Ever felt like the poor relation?

Any

aliasojo wrote: »

Resentful? Really? You get that from my comments?

Sorry, I also felt that you a bit too much into the idea that private schooling would have made a difference.. to you or others...
Sometimes things come across wrong when just on screen...

aliasojo

euronorris wrote: »

Yes, in your opening post, you end with 'I'm sat here wishing I could magic myself back to Primary 7'.

Apologies if I misunderstood, but that gave me the impression that you are resentful of the fact that your private education stopped there.

No, I'm annoyed that I stopped trying. Nothing to do with anything else.

euronorris

aliasojo wrote: »

No, I'm annoyed that I stopped trying. Nothing to do with anything else.

That's fair enough, it just wasn't clear from the way first post ended.

But I know now, so no issues.

aliasojo

Any wrote: »

Sorry, I also felt that you a bit too much into the idea that private schooling would have made a difference.. to you or others...
Sometimes things come across wrong when just on screen...

Fair enough. I thought I was just throwing the notion up for discussion which is why I couldn't understand why the thread had turned so personal.

Take on board I could perhaps have worded things better.

Lunar_Eclipse

aliasojo wrote: »

Do you think people achieve more if they are surrounded by higher standards?:(

YES, generally speaking of course they do. However, I wouldn't say that private schools have higher expectations of their pupils than state schools do, but that some schools have higher expectations than others. For example, the top 100 schools in the country, as ranked by exam results (contentious to link the two I know!) will have high expectations in general, for their students, regardless of what type of school it is. Many will we private schools, but our local state school is far better than most of the private schools around here (in terms of exam results, university destinations, pupil behaviour etc) which is why I detest generalisations about private vs state schools. Grammar schools are usually brilliant environments and there is no way I'd send either of my kids to an average private school. The difference between schools, regardless of who pays the fees, is actually quite unbelievable; I was gobsmacked at the variations when looking at secondary schools.

Interestingly, there have been numerous studies in this area and I clearly recall reading that a mother's expectations of her children is the biggest single influencer in their success & achievements in life. Far more so than the fathers', private schoolling, wealth or anything else, according to study results I have read.

Also, everyone is generally a product of their environment and yes, I feel like the poor relation now that we have gone down the private school route for our children so have less than zero disposable income whilst the rest of my relatives carry on enjoying meals out and holidays!

euronorris

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Interestingly, there have been numerous studies in this area and I clearly recall reading that a mother's expectations of her children is the biggest single influencer in their success & achievements in life. Far more so than the fathers', private schoolling, wealth or anything else, according to study results I have read.

Also, everyone is generally a product of their environment and yes, I feel like the poor relation now that we have gone down the private school route for our children so have less than zero disposable income whilst the rest of my relatives carry on enjoying meals out and holidays!

That's interesting. Can you remember the name of the study or provide links?

I'd be willing to bet that some people view you as rich because you are sending the kids to school, unaware of the sacrafices you are making.

Lunar_Eclipse

euronorris wrote: »

That's interesting. Can you remember the name of the study or provide links?

I'd be willing to bet that some people view you as rich because you are sending the kids to school, unaware of the sacrafices you are making.

I can't, but I'll try to have a look later. It was covered in the news years ago and my mum called me to let me know!

Of course some people will view us as rich and by global standards we are. However, most people in our financial situation would say they couldn't afford it, whereas I am determined (or foolish) to make it work. I couldn't give two hoots about keeping up with the Joneses and am actually quite disgusted by the size of homes and money 'wasted' by some at my daughter's school. It's definitely making me 'want' less, if that's at all possible. Still, I'm trying to tell myself it's worth it for the school, but I wish it was a fee free more down to earth Grammar.

balletshoes

wasn't the mothers expectations/influence over the child's education mentioned in the "child of our time" series on TV? I'm sure thats where I remember seeing it.

dirtysexymonkey

Person_one wrote: »

In my opinion, if less people were 'driven' to acquire huge amounts of money and were happy with enough to be comfortable with occasional small luxuries, then the world would be a much nicer place.

Having a huge desire to be wealthy is not really a good thing, is it? Better to try and encourage your children to want to do something useful with their lives and that money is not the be all and end all.

There is a millionaire in my family by the way, he's miserable, I'm sure I'm much happier on NMW.

from your posts you dont strike me as a very happy person so you must hide your happiness well.

CH27

balletshoes wrote: »

wasn't the mothers expectations/influence over the child's education mentioned in the "child of our time" series on TV? I'm sure thats where I remember seeing it.

I pretty sure it was.