cant cope with 3yr old daughter please help!

mummyplus3

I'm really struggling with my daughter recently and I just don't know how to cope with her right now!

She's started wetting herself and pooing herself, not wiping herself again everyday and its not just a one off its a few times a day, I've tried telling her off, not making a big deal about it, putting her back in nappies, being nice about it.

She's also started throwing these horrendous tantrums screaming and shouting and just screaming over ridiculas things making everything so much bigger than it is, its really embarressing and causing other parents to comment.

I just do not no what to do anymore i'm dreading her getting up in the mornings and starting another day she goes to bed throwing a huge tantrum and starts the day the same I cannot go on like this

Any advice would be amazing

CH27

Has anything changed in her routine?
Are you stressed about something & she is picking up your tension?

Ravenlady_2

To be honest she sound like a normal stroppy toddler, when did she turn 3?

My 5year old can only just reach to wipe himself properly.

rachelhen

It sounds as though she is trying to communicate distress about something. Have a good think what may have happened in her life any changes etc it does sound as though she is majorly upset about something it won't be a deliberate attempt to be naughty. I hope you manage to sort it out for both your sakes xx

mummyplus3

We've moved recently and I know thats been stressful I just know how to make it any better, I am trying to be positive and cuddles and telling her I love her and I like it when she's happy etc.. trying to find out whats wrong but nothing is helping I don't know what I am doing wrong....

She playing outside with her friends in their gardens and as soon as someone wants a turn on the toys or does something she doesnt like she throws a massive tantrum, I've tried all sorts to deal with it but nothing seems to help, Some of the children dont want to play with her know because she just screams & cries all the time.

She is 4 in December, she's always been overly sensitive and thrown wobblers for no reason but its just getting surreal now.

Bumpmakesfour

Two of mine could be so difficult at 3..I never got why they call it the terrible twos because three was sooo much worse with mine!
xx

pigpen

I found 3 much more demanding than 2 too.. with all of them!

If she starts with a tantrums while out.. take her straight home.. before you go out tell her what will happen and carry it through... that includes playing next door!

If she tantrums at home ignore her.. walk away.. dont give her any attention at all.. if she follows you screeching.. sit her back in annother room without a word and walk away again.. you may have to do it 1000 times but she WILL get the message.

Tantrums are a perfecty normal developmental stage.. from maybe 18 months give or take up to whenever they are outgrown.. my oldest daughter was about 8, my 15 y/o son still has the occasional hissy fit.. My 9 year old was probably about 5 or 6 last time she had a full on tantrum.. she strops now instead.

The soiling I would probably be more concerned about.. that would say to me she was unhappy about something.. very unhappy.. has anything big happened recently? a break up, a death, a change of school or house? A friend from nursery left or bullying.. I would give her the things (baby wipes and clean clothes) to change herself and have her put her dirty things in the washing machine... and not do it for her but I would be looking for changes in her life.. not necessarily in yours either!

moving house sent my 2 boys over the edge into lunacy for about a year.. they were 9 and 6 and still couldnt cope! They settled eventually..

onlyroz

Sounds like she's unsettled about the recent move. I remember my son going through a nightmare phase when he was three, because I was pregnant with his sister, and I'd moved him into a different bedroom.

Have you tried a reward chart? E.g. she gets a star for each good day and them gets a big treat for reaching five stars? And then small treats for whenever she uses the potty or toilet correctly.

missyp123

My little girl was at her worst at the age of 3.

She would throw tantrum in public and potty training was a nightmare.

I think the house move could have had an effect if things were fine before the move? like others have said is there anything else it could be?

What i would say is that you have mentioned different techniques of how you have tried to deal with her behaivour, but maybe try sticking with one for a longer period...if you give up to soon she will get mixed messages.

mummyplus3

I usually send her upstairs to sit on her bed when she tantrums to calm down, I dont give attention to tantrums.

She's got toddler wipes for going to the loo she just deliberatly doesnt go?! doesnt wipe etc...

Changes in her life recently:

Moved house
New bedroom
New Nursery (first day there today but just like old nursery she threw a fit and didnt want to come home)
Me going to college (started last week)
Moved away from Nanny, Grandad & Aunties
Night time routine abit out of whack recently but we have a better morning routine now than the old place


The worst thing is when I try to get her to come home she sounds like she's being murdered she hates coming home it's horrible. She always been like it but she's really bad now I just don't understand it, she's loved and cared for she's not abused or anything but she just hates coming back

On the flip side she is very caring and loving it's like jeckyl and hide!

onlyroz

Oh and, like Pigpen, I make my daughter carry her soiled clothing to the wash basket.