We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
The Forum now has a brand new text editor, adding a bunch of handy features to use when creating posts. Read more in our how-to guide
problem with CSA
Comments
-
To be honest, I am starting to understand why you are so outraged because it sounds like it is not so much you who has to answer for the situation but your partner who seems to be making a habit at deception. Surely if he could lie (ie not admit that he had a child when you moved in together) he could be lying about his contact with the csa, his debts with his ex etc...
My ex is a serial liar, lied to me over and over and does the same with his new partner. I know that because I am still in close contact with his parents who knows exactly what happened, and what his partner says he has told them is nothing close the truth. They don't say anything, it is not for them to be involved, but she clearly doesn't know a lot of things which took place or the truth behind his debts.
It sounds to me like you should stay out of it. It is his battle after all and only he knows exactly what he has done and not done. If he strongly believes that the csa are treating him unfairly, it is for him to take it with them.0 -
He doesn't have contact with the child no. Again another really messy story. She dragged him thru the courts accused of something he didn't do. He was found not guilty in court which is where the bitterness comes from on her part. She thought she could ruin his life because she didn't like being dumped. She couldn't do it that way so she used the CSA to do it
I am sorry, Kizzy, but no wonder you have trust issues. He forgets/neglects to mention he has a child to you? How on earth could you trust that what he's saying here is true? People are vindictive, I know that and I have seen behaviour in my ex I struggle to comprehend....but if it's a 'not guilty' case, that suggests he's been tried which would suggest somewhere along the line, the police/social services/someone in authority (depends on what he was supposed to have done) thought there was some merit to the situation? Apologies if I have understood that incorrectly. Seriously, do you trust him? And if so, why?
Using the CSA is not necessarily a way of punishing an ex partner - most of us come to use the CSA when we have been unable to get maintenance payments by other means. You suggested in your first post that your partner didn't pay anything to the ex for a while - this would explain her going to the CSA. Others would disagree (mainly the NRPs, I know!) and say that the CSA is used to punish people but again, it depends on what side of the fence you're sitting on. The fact is, he stopped paying money at some point and she went to the CSA? Is that correct?
From where I'm standing, you're a supportive and loyal partner at some level and trying to protect your children at another. But there is something more here that now worries me - it's that you seem determined to believe him at all costs and I suspect there is an awful lot you've not been told.
I shall mind my own business - and drop out now!0 -
MEF is Maintenance Enquiry Form (i think) all NRP have to fill in one of these to confirm they are in fact the child/childrens parent.0
-
The CSA have already told him they made the assessment based on the job he was in back home0
-
He would have still of had to confirm to them he was the childs father, for all the CSA faults they cant just take money off people because a PWC says Joe Bloggs down the road is my baby father, if that was the case I would have said my daughters father was David Cameron lol, do you understand where im coming from? Im not having a dig just trying to explain the facts.0
-
I came on here with a question and its turned into a witch hunt against me. I can c why forums like this get a bad rap cas all u get is the tables turned so I'm the bad guy. I wish I hadn't bothered. I'll ring the CAB and get answers from them
I did warn you... I came on here for an answer and got the same response...0 -
I'm not really up on the CSA rules but could she not prove paternity with the birth certificate.0
-
My ex is on my daughters birth certificate he still had to fill in a MEF form im certain this is protocol with CSA.0
-
If you apply for the Data Files the CSA have they cost a tenner but well worth getting it should state in them when the MEF form was sent ,if there was any communication with the NRP etc.....0
-
I'm guessing that's a confidential thing so he'll have to do that. I'm now starting to have doubts which I guess is why I got touchy. I will have to ask him to do that and c what response I get0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 354K Banking & Borrowing
- 254.3K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 455.3K Spending & Discounts
- 247.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 603.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 178.3K Life & Family
- 261.2K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards