Wedding guest advice

Swinstie73

Wow who'd have thought it wasn't the done thing to wear a buttonhole to a wedding if not in the bridal party! The last wedding I attended, I wore a black satin skirt with a black/cream top and a cream jacket with, yes, a cream rose. We actually we given buttonholes with tartan by someone to wear, which we wore, but they were totally horrid - made my otherwise nice outfit look like I'd dressed in the dark. So actually the flower I had was far nicer than the 'matching' one.

Incidentally, we're getting married in November, simply white roses and thistle are our flowers which we're supplying for the best man, bridesmaid and ourselves, everyone else is sorting their own and can wear what they like - it's saving us money after all. As for outfits, haven't a clue what my mum or OH's mum is wearing, we'll just be happy they are healthy and fit enough to be there.

Not too happy about my 13 year old niece (who is bridesmaid) wanting to wear 4 inch heels right enough :rotfl:

Idiophreak

Queen_B wrote: »

I've been to quite a few weddings over the past 10 years and I've always worn a buttonhole. I'm quite astounded that by doing so it considered that you are trying to be part of the bridal party, since when did a wedding come about showing people who is who in a bridal party and who is merely a guest?

I guess it's been since flowers have started (yes, I know, well done everyone...I'm sure all your flowers were super-cheap!) getting so expensive - that the bride and groom add into their budget flowers for the bridal party - and nobody else bothers...So certainly, in my generation (mid-20s) the only people we expect to see wearing button holes are the wedding party...In the same way we'd probably be a little thrown if someone else turned up wearing a top hat and tails, it's just not modern social protocol.

So I *can* sympathise with people who think it's a little weird for other people to turn up in button holes or corsages, but to say it's "rude" or to get upset about it is just nonsense. We had a couple of elderly folks with button holes at our wedding last month and you know what I thought? It was nice that they'd made the effort to look their best!

Kaye1

bratz81 wrote: »

I did explain why it's rude - where I'm from only the bridal party wear them. Anyone else wearing them is trying to insert themselves into the bridal party, or detract from the 'key players'. That's why it's rude.
A corsage or buttonhole may be a way of tarting up an outfit, but not at a wedding in my opinion. And why should you need to 'tart up' an outfit, if it's nice it doesn't need a corsage or buttonhole.

Because some of us don't have loads of cash and a plain cream jacket which can be worn for work can look a little plain for a wedding- so a small flower and a hat can then make the outfit look a little more 'weddingy'. If you are on this forum, you know as well as I do how costly weddings can be for the guests, with travel, gifts etc.

Lots of people on this forum will be looking to 'tart up' old outfits to save money. I know I do. No-one is trying to 'elbow' their way into the main party.

becca0417

I think if people were trying to look as though they were in the wedding party, you'd be well aware before the actual day. I don't see the issue, leave people be!

kent_lady

I'm getting married in April 2012 and spoke to my florist about this - she said that it's normal nowadays for just the wedding party to have buttonholes/corsages. And this from a florist - who could make more money by providing them - so it must be true lol!

As for wearing black to a wedding, I'm afraid I'm from the school that thinks it's NOT ok and is in fact very rude:mad:. I will be stating "no black" on my invites, that'll be my bridezilla moment!! :rotfl:

wanchai_2

Kaye1 wrote: »

Because some of us don't have loads of cash and a plain cream jacket which can be worn for work can look a little plain for a wedding- so a small flower and a hat can then make the outfit look a little more 'weddingy'. If you are on this forum, you know as well as I do how costly weddings can be for the guests, with travel, gifts etc.

Lots of people on this forum will be looking to 'tart up' old outfits to save money. I know I do. No-one is trying to 'elbow' their way into the main party.

I don't have a problem with people wearing buttonholes at weddings - never heard of it myself except for the wedding party! If I or my friends want to tart up a plain jacket/dress for a wedding, we usually wear a pretty brooch or a 'statement' necklace (hate that phrase lol). Probably no dearer than a buttonhole (esp. if bought in sales/on eBay) and can be worn again!!

kent_lady wrote: »

I'm getting married in April 2012 and spoke to my florist about this - she said that it's normal nowadays for just the wedding party to have buttonholes/corsages. And this from a florist - who could make more money by providing them - so it must be true lol!

As for wearing black to a wedding, I'm afraid I'm from the school that thinks it's NOT ok and is in fact very rude:mad:. I will be stating "no black" on my invites, that'll be my bridezilla moment!! :rotfl:

What about wearing black and a colour as opposed to top-to-toe black?

RainbowDrops

kent_lady wrote: »

As for wearing black to a wedding, I'm afraid I'm from the school that thinks it's NOT ok and is in fact very rude:mad:. I will be stating "no black" on my invites, that'll be my bridezilla moment!! :rotfl:

Why is it rude?
And what about men?

shellsuit

This thread speaks volumes about what is wrong with some weddings these days.

Surely you invite your guests, they RSVP then turn up on the day, and that's it?

Why do couples think they can dictate to their guests what to wear? Surely them being there is THE most important thing?


Every part of our wedding, we chose with our guests in mind. Heck, we even checked the bar prices before we booked our venue as the previous venue we looked at and really liked, the bar prices were stupid. We ended up chosing a local venue so guests didn't have to piddle about with travel. arrangements.

Our guests could have come in fancy dress for all we cared. All we wanted was for them to share our day, with the least hassle to them as possible.

We certainly didn't dictate what to wear and what not to wear.

Some couples really have ideas/wants/needs above their stations.

**dancingbutterfly**

couldn't agree more Shellsuit.

we too looked at fancy venues but we always checked the bar prices and they were a joke.

So we went with a local large village hall and hired an outside bar service which were excellently priced.

My family are big drinkers and would have walked out if they'd have had to pay £4 a pint!

and to add, a LOT of guest turned up with buttonholes, pretty much every man and and boy and the woman wore corsages on their wrists and bags.

didnt bother us whatsoever, i think its nice, its certainly a tradition here!

bride2be2012

well, we are getting button holes for OH and his best man. Everyone else, including our parents, can get them themselves if they want. I really don't mind if people wear them or not. Though I'm one of these people who couldn't care less if everyone rocked up wearing jeans and trainers, as long as I get to marry my OH!