Can you help me mull something over please?

aliasojo

Regulars will know that OH and I own our own home and have been refurbing it for years. It was an extensive refurb down to new subfloors and walls etc, not just a decorative refurb. All materials bought were of high quality, oak finishings, expensive kitchen flooring, new bathroom/kitchen yadda yadda.....

Son & g/f want a dog. We're concerned about possible chew damage, possible smells (especially if puppy piddles on wood floor and urine seeps between joins - all the flooring inc sub floors are new). We're uncertain if we will rent the house out or if we will sell after son moves on, so are concerned that the rooms that are all done, stay in good condition. If this was to be their long term home that would be different and we'd probably be less bothered tbh but they are saving up for a deposit for a bought house themselves so will only be staying there for around a year.

We're really not sure what to do as we can see both sides. We just keep coming back to feeling unhappy at the thought though. I'm not sure if we are being unfair if we say no?

I'd appreciate your thoughts?

Lotus-eater

I'd say no, not in a house you need to rent or sell.

A dog is a lifetime commitment anyway, how committed are they to each other? And they both need to really want one. As for the fact the GF didn't want you to know, I would be livid, it's your house, you need to know everything.

victory

I agree, your house yor rules, gf should have been upfront and told you, no one has the right to do anything in your house without dscussion, family or not.

Pepzofio

Tell them to wait until they have their own place. They may find they actually can't afford a dog once they are running their own household - probably better they work that out before they get one!

lostinrates

No.

I'd consider it to a ''proper'' tenant, but the blurred lines are to great here especially if your son is't keen on the idea. A dog with both people working, even with a helpful Mum, means potentiallyhousetraining difficulties, n even with an older dog, the occasional accident...say GF Mum goes on holiday etc and they push the dogs bladder just a little too far....

with a tenant, and a dog clause (carpets professionally cleaned etc) I wouldn't have too much against it...here I would...already there has been discussion of not telling you and the conflict between them over it.

Tropez

I'd say your options are to either take the position that it is your house and due to an uncertain future regarding the property you can't allow a dog in the home.

Or, you could agree but on the proviso that the son's gf does not get a puppy and instead opts to rescue a dog that has already been housetrained, acquiring the relevent evidence of this from the rescue home before any agreement is made regarding the dog coming home.

Has the son's gf ever owned a dog before and if so what is her experience with them? This would be the deal breaker in my eyes. If she is a first time dog owner then I would have to say know, until such a time when I was satisfied that she knew about every aspect of caring for a dog. Too many people have the romantic image of the playful, cute, well-behaved puppy who snuggles in their owners lap oblivious to the reality that without ongoing training a dog can be a little - bitey shall we say, yappy, excitable and has the potential for being destructive, particularly in breeds or even just individual dogs who are more prone to separation anxiety.

I would also make it clear to her that many dogs find change stressful - and that includes moving home. A dog needs to feel settled and happy in its surroundings and so if a dog is brought home (and by all rights, finding a suitable dog should take at least a few months), settles in and is then upped and moved six months later, while there is unlikely to be any psychological damage on any sort of permanent level, it can still be unpleasant for the poor dog.

I'd also consider it a bit of a warning sign that the girlfriend wants the dog but her son doesn't. In some respects, though clearly not all, dogs are furry babies and everybody in the home needs to know how to control the dog, command respect from the dog and how to see to the dogs needs. If one person doesn't want the dog then that can be unfair for both themselves and the dog and it can also lead to difficulties with the dog as a dog who is unable to earn the respect of its master is likely going to begin not caring about that person, seeing them as an enemy of sorts - it likely won't ever attack them but if you want the dog not to chew up your brand new shoes and you've never given the dog the love and attention it desires because you're resentful of it being there to begin with, well, good luck with that is all I can say.

BugglyB

I would say no, if you are not happy about it.

If it is a deal breaker for them, they can find somewhere else to live that does allow dogs.

Dont fall into the trap of thinking it is hypocritical -I assume you checked with the owner of your rental property before you took your dog there? They will have to do the same.

candygirl

I'd tell them no hun!!!It'll be hard to do, but unless you want a pee ridden house, which you will get with a pup left alone for long bouts of time, it's the only solution:)

mummyoftwomonkeys

No. Put your fut down and say no sorry. Its a lovely idea for her at the moment it always is until you actually put it into practice, Im 29 have been renting for 5 years all other houses we were not aloud pets so when we moved into this house and was told it was ok I jumped straight into getting a cat, seemed a lovely idea and don't get me wrong she is here to stay now I would never get rid of her but given the choice again I would have waited until my l.o was a bit older. If their out all day then its pointless getting a dog they need love, lots of walks their a pack animal my dads dog hates being left on her own she crys for hours and its hardly fair to expect someone else to look after it all day.

gonzo127

i agree with the no vote, if both work full time anyway it really isnt fair on the dog, this is not even taking into account the house just the dogs well being, or does the GF's mothers 'job' include staying with the dog for a few hours everyday to keep it company, or is she just going to pop in when/if she can to let the dog out for to go to the toilet and then once the deed is done lock the dog up in the house again on its own?

to be honest i would be more tempted (if they must have a pet) to suggest a cat over a dog because they are more independant and can have a cat flap installed so it can roam when it wants, they can still have a cute fluffy pet but it is something that will suite their current life style better as it will not be cruel on the animal

martinthebandit

Of course you should not say 'no' or yes either for that matter, is your son and his gf not adults?

You should say its your choice and its your responsibility, as long as you fix any damage its does, which in reality is likely to be very little anyway.