London Socialite Sees The Light

AndyBSG

Funny thing about working in the City is you don't realise how soul destroying it is until it's gone!

I worked there straight out of school for a decade, relocated to more obscre places like Worthing, Stirling and Dartford and couldn't wait to get back up London.

When I did go back I had a fantastic job but found the things I used to love about London(i.e the non stop social scene) now seemed kind of shallow and just designed to get me to waste money I could put to better use.

Then there's the people! I found when I returned it was very hard not to get in punch ups on my commute every day with how rude and inconsiderate Londonites are! Barging you on tubes, no basic courtesy like holding doors open or thanking you whne you do it for them.

Lasted 4 more years up there before I got a job back out in the outer reaches of rural Essex.

Once I took off commuting costs I drop about 10-15% in take home pay.

However, my cost of living dropped(lunches, after work drinks, etc are much cheaper) and instead of leaving my house at 6.30 in the morning and getting home at 19.00 I now leave at 8.00 and get home by 17.30.

Also, getting out of London does change your mentality. You realise career, success and money really aren't as important as everyone up the City makes out

I may not have as much money nowadays as I did during my City days but i'm certainly a much more chilled and relaxed person!

One thing I would say, wait until you have something lined up before handing your notice in. 3 months really isn't a barrier to getting a job as you'll find most places nowadays have that as the norm and it isn't just a London thing. What with all the admin involved in referencing in this day and age it's pretty rare to go from a job offer to first day of employment in less than that

LondonGirl252

Hi Andy


Thanks very much for your post I can totally relate to all of that! Especially the people, that's the biggest thing I find difficult... often I want to ask the person sat next to me if they'd like to share half the cost of my train ticket since they're sharing half my seat!!!


I would defintiley value the extra time at home and the better way of life than the "buzz" of the city... which I certainly don't see the appeal of anymore either. You did really well to last an extra 4 years, I am only 4.5 months in and well, you know how that's going!


Thanks for the re-assurance re the notice period too, I will have a real effort at job hunting and keep pluggin away until then, hopefully by spring/summer I'll have something lined up.


Had my 1-2-1 just now and mentioned in passing how I find the commute and we had a joke about how awful it can be, didn't make a big deal of it but I've mentioned it and I will try to stay positive about it all until I find something else!

Brightspark87

Hi LG

Firstly - importantly well done on the slimming world and recipes being a success and saving each month. When things are hard its easy to slip into bad habits.

Now job wise. You will sort this out but it may be time to leave the city and london. You can always chose to return? I miss some people but mostly I do not miss a thing and the benefits of not having that level of pressure far outway any 'pulls' I still feel. Plus you are still close enough to visit!

Good luck I hope you hear positive news re jobs. Its nearly a year to the day that I made that decision to move and started the process of talking to recruitment agencies, firms etc. What is the worse that happens? You don't think the grass is greener and you stay.

Good luck either way! xx

LINKYPIE2009

Hello - coming out of lurkdom briefly. The job situation is not ideal, I found myself in a situation a work where I was constantly unhappy and stressed and it was affecting my home life (could never switch off). I made the decision just before Christmas to step down a grade (effectively ending career prospects for now) - and have never been happier, work is good, get quality time off with DH and DD, and am feeling good in myself. I admit I was luckily that I didn't have to take a pay cut but I think I would have considered it even if f I had to.

Sometimes you need to take the plunge....for the greater good.

Remember we work so we can live, we don't live so we can work!

I hope my ramblings make some sort of sense

hugs x

LondonGirl252

Brightspark87 wrote: »

Hi LG

Firstly - importantly well done on the slimming world and recipes being a success and saving each month. When things are hard its easy to slip into bad habits.

Now job wise. You will sort this out but it may be time to leave the city and london. You can always chose to return? I miss some people but mostly I do not miss a thing and the benefits of not having that level of pressure far outway any 'pulls' I still feel. Plus you are still close enough to visit!

Good luck I hope you hear positive news re jobs. Its nearly a year to the day that I made that decision to move and started the process of talking to recruitment agencies, firms etc. What is the worse that happens? You don't think the grass is greener and you stay.

Good luck either way! xx

Heya Bright Spark


Thank you, another 1.2kg gone this week so i am very happy! I am feeling slimmer and have had a few comments at work that i have lost weight too so i feel really good about that.


You're totally right, I know I can't keep up this commute for longer... will write more in my main post in a sec.


xx

LondonGirl252

LINKYPIE2009 wrote: »

Hello - coming out of lurkdom briefly. The job situation is not ideal, I found myself in a situation a work where I was constantly unhappy and stressed and it was affecting my home life (could never switch off). I made the decision just before Christmas to step down a grade (effectively ending career prospects for now) - and have never been happier, work is good, get quality time off with DH and DD, and am feeling good in myself. I admit I was luckily that I didn't have to take a pay cut but I think I would have considered it even if f I had to.

