Real Life MMD: Should my brother get his share of Mum's will?

Mr_Max

Witnessed a similar situation: My Dad's business went under (due to a con-man) and our house went, taking my Grandmother's share in that house with it. That was about 17 years ago, and since then they've built another business.

My Grandmother died about 5 years ago, and split her estate between my Dad, my Uncle, me & my brother. My Uncle tried to argue that my Dad's "share" went when the house was repossessed all those years ago. However, it was my Grandmother's money to will, not his. For the record, I would say this even if I wasn't a beneficiary. This has basically led to my Dad and my Uncle not speaking outside of very formal reasons.

Basically, explain your position to your Mum but it is her final choice. If she wills your Brother money, then you must accept this and move on. Money (especially willed money) seems to do things to people that turns them into a foaming greed-monster. You must fully respect her wishes, even if you don't agree with them.

It's the only thing you can do to avoid it destroying any relationships.

mad990diver

Situation sounds bad enough now but will certainly get worse after your mum passes so I couldn't agree more with the others who say make the most of your opportunities with your mum while you can.

The outcome of the 'loan' depends...

A. If it can be shown this was a real loan made with the intention that is should be repaid at some point in the future then the executors will be responsible for collection as part of probate. This will be easy as the money owed is counted as part of your Mum's estate, to be distributed as per her instructions. The cash sum your brother receives will therefore be his share less the amount of the loan to him.

B. If you cannot show an official loan then game over and he receives the same as the rest of you.

I suspect you will be in the latter position (as most family loans are) unless your Mum had the foresight to set things up properly with some kind of loan note.

Good luck and remember it's only money!

Nick_C

At the risk of going off topic, is there any point in making a will if your partner has died and you simply want your money to be divided amongst your children? The laws of intestacy would ensure this happened anyway. Don't see the point of paying for a will to be drawn up in this scenario?

ISAmad

I think it is immoral for you to be openly banking on your Mother's estate - before the poor lady has even laid to rest.

Instead of getting your knickers in a twist about what will happen to her money once she's gone, why not spend your time and energy on enjoying the rest of the time you have with your Mother.

pennypinchUK

So many of these dilemmas could be sorted out instantly if people just talked to each other. Same goes here. Your mother must ask for a repayment of the loan.

Too many families fall out over the distribution of money in wills. This one can easily be nipped in the bud before it gets to a confrontation.

ISAmad

louisajonas wrote: »

Can I just say to all the negative comment leavers on here - why is it so taboo to talk about someone dying as though it is never going to happen? What does talking about a will have to do with wanting your mother to be dead or alive? Get a grip - they are talking about a certain eventuality not sticking pins in a voodoo doll!

The answer seems to be that he shouldn't get his share of mum's estate as he has already had it but he probably will because mum will feel too bad to change her will!

Wrong. The answer is that it is no one's business but the mother's.

And the reason that some people find it distasteful (reference your 'taboo') is because fighting over a parent's Will demonstrates greed. It's basically an adult version of children fighting over who gets the toy deemed most favourable. As I say, it really isn't anyone's business except the Will-maker. Unless some sort of immoral coercion is taking place (but there is no mention of that here).

ISAmad

Nick_C wrote: »

At the risk of going off topic, is there any point in making a will if your partner has died and you simply want your money to be divided amongst your children? The laws of intestacy would ensure this happened anyway. Don't see the point of paying for a will to be drawn up in this scenario?

Yes, there is a point. I don't remember what it is but I gather that the days when your Will passed to your next of kin automatically are gone. It's a greyer area now. Check the law. Or wait for someone more knowledgeable on these matters to reply.

drnaturegirl

Well, is it fair?..May be not, but it's your mum's money, your mum's choice. She has the option to speak to her son, or indeed change her will if she feels that strongly about it. Not really anything to do with anyone else!

Nick_C

Nick_C wrote: »

At the risk of going off topic, is there any point in making a will if your partner has died and you simply want your money to be divided amongst your children? The laws of intestacy would ensure this happened anyway. Don't see the point of paying for a will to be drawn up in this scenario?

ISAmad wrote: »

Yes, there is a point. I don't remember what it is but I gather that the days when your Will passed to your next of kin automatically are gone. It's a greyer area now. Check the law. Or wait for someone more knowledgeable on these matters to reply.

Hi ISAmad. I do have a fairly good understanding of the law relating to intestacy, having just sorted out my mother's estate, but I would welcome knowledgeable responses to my question as I may have missed some obscure point.

nancypearl

I would be grateful for any will windfall I ever get, but I would give it all back in a heartbeat if it meant I could have one more day with that person.