London Socialite Sees The Light

turbo.jet

I feel your pain.

First of all... its your boss's choice to get the drinks, doesn't warrant a guilt trip. Just stick to your guns and keep insisting that you are sticking to a budget and the £25 has already used the budget up. They will eventually back down.

As for your flatmate's dosser using everything, this is my number one pet peeve. I believe your flatmate is jointly liable for the loss you've incurred and if he/she were a decent person would re-imburse you. I've had to use flatmate's things before and I ALWAYS replaced them with a full container of whatever it was. Its very rare for me to even do it. As far as I'm concerned, if you need something, buy it. Its OK to be caught without something every once in a while but don't rely on full use of other's things until they run out. AAAAAAARGH this sort of inconsideration makes the veins in my forehead throb with hate and its the number one reason I am fervently saving for a mortgage deposit. I only live with one other person now and she's quite good but has started seeing this loser who uses my stuff. I am too old to live like a student and have to keep my shower gel in my bedroom. Grrrrrrr.

Sorry, I realise this probably isn't doing much to soothe and calm you. I guess you just have to risk being unpopular and raise it with your flatmate if you feel very strongly about it. That's my only constructive advice.

LondonGirl252

Thanks mate,

You're compeltely right, I will stick to it and actually rather than going onto the next place for one or two before the last tube I will just go home after the meal. I can sneak off to the tube between places.

Me too, I seem to be the one that buys a lot of the "stuff" for the flat ... dishwasher tabs, loo roll etc and recently Ive been purposefully holding off to make sure they buy stuff once in a while. Thanks, I'll mention it again, looking forward to having the living room back, she really is a dosser!

turbo.jet

Sounds like something else that rhymes with dosser! Maybe you should implement a kitty for shared stuff? I had one in a shared house once and it worked well. What we did was, whenever we bought something for the flat, we put our name on the receipt and stuck it in a jar (or if no receipt just a slip of paper). Then every so often we'd add up the total of all receipts, then divide by the number of people living in the flat. This was how much we owed. Then you just settle it amongst yourselves.

If all else fails and you are expecting one of those 'no you have to stay' discussions, just do a crab walk. Then text from home and say 'Home safe, couldn't find you to say bye. Thanks for a great night'

LondonGirl252

turbo.jet wrote: »

Sounds like something else that rhymes with dosser! Maybe you should implement a kitty for shared stuff? I had one in a shared house once and it worked well. What we did was, whenever we bought something for the flat, we put our name on the receipt and stuck it in a jar (or if no receipt just a slip of paper). Then every so often we'd add up the total of all receipts, then divide by the number of people living in the flat. This was how much we owed. Then you just settle it amongst yourselves.

If all else fails and you are expecting one of those 'no you have to stay' discussions, just do a crab walk. Then text from home and say 'Home safe, couldn't find you to say bye. Thanks for a great night'

Good idea, my ex had that in his flat and it worked too.

HAHA great plan, can just say I lost them - easy to do in covent Garden!

Erme

Maybe you'll have to Girl?

Anyhow this is another link for easy xmas crafts for you to do on your early night's in tee hee

http://www.marthastewart.com/275615/easy-christmas-crafts#/201066

E

MuffinTops

I also don't mean to create a downer, but it's not just Christmas you're going to get that pressure. People are used to you being the social butterfly and now you're trying to remove yourself from their comfort zone and they're not comfortable with it. Once the Christmas parties are over there will be lunchtime drinks or drinks/outings after work that you need to contend with albeit not as many in such a small space of time.

As difficult as it is your best choice is to make the polite stand now, while you're in the fresh stages of saving money and not too exasperated. Plus, you can let out all your steam on here with us, who all understand what you're going through.

I don't drink alcohol when I'm out, I never have, but I still get pressured every time I'm out to "just have one". It's not just misery that loves company. People who drink, eat and party like it too!

It's also because your friends/colleagues love your company and don't want you going home as you keep the night alive for them, so when you do feel frustrated, don't forget there's a compliment in there from them too. :A

LondonGirl252

MuffinTops wrote: »

I also don't mean to create a downer, but it's not just Christmas you're going to get that pressure. People are used to you being the social butterfly and now you're trying to remove yourself from their comfort zone and they're not comfortable with it. Once the Christmas parties are over there will be lunchtime drinks or drinks/outings after work that you need to contend with albeit not as many in such a small space of time.

As difficult as it is your best choice is to make the polite stand now, while you're in the fresh stages of saving money and not too exasperated. Plus, you can let out all your steam on here with us, who all understand what you're going through.

I don't drink alcohol when I'm out, I never have, but I still get pressured every time I'm out to "just have one". It's not just misery that loves company. People who drink, eat and party like it too!

It's also because your friends/colleagues love your company and don't want you going home as you keep the night alive for them, so when you do feel frustrated, don't forget there's a compliment in there from them too. :A

Thank you Muffin, you're completely right. Feel much better about it now, I'm just going to go and enjoy the meal then leave straight after meal so I cant be pressured into staying wherever we are.

I have explained to my boss over drinks a while back my reasons (but not extent of) for not spending as much, maybe he just needs a gentle reminder too.

Yeah I did use to be life and soul of the party... its what got me into this mess

determined_new_ms

London girl you are doing fantastically & are a real inspiration! I'm so impressed with how you are still being social while you're killing the dbet! I really had to rein it in & that sadly ended some really important friendships for me.

I've also been really inspired by your talking of running (case of running envy!). I'm a runner too - albeit still in the novice/improving phase, haven't been for a couple of weeks but today went for a 5.5k jog, 12k seems mammouth!

keep going you really are so encouraging to others

LondonGirl252

determined_new_ms wrote: »

London girl you are doing fantastically & are a real inspiration! I'm so impressed with how you are still being social while you're killing the dbet! I really had to rein it in & that sadly ended some really important friendships for me.

I've also been really inspired by your talking of running (case of running envy!). I'm a runner too - albeit still in the novice/improving phase, haven't been for a couple of weeks but today went for a 5.5k jog, 12k seems mammouth!

keep going you really are so encouraging to others

I had just logged on to write about how awful I felt following a conversation with my flatmate about a friend of hers who's in £12k in debt, and how she was not exactly complementary of that friends situation etc etc I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

But your post just made me tearful for all the right reasons, thank you. She doesn't know the extent of my situation just that I'm "paying some bits off" and I'm sure she'd be supportive (to my face at least!) if she did know so I shouldn't take it to heart.

Thanks for the boost I needed

Nice one on the run! I should add that the 12k does include some little walks as I still get stitches but its so nice to get out and blow off some steam!

OK I'm off to bed now, I PROMISE tomorrow I will be more positive and upbeat about all this again.

Night all, and thanks again. You lot really do keep me going. xx

LondonGirl252

PS NSD no1