Sometimes you need to take the plunge....for the greater good.

Remember we work so we can live, we don't live so we can work!

I hope my ramblings make some sort of sense

hugs x

Hiya! Thanks for coming out of Lurkdom to send your message


That is great, I am so pleased for you and it really helps to hear others stories in similar situations, it really helps so thank you


x

LondonGirl252

Hi everyone!


Hope you are all well and having a good week.


This week has been the first week that M has been away with work while we have lived together, it has been OK. I was a little nervous at first but actually I've been fine. It's a bit lonely but at least I know I can manage now, especially when there is potential for him going away for 2 months in May/June time! ARGH!


Health wise it is all going well, I lost another 1.2 kilos this week which I am happy with, I think I have 7 more to go to get to a happy weight.


Spoke to the nurse today who said that my 24 hour blood pressure readings came back OK, there were a couple of high ones but on the whole it's fine. She said its going to be a lot higher on the days I commute to town and am stressed but to try and excerise/rest as much as possible to keep it healthy.


Money wise, reasonable. I have had a few expenses recently that weren't expected, my fitbit brooke and that was £100 to replace but I love it and miss having one so its £100 well spent. The boy and I went shopping at the weekend and I bought a few clothes, I needed some in case of interviews etc mainly so another investment I hope.


So, job news.... I got asked in for an interview for the role I was put forward for and I went in for that yesterday morning. Its a 25 mins drive from home through some nice villages, nice offices. I met the lady who would be my boss (L) and we had her boss (N) on skype. I think it went really well, i liked them both and we had a good rapour and I think my experience would suit their needs well. The only downside is that they need someone by the end of March and my notice is 3 months. They have a contractor in there at the moment so maybe there is flexibility on her finish date. I should find out tomorrow if they'd like me to attend the second interview.


It would be a £3-5k (before tax) payrise which is fab considering I wouldn't have to pay £4k (after tax) on trains and then additional expense for tubes etc. We would need a second car but even that wouldn't cost as much as the savings on my rail fare. Another thing I liked was that they have a casual dress code and wear jeans to work, that would suit me SO well!!!


Please keep all your fingers and toes crossed for me!


I am stilll worrying (if i was lucky enough to get the job or even a different one if this doesn't work out) about communicating this to my boss, I genuinely think he would want to know what I am planning to do and be angry with me if i just resign out of the blue, but I don't think I can tell him. What if I don't get the job? Then I have to work here with them knowing my commitment is wavering but also what if they then decided to give me my notice? I would have 3 months to find something but if i didn't I can't afford to be out of work.


What do you guys think? I need to put myself first but I am just dreading that conversation!


LG xx

JustAboutThere

LondonGirl252 wrote: »

I am stilll worrying (if i was lucky enough to get the job or even a different one if this doesn't work out) about communicating this to my boss, I genuinely think he would want to know what I am planning to do and be angry with me if i just resign out of the blue, but I don't think I can tell him. LG xx

Can't remember if I've posted on your diary before - but if I have, its yonks ago.

You've already (from memory) told your boss that the commute is affecting you/your health. Tell him its taking too much of a toll and you've decided to take a job outside London.

I'd wait until you hear about the prospective job. I know you've got a three month notice period, but I assume you told them that at interview. If they want you, they'll wait.

I also commute, but I'm so far down the Tube line that I get a seat (good point); the bad point is its a longer journey. Plus the daily commando course to get out of the tube when others are crowding around the doors. Just once I'd like to experience a tube journey and not get my feet stomped on. At least two journeys a day x five days a week, plus sometimes at weekends. It mounts up - and my feet aren't even that large. I can wish, I suppose

Good luck.

AndyBSG

LondonGirl252 wrote: »

What do you guys think? I need to put myself first but I am just dreading that conversation!

Stick with the job, keep applying for other jobs and deal with handing notice in and notice periods when you've been offered and accepted a job you want.

I'd advise against handing your notice in then trying to find a job though. It's a LOT easier to find a job when you're employed than when you're unemployed.

No manager in the world takes a member of staff handing their notice in personally as it's part of management!

lulabelle

yep LG, unless you could survive for a couple of months without pay I'd hang on until you have another job before giving notice.

At the end of the day, you have to put yourself first - the co you currently work for managed before you came along so they will manage when you go (not saying that in a horrid way - just being practical - pretty much everyone is replaceable). Yes it's a ball ache for them having to find someone else but that's why your notice period is as long as it is, to give them time.

I totally understand your guilt, I had it too but as the others said, you've already mentioned the commute is killing you and life is too short. Put yourself first. Your co won't put you first when it's in their interests not to.

Everything is crossed for you!

x