problem with CSA

kizzy2010

He wasn't aware of the claim. He moved and as they weren't on speaking terms she didn't get his new address. He continued to pay and she still went to the CSA. He never had any letters from them until recently about these arrears

fannyanna

SuziQ wrote: »

'bitterness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die!'

Oooh I love this and it's very true.

Especially where the CSA is involved. You can't change the system but you can change your attitude towards the system - accept that's it's cr*p, there's no point moaning about it and just move on. That's what I try to do

FBaby

kizzy2010 wrote: »

And that is relevant how exactly lol. So I have an issue with judgemental people so what. I don't judge people without having all the facts like so many on here do. This has gone from a simple question to everything about me and my life criticised. Is it any wonder people get angry. A couple of people have been helpful and I will get him to look into his CSA file so thanks for that. Other than that I'm left feeling like I'm the one in the wrong thru all this. There r issues thru all of this going right back to the beginning of our relationship that I will not divulge on here. It has taken us 2 years to work thru these issues. I will say this much, when we moved in together I had no idea this child even existed. Hence the trust issues we've had to work thru. So u c when we met in my mind I was getting involved with a single man with no commitments. We still aren't over this deception but don't make this out to be my fault cas its not

People become judgemental when they read something that sits close to home. I am also a pwc who gets no maintenance from the nrp since he's been with his new partner who has two children and doesn't work... in my case I knew that she is putting a lot of pressure on him not to pay anything (with arguements as such as that me and my partner earn a good living and therefore I'm just being greedy). I'm fighting my own battle, deciding what to do because in the end, what matters most is my kids' happiness, but when I read posts like yours, where it is clearly stated that the pwc had to suddenly accept less money because the nrp has to support the children of his new partner who thinks she has a right to decide whether to work or not, it does upset me.

But of course, I am not in your shoes and don't know what is like, and don't know all the facts, that's why you have the choice amongst many to ignore my responses and move on.

kizzy2010

He doesn't have contact with the child no. Again another really messy story. She dragged him thru the courts accused of something he didn't do. He was found not guilty in court which is where the bitterness comes from on her part. She thought she could ruin his life because she didn't like being dumped. She couldn't do it that way so she used the CSA to do it

FBaby

kizzy2010 wrote: »

He wasn't aware of the claim. He moved and as they weren't on speaking terms she didn't get his new address. He continued to pay and she still went to the CSA. He never had any letters from them until recently about these arrears

She didn't know his parents' address either? You said he moved to his parents first. Surely when he then moved with you, his parents knew his new address?

Shermanator123

So your partner moved left no address or number?? What if something seriously bad happened to the child god forbid! How would anyone get in touch? Surely the PWC had his parents address (i noticed u stated he lived there a while) did the CSA not have that address I know myself if I had to get in touch with the ex I would try the parents house first maybe she did this with the CSA and he did recieve letters and like most people do bury their heads in the sand hoping it would go away????

clearingout

kizzy2010 wrote: »

And that is relevant how exactly lol. So I have an issue with judgemental people so what. I don't judge people without having all the facts like so many on here do. This has gone from a simple question to everything about me and my life criticised. Is it any wonder people get angry. A couple of people have been helpful and I will get him to look into his CSA file so thanks for that. Other than that I'm left feeling like I'm the one in the wrong thru all this. There r issues thru all of this going right back to the beginning of our relationship that I will not divulge on here. It has taken us 2 years to work thru these issues. I will say this much, when we moved in together I had no idea this child even existed. Hence the trust issues we've had to work thru. So u c when we met in my mind I was getting involved with a single man with no commitments. We still aren't over this deception but don't make this out to be my fault cas its not

so your children going without is relevant but my children going without and your partner's children going without isn't relevant?

You have not been judged. No one expects your children to go without and no one has suggested they should. We have told you how it works - and what to do if you don't like it! You could have asked the following:
- what do I need to do to get my partner's file from the CSA? how long will it take? what information will I find in it so that I know what I'm looking for?
- has anyone successfully challenged a situation like this? what is the process?
- what information will my partner need to get together to prove to the CSA that he went through a period of unemployment?
.....
and probably many other questions that would help the situation. Instead, you choose to argue and turn your situation into a sob story rather than take responsibility for the situation and move it forwards.
-

FBaby

kizzy2010 wrote: »

She thought she could ruin his life because she didn't like being dumped. She couldn't do it that way so she used the CSA to do it

Maybe (only a supposition), if he'd made arrangements with her to continue to pay half of the debts they owed together and to pay her what the csa would have assessed him at, she would never had bothered to call them?

Shermanator123

Sorry but he must of filled in a MEF form at some point for there to have been an assessment in the first place so he must have had contact with the CSA at some point, something doesnt add up here, and im not saying for one minute its down to you Kizzy, maybe you should ask your partner if he did have contact with the CSA at some point he may have forgot????

fannyanna

Shermanator123 wrote: »

Sorry but he must of filled in a MEF form at some point for there to have been an assessment in the first place so he must have had contact with the CSA at some point

No idea what a MEF form is but don't the CSA work out a figure (that is normally higher than what the liability should be) and start a DEO (or whatever it is) when dealing with non compliant NRP's?