Have I been unfair?

Bluebell1000

I don't think you're being unreasonable either. It sounds like quite a trek for you to go over there every day. Our cat is super-aggressive to other cats, so there's no way we could put her in a cattery. Our way of dealing with it is we either take her to stay with a relative, who doesn't have a cat but is happy to cat-sit in their own home, or we have a back-up plan of using a pet sitting company who will come in for an hour (or as long as you're prepared to pay them for) to give the cat some company and attention as well as food. While that does cost a bit, in the grand scheme of things compared to the cost of a holiday for us, it's not bad at all!

Perhaps you could suggest a pet sitter to your friend? Cats Protection or other animal charities can usually recommend one that's good.

gratefulforhelp_2

You are not being unreasonable at all. While it's ok for her to ask, it's not ok for her to get the hump when you say no.

Good luck with the birth. x

balletshoes

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

You are not being unreasonable at all. While it's ok for her to ask, it's not ok for her to get the hump when you say no.

Good luck with the birth. x

absolutely .

PolishBigSpender

Can't you just tell her you will do it unless you have to go to hospital to give birth? I'm sure any sensible person will understand that you can't possible feed the cat while in labour

Steel_2

I think your friend is being unreasonable.

How often do you get to give birth? It's a massive life-changing event and she doesn't seem to be appreciating this? Does she have children? Have she ever been pregnant?

I don't and haven't, but even I know not to automatically assume that it's ok to put extra tasks or burdens on the shoulders of a pregnant woman. Between hormones, emotions, fast body shape changes and all the physical problems that often go with it, it's not fair to assume it is business as usual.

You should be concentrating on conserving your energy for one of the biggest and happiest events of your life, not worrying about traipsing across town to feed someone's stray blimmin' cat.

You'll be large, uncomfortable and restless, probably wanting to nest and sort your home out. Not that your friend actually gives a toss how you feel as long as that cat is fed.

Spend the last few days of your pregnancy with your husband and with your feet up.

And if she really can't understand what kind of large task this is for you - indeed how large any task would be for you when heavily pregnant - sod her. She's no friend.

I love my three fish-faced furballs, but they wouldn't come before a friend and her unborn child. If I had no help to look after mine, I'd pay for a cattery. And I certainly wouldn't make a friend feel bad about it.

mummyoftwomonkeys

1.It is highly unlikely that you will go into labour on your due date, My 2nd son was 10 days late, if your husband has had to book his leave in advance you may be disappointed.

2. if the cat eats dry food then stick a big bowl down and a big bowl of water and it will be fine

problem solved

Nicki

mummyoftwomonkeys wrote: »

1.It is highly unlikely that you will go into labour on your due date, My 2nd son was 10 days late, if your husband has had to book his leave in advance you may be disappointed.

2. if the cat eats dry food then stick a big bowl down and a big bowl of water and it will be fine

problem solved

I have 3. First was 7 days before the due date, second 10 days, third 8 days. It's not an exact science but I have always been told by my obstetrician the most likely time is in the 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after the due date. OP's week on duty is slap bang in this period. Its not unreasonable for her to be thinking of what would happen should the baby arrive then, as it is very likely to do. It's just unfair of people to say she is making a fuss because THEY went overdue with their first child. Not everyone does, and if they did due dates would have been recalculated years ago to take that into account.

leandygandy

Hi all.

Just to let you know I have spoken to my friend further today and all is sorted.

The first friend is going to be number one cat feeder, I will be number two on days she cannot do it, and if I am unable to do it then her mum will be third backup.

I NEVER said I wouldn't do it, only that I needed my friend to have a third backup just in case the baby decided to come as I didn't want the cat neglected if this were to happen.

Friend has said she was a little stressed out when she called me and took what I was saying the wrong way, hence her frustration.

Nothing to worry about here though, all bases have been covered so now she can enjoy her pre-holiday prep!

euronorris

January20 wrote: »

Personally, and I know I'm going to be flamed down for this, but hey that's what I think, pregnant or not (and I have been pregnant), I would have agreed to feed the cat for the sake of my friend, unless I was house or bed bound, unless I didn't have a partner who could go and put lots of food and water down as someone else suggested should the baby be born unexpectedly. But that's me. And you are allowed to say no to your friend.


I don't think you should ask your friend to feed your cats anymore when you go away though.

Personally, I think it's a bit cheeky to be asking a heavily pregnant friend to look after your cat at all. It's certainly not something I would do, regardless of whether or not I had fed their cat(s) in the past.

I'm not sure why you would want to ask someone, who's due to go into labour very, very soon, to feed your cat(s) anyway. Surely it would be better to ask someone who isn't likely to be unavailable? Said friend must have more than 2 people they can call on. Other friends, family members, or even a trustworthy neighbour?

shellsuit

mummyoftwomonkeys wrote: »

1.It is highly unlikely that you will go into labour on your due date, My 2nd son was 10 days late, if your husband has had to book his leave in advance you may be disappointed.

2. if the cat eats dry food then stick a big bowl down and a big bowl of water and it will be fine

problem solved

I've got 3 children.

1 - 2 weeks late

2 - 1 day early

3 - bang on due date

Paternity leave can't start before the day of birth anyway.