problem with CSA

kizzy2010

No I don't work for my own reasons. My children r still young. Neither had the best start in life (and I don't mean financially) and one of them has special needs. I chose to not work until they were both in full time education. One is and my youngest is just starting her nursery year. But I shouldn't have to explain any of this. U have no clue about my partner or his ex and what crap she has already put him thru. I have never said he shouldn't support her or that he should put mine over his own daughter, who by the way he hasn't seen for 4 years, again due to crap thrown by his ex. I came on here with a question and its turned into a witch hunt against me. I can c why forums like this get a bad rap cas all u get is the tables turned so I'm the bad guy. I wish I hadn't bothered. I'll ring the CAB and get answers from them

Lady_gaga

kizzy2010 wrote: »

No I don't work for my own reasons. My children r still young. Neither had the best start in life (and I don't mean financially) and one of them has special needs. I chose to not work until they were both in full time education. One is and my youngest is just starting her nursery year. But I shouldn't have to explain any of this. U have no clue about my partner or his ex and what crap she has already put him thru. I have never said he shouldn't support her or that he should put mine over his own daughter, who by the way he hasn't seen for 4 years, again due to crap thrown by his ex. I came on here with a question and its turned into a witch hunt against me. I can c why forums like this get a bad rap cas all u get is the tables turned so I'm the bad guy. I wish I hadn't bothered. I'll ring the CAB and get answers from them

It's hardly a witch hunt for goodness sake, that's usually the response people give when they don't like what they're being told.
It doesn't matter what the relationship is like between your partner and his ex or if he hasn't gone to see his child in 4 years, the child still needs to eat and have clothes on her back.


I don't understand why any mother would grudge another child support fron their father. Perhaps you should sort out why your childrens father only pays a fiver in support to his kids instead of grudging his child the money he should be giving her.

clearingout

you have been given good advice as to what to do and look for regarding the assessment. it's a public forum - if you choose to make comments which can be perceived as you being perfectly content for your partner not to support his children then people will comment negatively. It doesn't matter how badly he's been treated or what he's been through, that's not his children's fault, is it? And if you're receiving £5 a week, that's £5 more than many of us here!

kizzy2010

And when did I say I was happy for him not to support his child. I didn't. I give up. U people just get on ur high horses and don't read what's in front of u

Fiver29

kizzy2010 wrote: »

I'm simply saying that it doesn't seem fair that my children suffer for the sake of his. Plus I'm only asking for an opinion on what I have been told. If ur here to judge me then please don't. U know nothing of my life or his or the relationship between my partner and his ex. I have not said that he shouldn't support his daughter I'm saying that there should be a middle ground where she gets what she's due and my children don't do without.

Why should his child suffer for the sake of yours? It works both ways.

fannyanna

kizzy2010 wrote: »

I'm simply saying that it doesn't seem fair that my children suffer for the sake of his. QUOTE]

I would be a lot more sympathetic if he was the Father of your two children but he's not.

You're basically suggesting the following:


Your OH's child

• Supported by his ex (biological Mum)
• Supported a bit by your OH (biological Dad)

Your two chidlren

• Supported by you (biological Mum)
• Supported by your ex (biological Dad)
• Supported a bit by your OH (Step parent)

You have to see that it's simply not fair.

cosmic-dust

kizzy2010 wrote: »

Also I'm in the middle of updating my housing benefit claim at the moment. I have been told to send in the details of the money he is paying to the CSA as it may mean I get more housing benefit as the claim is mine not his. Does anyone know if this is likely or not.

As you live together it's a joint claim, like all benefits are. Whoever told you the above are a tiny bit clueless.

I can't see you getting more housing benefit because he has to pay a priority debt. Sorry.

FBaby

kizzy2010 wrote: »

No I don't work for my own reasons. My children r still young. Neither had the best start in life (and I don't mean financially) and one of them has special needs. I chose to not work until they were both in full time education. One is and my youngest is just starting her nursery year. But I shouldn't have to explain any of this. U have no clue about my partner or his ex and what crap she has already put him thru. I have never said he shouldn't support her or that he should put mine over his own daughter, who by the way he hasn't seen for 4 years, again due to crap thrown by his ex. I came on here with a question and its turned into a witch hunt against me. I can c why forums like this get a bad rap cas all u get is the tables turned so I'm the bad guy. I wish I hadn't bothered. I'll ring the CAB and get answers from them

I thought that might be the case So your children are supported by neither their dad nor their mum but by a man who isn't properly supporting his own child.

When we met and moved in together we couldn't afford for him to continue paying these debts as I already had 2 children

So they had an arrangement but because you don't want to support your children and expect your partner to do so, their arrangement had to be broken. He continued to send some limited funds there and then, and he thought that was ok? You thought that was ok too because after all, he was supporting your children and that's all what was left over after that? Are you really surprised that she would have decided to go to the csa?

If you can't afford to pay what he's got to pay it is not the fault of the pwc but the result of your choice not to work to help support your own children. You will therefore struggle for a couple of years until the youngest is at school and you start working.

I'm really with the pwc on this one, I'm really glad for her that she finally got proper maintenance for her child.

kizzy2010

Yet another assumption. His ex is also in a new relationship so her child is in exactly the same position as mine r ie supported by mum dad and step dad.

fannyanna

kizzy2010 wrote: »

Yet another assumption. His ex is also in a new relationship so her child is in exactly the same position as mine r ie supported by mum dad and step dad.

Not an assumption. Just based on the facts made available.

Either way step parents should not be expected to financially support their partners child. As a step parent myself I know that reality dictates that in an indirect way you do provide financial support. However the point I'm trying to make is that a step parent should not HAVE to step in and in effect fill a void left by the biological parent.

It sounds like this is the case in the scenario you have outlined. Your ex doesn't provide enough child maintenance to financially support the two children you have together so your OH is expected to step up to the mark and support them (to the detriment of his own biological child).