Baby Gender Selection MSE

gratefulforhelp_2

Kandboys wrote: »

just an opinion from someone who is due their 3rd baby boy and who has been told what a shame he isn't a girl from so many people. Every baby is different and they shouldn't be defined just because of what is between their legs or what colour clothes they wear.

Don't those people drive you bonkers:mad:

neverdespairgirl

toniq wrote: »

At no point was the sex of my baby offered or mentioned, that isn't part of normal Ivf/icsi, that is done via Pgd which again is done at alot of Ivf clinics and costs thousands ontop of Ivf/icsi. I found out my babys sex at the 20 week scan.

It's only done for medical reasons in the country. It's illegal to do it because the parents fancy a boy or a girl.

neverdespairgirl

Kandboys wrote: »

This isn't a dig at you OP, just an opinion from someone who is due their 3rd baby boy and who has been told what a shame he isn't a girl from so many people.

I'm the eldest of 4, 3 girls, and a boy at the end. A lot of people thought my parents kept trying until they had a son, but my mother says she assumed by the time my brother was born that girls were what she had. They didn't even have a boy's name chosen!

A few weeks before he was born, my mother told my sisters and me what "her" name was intended to be. They had to have another quick think afterwards, as he'd have gone through life getting funny looks if he'd been called Rosalind.

Kandboys

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Don't those people drive you bonkers:mad:

YES!! When we found out at our 20 week scan we were just so grateful he was looking healthy. Then for people to say what a shame or oh well you'll have to try again for your girl rather than saying congrats it left a bad taste in my mouth!! People just don't think before they speak

Gillyx

Kandboys wrote: »

YES!! When we found out at our 20 week scan we were just so grateful he was looking healthy. Then for people to say what a shame or oh well you'll have to try again for your girl rather than saying congrats it left a bad taste in my mouth!! People just don't think before they speak

If I was you I would have replied with "well both my boys have been wonderful babies whereas girls I know are all whingey so we're over the moon "

I've always wanted 3 boys! :eek:

FBaby

I can understand your longing, but not the extent to which you are prepared to go to get what you wish for so desperately. In the end, what matters is that you are happy, with a baby girl or not. One solution is of course to concentrate an put all your efforts on having that girl, the other would be to do everything to learn to accept that it won't happen. It might sound like a no go zone, but do think about it.

There are a lot of issues you need to consider if you are going to go for it. Firstly and probably the most important one, the low chance of success. The biggest factor of success is your age, on the basis of number and quality of eggs. To be successful, you would need to respond well to the drugs so you can produce as many eggs as possible. This is very much dependant on your age. You can produce 25 eggs if you are under 20, but you are often lucky to produce over 10 after 35. let's say you are pretty young and produce 15 eggs, 10 are mature enough to be fertilised, 8 do fertilise (they don't always do and the older you are the more likely they might not), on the basis of 50/50, you are only left with 4 fertilised eggs. 2 are implanted and you then have a 30%ish chance of success (again, going down dramatically if over 35, only about 10% after 40) and then there is always the 1 in 3 chance of miscarriage afterwards.

IVF is a very physically and emotionally demanding intervention. You won't be able to have it done in Europe, so most likely will have to travel quite far to have it done. Will you go on your own, have your partner join you on D-Day? Will you go together and leave your boy without their parents for a few weeks? Will you take them with you? How many tries are you prepared to consider, knowing that one PGD IVF will cost at least £10 most likely more, without accommodation/flights costs?

I am not judging you at all and not saying what you considering it is wrong, but I am not sure you have completely thought it through and consider all the implications on you and your famiily.

no-oneknowsme

OP , Are you the type who falls pregnat quite easily?

You may think thats a silly question to ask you but with me as soon as I decided I wanted a child I fell pregnant within the month and so the reason I ask is this:

There is a "chinese conception chart" which claims to be able to tell you what sex of child you will have according to your age at conception of the child and the month in which you conceive the child......

I discovered this AFTER I had had my 3 Children but upon looking at the details and comparing them to the sex of my kids it turned out to give the sex of my kids correctly.

I have also looked at it to find out the sex of many babies my friends and family members have had and it has been accurate on all occasions bar 1.....

Heres a link incase you want a look at it yourself. http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/baby/Chinese-conception-gender-chart-9

onlyroz

Had a look at that chart and it's wrong on both counts for me.

Spendless

nobodyknows wrote: »

I don't want a girl to replace my daughter I do feel though that I have missed out almost like I had the opportunity to parent a girl and then it was cruelly taken from me before she really had a life it was merely a tragic set of circumstances that took her from me she was who she was and will always be my first little girl she had her own identity and I woldn't want any subsequent children to live up to her because they each have their own identity.

I can't really put into words what the longing feels like its just there and will not go away I don't think that unless you have experienced it you will know what I am talking about I also think that had I never had her it probably wouldn't even be there because before I ever got pregnant I would have been happy with just having whatever I was given other people made comments when I was having DS2 "oh what a shame" and I truly never felt like that he is who he is he's completely different to DS1 and his own little person and I can't describe here just how much I love them and how lucky I am to have them.

We recognise that the clinics will cost a fortune we are willing to pay it I think it is worth it and if we went through it all and still ended up with a boy then I'd feel like I gave it my best shot and having a daughter wasn't meant to be and he'd be welcomed into our family and loved for who he is, I don't know what impact that would have on this feeling inside because how could I I won't know unless that happens I guess !

I was one of two girls growing up and a complete tomboy so I wouldn't be surprised if any daughter I had was too I'm more "girly" as an adult but I really wouldn't care either way what she wanted to do or if she grew up and wanted a sex change or whatever they would all be choices for her to make and she'd be suppirted by me the whole way just the same as the boys would if they wanted the same things.

I totally understand the longing of another child after a loss (mine was in pregnancy) not to replace but to direct your love too and yes my next child was a boy like the one I lost and then I went onto have a girl so I haven't got your circs, but what I can say is as mum to both son and daughter I don't parent a girl in a different way to a boy, honestly it is no different. They fetch different things to your life by having different interests/clothes/hairstyles but you can get that with siblings of the same sex.

The other thing I'll say is, as a society we focus too much on what we don't have, rather than concentrating on what we do have and perhaps some counselling would help you or clarify if this is def the way forward or whether another child conceived naturally is what you want.

JC9297

Spendless wrote: »

I totally understand the longing of another child after a loss (mine was in pregnancy) not to replace but to direct your love too and yes my next child was a boy like the one I lost and then I went onto have a girl so I haven't got your circs, but what I can say is as mum to both son and daughter I don't parent a girl in a different way to a boy, honestly it is no different. They fetch different things to your life by having different interests/clothes/hairstyles but you can get that with siblings of the same sex.

The other thing I'll say is, as a society we focus too much on what we don't have, rather than concentrating on what we do have and perhaps some counselling would help you or clarify if this is def the way forward or whether another child conceived naturally is what you want.

I agree totally with both points you make.

Also many parents end up having a different experience of parenthood than they would have liked, particularly those with disabled children, but that's life.