I feel like I want to run away from my family...

Hovel_lady

DarlingBuds wrote: »

Well obviously I think a lot of it has to do with my depression, but as i said to him today, when I've had a good day or done something brilliant, he just nods.
If I come up with plans for our future or to get myself out of this pit, he's quite negative and says things like 'why bother'?
I know it must be hard living with me, but I fight every day not to show it's beaten me, but I feel he thinks deep down I can't do it.

He even comments on what he had to do years ago i.e. walking on egg shells, but I probably changed my personality at least twice since then - it's like he hasn't moved on with me

I can relate to "he hasn't moved on with me".
I wish I could tell you what to do. Only you know - deep down inside you probably know but I realise it's scary admitting things to yourself good or bad.

I'm battling depression and worse at the moment so I understand that as well.

PM me if I can help at all xx

DarlingBuds

I've decided to look at going to live in a yurt for a long weekend in the middle of nowhere. Always wanted to do it as I like the seclusion and the fact it's quite outdoor living (this I know tends to lighten my mood).

My birthday is next week......... so may do a quick trip, just to see if I can even do something like that by myself!!

Hovel_lady

DarlingBuds wrote: »

I've decided to look at going to live in a yurt for a long weekend in the middle of nowhere. Always wanted to do it as I like the seclusion and the fact it's quite outdoor living (this I know tends to lighten my mood).

My birthday is next week......... so may do a quick trip, just to see if I can even do something like that by myself!!

Of course you can

Enjoy it - I am envious xx

DarlingBuds

I'm not so sure. If I plan things I tend to talk myself out of them pretty quickly! I'm better just doing them off the cuff.
But I know what will happen, I'll end up taking my family for a little break instead!

Hovel_lady

DarlingBuds wrote: »

I'm not so sure. If I plan things I tend to talk myself out of them pretty quickly! I'm better just doing them off the cuff.
But I know what will happen, I'll end up taking my family for a little break instead!

Well, you know the answer - don't plan just go

snowmaid

On Saturday past my OH and youngest went on a day tour for rugby. They left at 07:30 and returned at 12 midnight. It is a day I thoroughly enjoyed!! :j

I love being by myself. I love it when my house is tidy and everything is quiet. I love being able to make myself a cuppa and turn the telly on to magic and potter around. I love not hearing the X-Box, sport etc. I love not having to talk to anyone.

I had 10 minutes to myself this morning, when my son had left for school and hubby had gone to work. I had spent a few minutes tidying etc. I loved it. I looked at my sofas and though I really want to just stay at home, have a cuppa and just soak up this quiet!

You are not alone. Sometimes I feel like running away and I love my family dearly!

poorly_scammo

DarlingBuds wrote: »

If I come up with plans for our future or to get myself out of this pit, he's quite negative and says things like 'why bother'?

I don't like this comment from him.

I suffer from depression too and my partner always tries to be positive, to the extent that I actually want to murder him for being so positive all the time.

It is possible that you're trying too hard. Try and be yourself rather than trying to prove to him (and anyone else for that matter) that you are now different. You will burn yourself out if you keep pushing like this. Let him be negative if he wants. YOU have to keep going and focus on yourself. He'll either come round or you may have some real relationship problems that you might have to deal with.

cheeswright

Darling buds
you can go on holiday on your own - you can do alsorts of things - and you only find out you can by doing them - not by thinking about them
and when you find you can do one thing - you'll find you can do more -

you have to live your life
other people can joiin in if they want - and you can join in with other people - but at the core its yours
often forgotten in the process of having children and husbands

you sound like you need to get your confidence back as much as anything - then you'll be more aware of how you feel about things
a holiday sounds like a REALLY good idea

DarlingBuds

poorly_scammo wrote: »

It is possible that you're trying too hard. Try and be yourself rather than trying to prove to him (and anyone else for that matter) that you are now different. You will burn yourself out if you keep pushing like this.

You're right, I do feel burned out trying to prove I'm on the mend and have achieved so much.
It's not that I'm ashamed on my depression, but I do always feel like I need to 'show progress'

DarlingBuds

Blimey, what an afternoon! With sledgehammers, police and sobbing children, I've managed to calm my neighbours down and sit them down for a heart to heart about violence, life, being strong and moving on - go me!!

I told you I'm always better when sometimes aren't planned!

On the holiday front, I've got a yurt booked in 6 acres of woodland as a birthday treat for myself this weekend. Total seclusion.......... however, as I've made a plan, I've ended up bringing my family with me!

My OH wants me to go on my own to push myself and get some space, but the place looks so lovely that I want my family to enjoy it too!

Am I just my own worst enemy.............??