MSE Pregnancy Club 23

Blue_Monkey

Just a little rant girls...

When I first told my mum I was pregnant she said to me "Ooh, I must tell you this - all through your pregnancy and life as a mother, people will tell you what will happen, how you'll feel, what you should do and I feel it's my duty to remind you that only you know how you feel and what is best for yourself and the baby"...

Ironically, the only person who has told me what will happen and told me how I will feel and what I should do is her.

It's driving me mad. She's ramming so much down my neck that it's making me back off at a million paces and not want to discuss things with her at all. Ordinarily if it was someone else, I'd find a way of saying something, but my mum is ultra-sensitive and everything is about her so I know that if I say anything it will all blow up and I'll be the baddie. In all honesty, her overbearing is one of the main things I'm anxious about when the baby is here. I don't begrudge her being excited and being keen but sometimes the way she goes on, you'd think it's her baby and her right to give me her view/advice/opinion on everything when I've only made a comment in passing. It's all "I know best" and making me feel claustrophobic.

I'm biting my tongue a lot but just had to have a little vent....

Kira000

Oh dear.. just back from my m/w appointment. BP fine. Wee wee tests fine. Measurements......she had a feel and measured me at 38 weeks:eek: it was only my 34 week appointment!!!

However she hasnt recommended any course of action as my growth scan 2.5 weeks ago was within normal ranges, so i assume she isnt worried. Got to book in for 36 weeks, 38 weeks and 40 weeks.

*Ro*

Emmylou - so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law - tc xx

Lucy1973 wrote: »

Is it too early to nest? Just blitzed son's room,now debating whether to clean the windows and put the Christmas tree up:eek::rotfl:

......... been nesting on and off for weeks but everytime we tidy up sort things out I mess it up again!!!

The windows have been wiped so many times, the vax has been out washing the carpets, stuff keeps getting moved round, new silicone round the sink, still keep trying to get tiles clean in bathroom but it kills me !, today I cleaned the kitchen, washed the kitchen and bathroom floor, done loads of washing even though we are struggling to dry it!!
As for the tree not sure when as thinking its going to have to go inside bubs playpen as otherwise dylan is going to eat the decorations :eek::rotfl::rotfl:

Ro xx

yummymummy79

Just to throw my two penneth in, I found breastfeeding really easy with DS, he just took to it straight away, no latching problems, no afterpains or any other pain for that matter, just got on with it with no problems. Lasted 6 months until I went back to work, had mastitis once but that wasn't a big issue either. He had boob, bottles and dummies all at the same time with no issues either. Obviously I was one of the lucky ones but it's nice to know that it can be easy and nice and doesn't always involve horror stories.

jenjade

hey peeps,

Been to a mate this morning which was lovely. i like maternity leave i wish i had more energy though! So much to do and running out of time.

As for breastfeeding i was 21 years old when i had DD1 and the thought to breastfeeeding freaked me out a bit. I read a bit about it and it sounded like the best thing for my baby so i agreed to TRY and give baby the first feed but made it very clear if things got painful then i was going to stop. I breastfeed her for 9 month with no cracked nipples, or pain of any kind.

My advice is to give it a go. You never know it might go well. It tends to be people that pin there hopes on breastfeeding that get very stressed about it and it doesnt go well for them. I think each to their own. midwife asked me if i was intending on breastfeeding and i responded the same as when i was 21 i will try it and go from there

jenjade

Kira000 wrote: »

Oh dear.. just back from my m/w appointment. BP fine. Wee wee tests fine. Measurements......she had a feel and measured me at 38 weeks:eek: it was only my 34 week appointment!!!

However she hasnt recommended any course of action as my growth scan 2.5 weeks ago was within normal ranges, so i assume she isnt worried. Got to book in for 36 weeks, 38 weeks and 40 weeks.

it could be the position of the baby causing the big measurements i have measured big all along but now baby has moved i am wondering if my measurements will be more expectable! Try not to worry they sound like that are going to keep an eye on it

ginvzt

Blue_Monkey wrote: »

It's driving me mad. She's ramming so much down my neck that it's making me back off at a million paces and not want to discuss things with her at all. Ordinarily if it was someone else, I'd find a way of saying something, but my mum is ultra-sensitive and everything is about her so I know that if I say anything it will all blow up and I'll be the baddie. In all honesty, her overbearing is one of the main things I'm anxious about when the baby is here. I don't begrudge her being excited and being keen but sometimes the way she goes on, you'd think it's her baby and her right to give me her view/advice/opinion on everything when I've only made a comment in passing. It's all "I know best" and making me feel claustrophobic.

