorgeous.

I don't want a girl to replace my daughter I do feel though that I have missed out almost like I had the opportunity to parent a girl and then it was cruelly taken from me before she really had a life it was merely a tragic set of circumstances that took her from me she was who she was and will always be my first little girl she had her own identity and I woldn't want any subsequent children to live up to her because they each have their own identity.

I can't really put into words what the longing feels like its just there and will not go away I don't think that unless you have experienced it you will know what I am talking about I also think that had I never had her it probably wouldn't even be there because before I ever got pregnant I would have been happy with just having whatever I was given other people made comments when I was having DS2 "oh what a shame" and I truly never felt like that he is who he is he's completely different to DS1 and his own little person and I can't describe here just how much I love them and how lucky I am to have them.

We recognise that the clinics will cost a fortune we are willing to pay it I think it is worth it and if we went through it all and still ended up with a boy then I'd feel like I gave it my best shot and having a daughter wasn't meant to be and he'd be welcomed into our family and loved for who he is, I don't know what impact that would have on this feeling inside because how could I I won't know unless that happens I guess !

I was one of two girls growing up and a complete tomboy so I wouldn't be surprised if any daughter I had was too I'm more "girly" as an adult but I really wouldn't care either way what she wanted to do or if she grew up and wanted a sex change or whatever they would all be choices for her to make and she'd be suppirted by me the whole way just the same as the boys would if they wanted the same things.