Giving birth alone? Doula?

Emmzi

I have a friend who is a Doula and she is the calmest, kindest person I know. And has been through a lot of births! Worth thinking about if it is your first one and you think you'll be nervous. As long as you find someone you are "sympatico" with I think it's a good option. Also doulas in training can be cheaper and if you are going to hospital rather than home birth this may be a good compromise.

rachbc

Doulas are a few hundred rather than 1000's. i considered training as a doula and afrined has had one at 2 of her 3 births and really recommends it

Ravenlady_2

darlyd wrote: »

I would rather do it on my own than pay a complete stranger too, the midwife will be there with you. .... Do you know anyone's granny? Can you grab a granny from the hospital to come in with ya? Far fetched I know but ya never know :-)- ...

I know you said SIL is due around the same time, but I am sure she and MIL will be there to support you too, or if SIL baby is born then at least MIL OR SIL could be there. Have you actually asked them?

good luck anyway...

MIL and SIL live closer to each over than they do to me, MIL also has to fly over or take the ferry. not ideal logistics.

Nicki

How old is your other child? If there is no school in play, how would your MIL feel if you moved in with her temporarily just before your baby is due? Then she could help look after the older one in the last few days before the birth, your FIL could babysit while you are giving birth, and your MIL could come to the hospital with you. It's probably unlikely that you and your SIL will labour and deliver at exactly the same time even if you are due on the same day. It would mean giving birth in a different hospital to the one you have planned of course but at least you wouldn't be doing it on your own.

Ravenlady_2

Nicki wrote: »

How old is your other child? If there is no school in play, how would your MIL feel if you moved in with her temporarily just before your baby is due? Then she could help look after the older one in the last few days before the birth, your FIL could babysit while you are giving birth, and your MIL could come to the hospital with you. It's probably unlikely that you and your SIL will labour and deliver at exactly the same time even if you are due on the same day. It would mean giving birth in a different hospital to the one you have planned of course but at least you wouldn't be doing it on your own.

Thats no possible, MIL lives on an small island. Fil passed away 5 years ago, Births are only allowed on the island if the sea rescue is on standby and a 2nd midwife has to be flown over, its been years since they allowed one though. My children will be going to my mums

Going to SIL's is also not an option as there is no room, I wouldn't want to leave my home or other children

peachyprice

You've got 5 months to find and get to know a doula, so she won't be a complete stranger by the time you give birth, go for it!

building_with_lego

You could also get in touch with your local NCT- often you'll find that the Antenatal teachers are (or know) doulas. Or you may just make a really good friend....

carefullycautious

I had my second child on my own, hubby had to stay at home looking after first child. In fact I found it better not having someone there

aloise

why do you have to have someone there. As long as the midwife is there and doctors around that is all you need. This is a fairly new thing, years ago we only had medile staff and at home only the midwife. my daughter is a doula in Canada, but has no training, so i can't understand what they are for.

Nicki

aloise wrote: »

why do you have to have someone there. As long as the midwife is there and doctors around that is all you need. This is a fairly new thing, years ago we only had medile staff and at home only the midwife. my daughter is a doula in Canada, but has no training, so i can't understand what they are for.

Because giving birth is a scary thing and the midwife is not there for the whole of labour. She is usually looking after more than one woman at a time in early stages, so will be in and out checking on you, and can at times be gone for an hour or more delivering someone else's baby. Which is hard if you are on your own coping with contractions, and even harder if you need sudden help and have to cope with summoning that on your own.

At least that has been my experience, even giving birth in a private hospital with much higher staff patient ratios. Maybe the NHS now offers full time 1:1 midwife support from 3cm dilated but I somehow doubt it