Have I been unfair?

leandygandy

My best friend goes on holiday on Sunday for a week.

I am due to give birth 26th September.

She called today to ask me if I would feed a stray cat they seem to have adopted while they are away. Ordinarily this would be no problem at all but I am a bit concerned about what should happen if I go into labour while she is away. Not sure if I will be able to commit to feeding the cat.

I am to be the backup for another friend of hers (who I don't know) who has said she may be able to feed the cat some days but not necessarily everyday. My concern is that said friend will not feed the cat as promised and I may not be in a position to do so either - who will let the cat in/out and feed it then?

When I put thisto my friend she said 'well there isn't anyone else to do it' and I think she is a bit cross with me. She suggested paying 'a fortune' to put the cat in a cattery but I can't see one taking her as my friend doesnt know if the cat is neutered/had jabs etc.?

I feel really awful as my friend has always been there to feed our cats when we go away, she's a fabulous friend and I couldn't ask for more, and the one time she needs me and I can't necessarily commit....

Am I being unfair?

whitewing

You are being more than sensible. Don't give in.

*max*

I don't think you're being unfair! She asked, you said you couldn't do it and gave a reason why, she should leave it at that instead of making you feel guilty about it. This cat isn't your responsibility, it's hers. Plus, it's a stray cat, you don't know if he's been jabbed, or if he's sociable/ docile.. what about the risks to you and your baby should you get scratched or bitten? You never know. I would tell her you are really sorry, but you are not in a position to help her on this one occasion and stick to your guns.

halibut2209

Just after your friend leaves, go there and put out a ****load of food and water

Cats are very resilient and can easily sort themselves out for a few days or a week.

And I've just read that it's not even their cat!!!!

Advice stands

moomoomama27

When are they going away?

Do you have a partner?

CDC2011

You are not being unfair at all...it was their decision to have a pet and therefore their responsibility to find care for it when they are away...even if that means paying for suitable care.

You haven't mentioned whether you will need to clean out a litter tray as well as feed the cat? I think litter and obviously the contents can present a risk to pregnant women so I would refuse on this basis too.

A cattery is highly unlikely to take the cat if it hasn't had its jabs done as this is usually a requirement.

Don't feel guilty - her pet, her problem. (And thats coming from a cat owner)

leandygandy

moomoomama27 wrote: »

When are they going away?

Do you have a partner?

Thanks everyone for the replies.

They go away on Sunday and return on my due date.

I have my husband who could go and feed the cat and let it in and out, but I can't see him being happy to do it if it means leaving me and his newborn child - that's not what his paternity leave is for! He'd have to travel across town so it could mean being away from us for anything between half an hour and an hour depending on traffic. Not sure I'd want to accompany him either, you just don't know what my physical state may be if I've had a difficult birth, for example.

Of course, I could go overdue - in which case it's a moot point and I could do it myself anyway...

January20

Personally, and I know I'm going to be flamed down for this, but hey that's what I think, pregnant or not (and I have been pregnant), I would have agreed to feed the cat for the sake of my friend, unless I was house or bed bound, unless I didn't have a partner who could go and put lots of food and water down as someone else suggested should the baby be born unexpectedly. But that's me. And you are allowed to say no to your friend.


I don't think you should ask your friend to feed your cats anymore when you go away though.

moomoomama27

leandygandy wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the replies.

They go away on Sunday and return on my due date.

I have my husband who could go and feed the cat and let it in and out, but I can't see him being happy to do it if it means leaving me and his newborn child - that's not what his paternity leave is for! He'd have to travel across town so it could mean being away from us for anything between half an hour and an hour depending on traffic. Not sure I'd want to accompany him either, you just don't know what my physical state may be if I've had a difficult birth, for example.

Of course, I could go overdue - in which case it's a moot point and I could do it myself anyway...

Maybe you could say you'd do it but make them aware that it could be something you may not be able to do everyday? How does your husband feel about every other day?

I think if you are close and they've helped you out you could offer as much as you are able to, and within reason?

Is tere anyway you could rota with the other person?

leandygandy

CDC2011 wrote: »

You are not being unfair at all...it was their decision to have a pet and therefore their responsibility to find care for it when they are away...even if that means paying for suitable care.

You haven't mentioned whether you will need to clean out a litter tray as well as feed the cat? I think litter and obviously the contents can present a risk to pregnant women so I would refuse on this basis too.

A cattery is highly unlikely to take the cat if it hasn't had its jabs done as this is usually a requirement.

Don't feel guilty - her pet, her problem. (And thats coming from a cat owner)

Yes there would be a litter tray, although it wouldn't bother me to empty it, I'd just be super careful - wear gloves and clean my hands thoroughly etc. Although seeing as I have refused to do it at home and made my husband do it throughout my pregnancy, he might be a bit miffed haha!

moomoomama27

CDC2011 wrote: »

You haven't mentioned whether you will need to clean out a litter tray as well as feed the cat? I think litter and obviously the contents can present a risk to pregnant women so I would refuse on this basis too.

The OP has a cat(s), so one would presume the risks are known and eliminated?