Ever felt like the poor relation?

aliasojo

I've just found out that two of my cousins are multi millionaires.

I knew one of them was but I was shocked to find out another one was too. They are from different arms of the family but both on my Mum's side.

They both went to private schools right up until uni age and mixed with a certain circle, a certain type of person.

I can't help but feel that's relevant. They are products of their environment if you like.

I went to a private primary school but secondary was a comprehensive and that's when I started losing interest and going downhill. It was more fun watching the bad lads in the class shutting the teacher in the cupboard than it was paying attention to my work.

I wonder if I'm a product of my environment too. :think: Do you think people achieve more if they are surrounded by higher standards?

Obviously there will be exceptions and people will have tales of 'whoever' who pulled himself up from nothing etc, etc but this is more of a 'general' thought.

I'm sat here wishing I could magic myself back to Primary 7.

zcrat41

I was always taught:

Don't scratch with the turkeys if you want to fly with the eagles!

BTW - are you sure they're multi - millionaires. Our family look rich on paper and yes we have big assets but I earn less than half of what most of my friends do in cash terms. Also, how do you know it's not all on credit cards/loaned from the bank?!

BitterAndTwisted

Dunno about the higher standards but I'm sure that people achieve more when others have high expectations of them. Still, success and a person's real worth aren't measured by money.

aliasojo

zcrat41 wrote: »

I was always taught:

Don't scratch with the turkeys if you want to fly with the eagles!

BTW - are you sure they're multi - millionaires. Our family look rich on paper and yes we have big assets but I earn less than half of what most of my friends do in cash terms. Also, how do you know it's not all on credit cards/loaned from the bank?!

No, they genuinely are. One owns a big company in Scotland and the other has several very successful business interests.

I like that quote. I'm going to print it out and paste it over my daughter's bed so it's the last thing she sees at night and the first thing she sees in the morning.

aliasojo

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Still, success and a person's real worth aren't measured by money.

Perhaps not, but the fact someone has that much money suggests capability and success.

(Unless of course they won it on the lottery. )

balletshoes

fwiw I do believe in the old school tie, its not what you know its who you know, etc etc etc.

However, I'm a child of working-class parents, I'm working class, so is my OH. We're not millionaires and to be honest I don't aspire to be - maybe thats the difference - enough money is enough for me, I don't need to shoot for the financial stars.

166million

alias jojo, I'd suggest you could do some research on millionaires who have started out poor and become successful through hard work and determination. That way you'd be cancelling out the negative ideas of predetermined privilege with some positive stories. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Gardner

balletshoes

aliasojo wrote: »

Perhaps not, but the fact someone has that much money suggests capability and success.

(Unless of course they won it on the lottery. )

see to me it doesn't suggest that. My BIL is capable, successful, has more money/assets than me, but isn't anywhere near a millionaire.

the people that I know who are millionaires (in assets anyway) are the ones who took big financial risks (and like Alan Sugar, have been broke and bankrupt along the way).

euronorris

aliasojo wrote: »

Perhaps not, but the fact someone has that much money suggests capability and success.

(Unless of course they won it on the lottery. )

It suggests that they were fortunate enough to have a first class education, a stable home (I'm assuming), and the best opportunities in life.

Hell, it could be inheritance also. Or money gifted by the parents, a lottery win (like you say), or just being lucky. The company may have even been given to them.

I wouldn't waste time comparing yourself, especially not only in one focused area, it'll only upset you. Instead, consider if you want to be more like them, and if so what you can do to acheive that.

Would having that much money make you happy? Even if it meant working every available hour and no longer seeing friends or family for a good few years, possibly longer?

efrieze

I think that the system in which you are educated makes you have a certain attitude towards achievement and success - this is why it is so hard to get the education of our children correct. Everyone's 'correct' is different, mind.

And I know what you mean about comparing with what other people have. I used to say that whatever other peopl ehave in their pockets doesn't affect what i have got in mine but human instinct is to compare and try to understand (if possible) what they are doing 'better' than go to be 'better off' etc.

Person_one

Its pretty obvious that there's a bit of a 'network' among people who went to certain private schools, and that money can buy you opportunities (look at how many rich kids do unpaid internships at top companies while their poorer peers have to get !!!! jobs to pay the rent). We certainly do not yet have equality of opportunity in this country or anything even remotely resembling a classless society.

However, there is absolutely no guarantee that if you and your cousins had had the same education you'd be in the same position now, for better or worse. Private education is not necessarily better, plenty of kids are capable of going through comps without slacking off as you did.

Please don't hang that quote on your daughter's wall. I can't think of a better way to turn her into a self isolating snob.