Wedding guest advice

Torry_Quine

LEJC wrote: »

Similarly Torry...if im invited to your wedding and you ask me not to wear black then I would happily oblige...to me I'd personally rather see a nice fitting and flattering black dress on a guest than a brightly coloured ill fitting ensemble but as I said thats personal preference...

I guess the moral of this thread is ...if in doubt check with the bride...afterall its her day....

It would never have crossed my mind to issue instructions to guests when I married as until reading threads like these it had never crossed my mind that someone would wear black or white to a wedding.

LEJC

Well it just goes to show everyone thinks differently...culturally generations or just changing times...
My sister married almost 40 years ago and my mum thought nothing wrong with wearing black..and even for my wedding 18 years ago she chose an ivory dress to complement my pink one....so no white for me!
Life would lack variety if everyone was the same....

Any way I do hope the op enjoyed the wedding she attended today...with or without the buttonhole and black shrug...

Torry_Quine

LEJC wrote: »

Well it just goes to show everyone thinks differently...culturally generations or just changing times...
My sister married almost 40 years ago and my mum thought nothing wrong with wearing black..and even for my wedding 18 years ago she chose an ivory dress to complement my pink one....so no white for me!
Life would lack variety if everyone was the same....

Any way I do hope the op enjoyed the wedding she attended today...with or without the buttonhole and black shrug...

I must admit if my mother had worn black to my wedding I would have thought she was trying to tell me something. :rotfl:

shellsuit

LEJC wrote: »

So many times on the wedding board the advice given to brides is "its your day...do it how you would want" and I think that rings very true here

I know exactly how Sammy felt about her buttonholes...my similar situation has been documented in the thread too...
Seafarers I feel very sorry that some of your guests wouldnt wear the button hole you provided and feel that they have not respected YOUR wish...given the situation as a guest at your wedding I would happily have complied with your request....the difference being the request has come from you as the bride rather than another member of the wedding party as in my case and I believe also in Sammys situation

Similarly Torry...if im invited to your wedding and you ask me not to wear black then I would happily oblige...to me I'd personally rather see a nice fitting and flattering black dress on a guest than a brightly coloured ill fitting ensemble but as I said thats personal preference...

I guess the moral of this thread is ...if in doubt check with the bride...afterall its her day....

What about the groom? (Or bride if civil marriage) It's his day too isn't it?

It wouldn't have bothered me if our guests didn't want to wear the buttonholes we provided and if we didn't have them for all guests and only the wedding party, it wouldn't have bothered me if guests had turned up wearing their own.

The guests could have come dresses in bins bag spray painted with pink spots for all I cared, I just wanted them to be there.

I can't believe people would get so upset over a button hole. Do they really matter in the grand scheme of things??

Surely the most important thing is getting married to the person you love, not worrying about whether you think the guests look suitable??

burnoutbabe

i was made to wear a flower by my other halves side of the family at a wedding recently. i went for a wrist band version of it in the end.

It matched the flower the bridal party wore/the theme of the wedding. I have zero idea if they were offended or not, I was annoyed enough that someone bought me it to wear and i had no way of politely saying "god no way, not my style at all. I hadn't even considered any sort of issue with the bride until this thread.

LEJC

shellsuit wrote: »

I can't believe people would get so upset over a button hole. Do they really matter in the grand scheme of things??

Surely the most important thing is getting married to the person you love, not worrying about whether you think the guests look suitable??

of course it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things...and after 18 years of marriage,the whole episode for me and the button holes is probably long forgotton...and in time Im sure Sammy will feel the same...however the purpose of these threads is to give advice share experiences and discuss without malice...
I acknowledged it as my bridezilla moment...and again as often is said here...its fine to have one and you wont be judged....

I'm sorry in my response yesterday that I didnt acknowledge the civil partners or grooms...but again on these threads its often from the brides perspective...whilst I know we have a few groom contributers..and civil partners its majoritively the bride who responds...but rest assured even though I may only write check with the bride..I acknowledge its not exclusively just her day...I hope that clears up any misunderstanding...

JBD

At the weddings I went to when I was growing up the bride and groom provided buttonholes for the guests to wear [yes, usually the dreaded carnation] and I went to one a few years ago where there were buttonholes provided, although some guests chose not to wear them. I have never heard of guests providing their own, though I suppose that may be traditional in some areas. Regarding wearing black, that is fine nowadays as it is quite a fashionable colour. I have even seen bridesmaids in black dresses which did surprise me a little, but just goes to show that people can make their own choices nowadays rather than be dictated to by etiquette.

katini

shellsuit wrote: »

The guests could have come dresses in bins bag spray painted with pink spots for all I cared, I just wanted them to be there.

I can't believe people would get so upset over a button hole. Do they really matter in the grand scheme of things??

Surely the most important thing is getting married to the person you love, not worrying about whether you think the guests look suitable??

In my case I'm more annoyed that other guests will wonder why all of OH's family have got buttonholes/corsages but they don't. I don't want them awkwardly thinking "oh why weren't we provided with them?" or "oh crap should we have brought our own with us?".

I don't care what anyone wears: I'm not even bothered if people wear white or ivory or even black and I certainly don't care a jot what our mothers wear and how/if they'll be coordinated/clash (which MIL is very concerned about). I just don't want any of the guests to feel left out or awkward because OH's family all have coordinating buttonholes and no one else does.

AutumnBride85

I wouldnt be offened if guests wore their own flowers however i did think they were more for identifying the main players in the wedding party (best man, groom, brides dads etc) but perhaps i have that wrong.

Black is fine at a wedding. Though not too much of it. I thinks its become a popular colour recently, i noticed the special occasion dresses in bhs were mainly black. A shrug would be fine. i wore a black silk dress to my dads wedding and no one batted an eyelid!

LolaLemon

Past 4 weddings I have went to, I have gotten myself a flower to wear, mainly for on my wrist.
Last year for my best friends wedding down in grimsby, travelling from outside Glasgow, I got a 'real' fake flower and wore it in my hair, as I didn't think a real one would have survived the trip.

I think in some areas its just the done thing, I wouldn't provide them, but would appreciate the traditions being kept by the guests.