My ex smokes in front of my daughters...advice?

halibut2209

As I said, it's not just this thread, and I agree this is by far one of the milder ones.

My "irritation" is not about the content of this thread at all, but the broader issue I outlined in my first post.

As for this thread, I agree with the earlier poster who said that all you can do is ask him. If he refuses, I would consider it very poor form to try and prevent his children staying over.

MariaKaria

Thank you puddy, it was banter with another member, you have understood exactly where I am coming from and have realised that I am certainly not " a man/father hating shrew" (unlike other members), all I'm trying to do is make sure that my children are growing up in a healthy, safe environment.

Acc72

puddy wrote: »

where do you get the impression that she wants the children to stop seeing him? i thought she wanted the children to see him in a healthy smoke free environment

Please re-read the OP (I copied the relevant comments in my thread).

The OP states "do I have the right to stop them staying with him?"

Caroline73_2

I was only discussing with my husband yesterday that I'm surprised there are so many fit and healthy people in their 30's and older. When I was a child in the 70's, everyone smoked, we sat in smoked filled rooms all the time.

Bumpmakesfour

OP I totally agree with you...I wouldn't want my kids to be in an enclosed space like his flat filled with smoke either.People can tell me it's legal,I can't stop it blah blah but actually as long as my kids are in my care yes I can.They don't go to places where people smoke full stop..anyone has a problem with that it's tough tbh.One of m kids has chronic lung disease but still we have to remind certain family members not to smoke around her.
I absolutely hate adults smoking around kids.It is so damn selfish and irresponsible:mad::mad::mad:
Sending hugs because that's a hard situation to be in.Shame your ex can't see the health risks he's imposing on his kiddies

MariaKaria

Acc72......

I would never try to stop him seeing the girls altoghether, when I say stop him having them to stay I mean them not sleeping over there, he is more than welcome to collect them as usual and take them out for the day(s) as he normally would but then bring them home on the evening.[/QUOTE]

puddy

Acc72 wrote: »

Please re-read the OP (I copied the relevant comments in my thread).

The OP states "do I have the right to stop them staying with him?"

yes, and within the context of the whole post surely you can see that she would prefer they have contact AND that father doesnt smoke around them, or at least in confined spaces

as i have said in my other posts, cut her some slack, there is nothing in her post to suggest she is one of these paranoid and selfish mums that abound on here and other forums who doesnt want the kids having contact with him. she sounds desparate to get find a solution

puddy

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

One of m kids has chronic lung disease but still we have to remind certain family members not to smoke around her.

i find it amazing and this is not an isolated case. over the weekend we were in the supermarket. an entire family was walking around the aisles together (i never understand why parents, grandparents and children view the supermarket as a day out but anyway)

the man that i would think was the grand parent was in a mobility scooter thing with a breathing mask on his face. the entire family stank of fags. i knew that this was a family who smoked all the time and around this bloke

sure enough they left the shop at the same time as us and every single one of them, even the bloke, lit up

Acc72

MariaKaria wrote: »

Thank you, thats exactly what I am saying

That is not exactly what you are saying.

What you did exactly say is "do I have the right to stop them staying with him?" as per your original post.

MariaKaria

I'd also like to add that he even smokes in the car when they're with him, a trip back from the supermarket is no more than 10 minutes...I think he could wait until he gets back home and have one outside instead of lighting up in the car!