Spill the beans ... how did you financially survive divorce?

Former_MSE_Lee

Spill the beans... how did you financially survive divorce? [IMGRIGHT]http://images.moneysavingexpert.com/images/spillthebeans2.gif[/IMGRIGHT]
This week we want to know, if you've been through the turmoils of divorce, how did you handle the financial strain that comes with it?

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toffeegirl

Bought the 'Which Guide to Divorce' and avoided solicitor fees (house transfer solicitor costs excepted). Took in a couple as short term lodgers then a student teacher for an academic year. Total pain to share my home - but small price to pay to help keep it. No kids, so less complicated.

mustmakealist

I managed the divorce myself without solicitors and negotiated financial settlement myself. Luckily had room for an au pair as this was cheaper than paying for childcare. Bought ex out of the house by taking on a mortgage that will continue until I'm 66, but it means I won't have to sell the house when youngest reaches 18.

It's not easy but it can be done.

kb92830

I just about survived financially. Made the mistake of giving too much at the original financial hearings without considering the long term implications. The fact is both parents need a win win situation long term. I gave up the house, car, a lump sum as well as having to earning nearly 15k per year just to service the maintenance bill. I am not being critical of their mother as she was not working at the time we split, but once the kids were at school full time and she resumed a career in the medical profession it would not have hurt her to say I don't need quite so much each month now. Also don't forget the effect of index linking the payments, mine nearly doubled in 10 years, unfortunately my earnings didn't keep up. Best advice for me is to keep it amicable, pay the least you have to then top it up voluntarily if you wish.

The biggest mistake I made was agreeing to pay all the legal fees, both hers and mine, I sat there for a number of days watching my solicitor argue with her Barrister all at my expense (and it ran in to thousands) , hindsight is a wonderful thing.

VestanPance

Attempted to make it as easy as possible. Still spent a fortune of solicitors.

I was bought out the home, used the money from that plus some savings to pay my divorce fees and put down a deposit on a new home. That and spent a small fortune of stuff you no longer have, like tin openers, bed sheets and a million other daft things you had collected over the prevoius 17 years but no longer had.

After it, stopped going on holidays and stayed in far more.

Kay_Peel

I worked on the principle that good relations and communication were vital and that the less involvement with legal people the better.

scotsbob

You have to deal with it practically and emotionally.

When still single my brother bought a house in his name and "rented it" to me. I bought a house in my name and "rented it" to him.

Evebtually we both married. After 9 years of marriage my wife left and her solicitor wanted her share of the house, what a surprise they got to find I was just renting.

I then moved overseas for a couple of years and transferred my money.

On an emotional level I have always found that when a relationship breaks up it is best to get involved in another on ASAP this means you don't have time to brood over the past.

holterchris

He suggested we avoid solicitors and agree a financial split. I agreed as I wanted him out my life. After his first visit to a solicitor........it started.....the fights. He ended up paying £85,000 legal fees and I paid £18,000 under legal aid. What a waste of money and time, if he had kept to his word and not been so greedy, we could have split the legal costs between us. After a 4 year court battle with him, the judge ordered him to pay me half a million in cash and he kept the rest of the assets. I was overjoyed and now live a cheap and happy life in Sharm El Sheikh in a wonderful home, while he no doubt is still fretting about his loss and still counting his pennies every day. Greed and deceipt never pays. I was the winner in the end, not just financially, as I can look in a mirror and know I told the truth, can he do that? I doubt it.

alandbailey

I took out an equity release mortgage to fund the divorce and thus keep my house.
I thought I had come to a financial agreement with the wife so I would get an interest only mortgage that I could afford and our sons would still inherit a largish sum. Either her friend or the solicitor got at my wife and she took every penny she could, disregarding the boys' inheritance. My sons are the main losers as if I live another 20-odd years, my estate will just pay off the mortgage. I offered to transfer the £250,000 house to them on condition they paid a £40,000 mortgage and I lived there rentfree - they declined.
I think that I will make out a new will and the Woodland Trust and other charities, inc UKIP will benefit - unless I find another woman of course!

Winnie_in_Pooh

I had an escape fund. It took me nearly 4 years to be in a position to actually proceed to divorce, and in the end my hand was forced by his being arrested and imprisoned.

Lenny_bun

I survived pretty well: we had one joint account which was easily sorted out. The break up was amicable. He bought me out of the mortgage so I have a large lump sum in various ISAs/savings accounts/bonds but this means I came off the housing ladder 4 years ago (and haven't been able to get back on it since because of house prices). Interest rates are poor so I haven't earned much of that but no matter.

He has struggled more being saddled with the mortgage and then suffering redundancy last year.

If I had the nerve, I reckon we could have gone through divorce ourselves without the solicitor as their help was OK but nothing we couldn't have sorted and we would have saved ourselves a lot of money. We agreed the only winners out of the whole thing were the solicitors.

The mortgage company, Nationwide weren't great either. I offered to go with him to talk to them about buying me out as he has little confidence in financial affairs so rang up my local branch to book an appointment for him and explain the situation. They were really blunt with me and basically said they didn't want anything to do with me any more as my name was coming off the mortgage. Not all marriage break ups are acrimonious so this was a bit of a surprise. I still bank with them but I don't know that I would take a mortgage with them again as they're very inflexible and unsupportive. Even of people who have been with them for 30 years.