I'm biting my tongue a lot but just had to have a little vent....

You don't have my mum as your mum, do you? Mine starts crying if you say anything against the way she wants. You would think she is a 5 year old and has to have everything her own way! I am dreading when she comes to visit the baby (ant that is only next summer!!!!). She has been teacher for 30+ years, and vice-headmaster for probably 20, so it is all her way or no way.

An of course, since she had 3 children, she know everything. Like giving semolina to a newborn (that is what I got when my mum didn't have enough milk to breastfeed). Or using alcohol to rub babies aching gums (well, they all used to do that, and they all are fine now, so what is the problem). Or giving any food to the toddlers without asking mums (maybe they are allergic/can't tolerate, etc - learnt this from friends visiting my parents house).

Kira000

jenjade wrote: »

it could be the position of the baby causing the big measurements i have measured big all along but now baby has moved i am wondering if my measurements will be more expectable! Try not to worry they sound like that are going to keep an eye on it

Hmm.. well she wasnt entirely convincing from my perspective- despite having a very long poke and prod, she said she couldnt really tell how the baby was lying. I dont think she has moved much- i'm getting the same types of movement that i got when i had my growth scan, and my previous M/w appointment. Little grabby hand movements down very low, and big kicky movements around and over my belly button. Plus my belly is still quite soft, no sign of bums or backs, so i reckon she is still head down, lying on her side.
I think she is struggling a bit with the out of area hospital thing, so didnt want to have to refer me back for a growth scan there. Step mum and mum are now both convinced i'm going to pop early.. If i am 3 weeks bigger, i blimmin' hope so!

Icey77

emmylou83 wrote: »

Hospital bag...i`ve always packed mine by 26 weeks before, but htis time, with Xmas coming up, I just cant seem to get motivated for for anything else!

Packed your hospital bag by 26 weeks???!!!???:eek:
Crap, I'd better get myself sorted, I reach 26 weeks on saturday!
I'll try to find the list again of what I need to take.

Blue_Monkey

ginvzt wrote: »

You don't have my mum as your mum, do you? Mine starts crying if you say anything against the way she wants. You would think she is a 5 year old and has to have everything her own way! I am dreading when she comes to visit the baby (ant that is only next summer!!!!). She has been teacher for 30+ years, and vice-headmaster for probably 20, so it is all her way or no way.

An of course, since she had 3 children, she know everything. Like giving semolina to a newborn (that is what I got when my mum didn't have enough milk to breastfeed). Or using alcohol to rub babies aching gums (well, they all used to do that, and they all are fine now, so what is the problem). Or giving any food to the toddlers without asking mums (maybe they are allergic/can't tolerate, etc - learnt this from friends visiting my parents house).

She asked me on 2 separate occasions if we'd like her at the birth and I said no both times. Then the other week she told me she wanted to be there desperately. I said it was still a "no". So it wasn't about her offering her support, it was about what she wanted.

When we were telling other friends and family about being pregnant, I'd emailed my stepsisters to tell them and the next time I spoke to mum she sounded all disappointed and said "I spoke to X and Y and they already bloody knew"...

She came round the other day with my stepdad who hadn't seen our new place yet. OH said to stepdad "do you want a tour?" and he said "I can see you're busy getting ready, so show me after you've showered" (we were all going out) and then mum jumped up and was like "this is the lounge, this is the baby stuff and most importantly here is the picture I painted for them" (and it is a lovely painting, but irritating that she took over and made it about her).

I read through this website http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/ some time back and some parts are so so true. Saying that, a lot of it doesn't apply and I feel awful even writing this, but I find it really hard to deal with sometimes... Everyone else is just leaving us to get on with it all, why can't she? It also worries me a bit that I'll be like this with my kids.

I'm a bit anxious that when the baby is here, our idea of her being around and helping is going to be a much smaller version of what she's expecting. I'm sure part of this is that her own mother showed no interest at all in helping my mum when she had babies, and she felt really isolated, so she's keen to ensure I don't feel the same... But it's gone from one extreme to the other