Wedding guest advice

shellsuit

I've got old photos of my parents when they attended family members weddings and most of them (the guests) are wearing buttonholes. They are registry office and church weddings too.

I've got photos of me when I was 7 (I'm 35 now) at a wedding with my Nan and Grandad (which was a huge grand affair) and all 3 of us are wearing one.

Id be really cheesed off if some one rocked up ,wearing a button hole, to my wedding that I hadnt provided.

Why? Wouldn't you just be greatful that they were there? Some people are older/old school and automatically think they should wear one.

74jax

Cezzabelle wrote: »

havent read the responses but didnt want to read and run

Id be really cheesed off if some one rocked up ,wearing a button hole, to my wedding that I hadnt provided. This wouldn't bother me, I'd be so grateful they had gone to the effort, though I wouldn't have expected it all.

We are putting 6 of our male family members (inc groom n BM in suits) and using button holes as a way of identifying the 4 other friends H2B wanted originally as ushers...but we couldnt afford that many suits.
Also black is fine these days!!
have fun x

I think if your Mam would like to wear a buttonhole then maybe you could suggest she does, but you don't feel comfortable with one, or could you add a flower to your bag maybe?

As for wearing black, I hadn't realised it would be frowned upon, again if at my wedding I wouldn't mind what colour my guests wore.

minerva_windsong

I've never been to a wedding where the guests (ie not the wedding party) had buttonholes or corsages.

And wearing black is fine - the dress I wore to my boyfriend's sister wedding at the weekend was black (albeit a sheer black fabric with polka dots over a nude lining) and quite a few other people wore black as well.

kleapatra

Thanks for your thoughts everyone - I will now go and bicker with my mother! I wouldn't mind but I'm 31 and moved away from home a decade ago!

aarchk

I'm nearer two decades since leaving home and the arguments I had with my mum at my wedding over providing confetti.. she couldnt understand why I wanted to provide confetti cones as 'everyone would bring their own'. As it stands only two people did and one left theirs in the car, so I would be without confetti shots in my album if I hadnt provided them. Mums eh?

LEJC

I had a similar argument with my husbands mother 2 days before our wedding over button holes...she casually announced that she had ordered pink carnations for the ladies and white ones for the men on their side of the family...my colour scheme was peach and cream...

...apparently all their side of the family always wore buttonholes to weddings...well not to mine they didnt...

co incidently we are off to a family wedding again soon with the mother in law...I wont be wearing her said button hole but I will be wearing a black stole/shrug as it complements my dress and October can be a little chilly!

katini

LEJC wrote: »

I had a similar argument with my husbands mother 2 days before our wedding over button holes...she casually announced that she had ordered pink carnations for the ladies and white ones for the men on their side of the family...my colour scheme was peach and cream...

...apparently all their side of the family always wore buttonholes to weddings...well not to mine they didnt...

co incidently we are off to a family wedding again soon with the mother in law...I wont be wearing her said button hole but I will be wearing a black stole/shrug as it complements my dress and October can be a little chilly!

how did you manage to stop her wearing them? My MIL to be is of the same opinion and thinks she is doing her own corsage plus buttonholes and corsages for her side of the family. OH doesn't understand why I am not happy with this and keeps saying "can't you just let her if that's what she wants to do?"

argh.

LEJC

I'm afraid I wasnt calm and rational at all...I let rip...it was totally out of character for me and afterwards I think she saw how upset I was by the suggestion..

My sister is a florist and she had created lovely flowers for those that needed them...the bridal party,mums dads and grans...so in fairness those that mattered were catered for...

Im a great lover of flowers and wanted them to play a big part in our wedding...but of all the flowers there are I really dont like carnations...so unfortunately I saw red when she mentioned pink and white carnations standing proud amongst my peaches and cream roses...

Kaye1

Sorry about this.......we always wear them to weddings, so do my husbands family; usually a cream rose/carnation/fresias.

Something fairly neutral. I went to my best friends wedding in Ireland and they all wore them, and to be honest, it never even occured to me that the bride/groom would even be interested in my flower as they have their entire wedding to enjoy.

I am mid 30's and I was totally gobsmacked by some of the posts saying they were annoyed that guests had worn their own flowers.

katini

LEJC wrote: »

I'm afraid I wasnt calm and rational at all...I let rip...it was totally out of character for me and afterwards I think she saw how upset I was by the suggestion..

My sister is a florist and she had created lovely flowers for those that needed them...the bridal party,mums dads and grans...so in fairness those that mattered were catered for...

Im a great lover of flowers and wanted them to play a big part in our wedding...but of all the flowers there are I really dont like carnations...so unfortunately I saw red when she mentioned pink and white carnations standing proud amongst my peaches and cream roses...

I love flowers too hence why I am also annoyed! MIL to be used to be a florist so thinks she knows everything and has vetoed all of what I've come up with so far so am now not telling her anything but have to get her to give up on her own buttonholes and corsages idea. Really difficult when you don't know someone well enough and your OH isn't keen on visiting ever so there's barely any opportunity to discuss anything or break the ice!!