Real Life MMD: Should my brother get his share of Mum's will?

Biggles

JayD wrote: »

Briefly - It is HER will, HER money, HER decision!

Exactly. The £5,000 is her money, too, and is part of the estate.

leaphaze

If mum has enough money, maybe she could give her other 7 children a non-returnable loan of £5,000. She'd then have the enjoyment of seeing what her children have spent the money on, and everyone's equal.

Julia4J

It sounds like your mum is still alive? What a whinger you are, it's nothing to do with you, get over yourself already.

FATBALLZ

I don't see what your dilemma is here - because it is your mother's dilemma.

dmb640

If sufficient funds, other 7 should get £5000 each BEFORE the remainder is divided into eight
Otherwise NO - he should get NOTHING

John_Pierpoint

There is a big on going thread of the joys of lending money to friends and family here:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/76953

Expectation is a much more powerful emotion than gratitude.

That is why banks want "security" for loans.
Always ask for at least an undated cheque at the time of the loan - if this gives the borrower cause to pause and think, draw your own conclusion.

If a bank won't lend, and they are the experts, why should the bank of mum and dad step in, especially if the loan is simply because the borrower can't cope with balancing their budget - offer to buy them some groceries.

Joannie_2

If your mum was that bothered she would have written "less £5k" in her will and put her mind to rest. Why has she discussed this with you and not the rest of her children - does she think you'll take action on her behalf?

bigperk

Although the OP has not replied to anything so far, I hope she has found some useful/helpful thoughts here.

I am more than a bit dismayed though how so many have attacked her so viciously on what I assume was a genuine query - this is an advice forum, surely, not the Spanish Inquisition? Also some posts slagging off other forum members - sad or what? I'm on some other forums and haven't come across such !!!!!iness on any of them.

Can't people just answer the questions asked in good faith without having a vindictive slagging-off to show how clever/self righteous they are? Not that it will matter to those folk, but it makes me wonder whether contributing here is worth while. Hope it is!

catsbumfluff

I agree.
The final figure should have 5k added then divide by the 8 of you.
But if your mom has already passed on it's not good to argue about money.
At the end of the day mom had the chance to bring it up but felt awkward doing so, it's an unfair thing to her more than to you!
Just let the selfish sibling keep the ill gotten gains.

Fighting and falling out about money can end end up causing bitter resentment and cause a division...something no parent would want for their children.
Money and wills cause more broken families than you may realise,trust me i've seen this happen a total of 5 times to my family and friends over the years! and i'm only 43!

hard-up_5

I don't think it's a clear case of someone wanting to have all their share of their mums estate and being greedy.

Your mum is upset about the way she has been treated by your brother and obviously is concerned about upsetting your brother and all the family. I think it's a case of justice being done to the satisfaction of all the members of the family including your brother. Wouldn't it be best to ask all the family members, inc your mum and brother, to agree to the sum being paid back into the estate now while she may need the money whilst still alive. It will be hers to do with as she pleases and your brother will have paid her back. Or take the money out of his share of the estate when the occasion arises.
Once she has died, and this situation becomes an argument, you may all fall out over this as aggrievances tend to come to a head where money is concerned.
If your siblings and mother disagree with you, you may well have to keep quiet and accept the situation.

Family unity is most important and it's not worth fighting over-I've known many a family been split apart after a loved ones death. It's not worth it!!