Can you help me mull something over please?

aliasojo

Tropez wrote: »

Has the son's gf ever owned a dog before and if so what is her experience with them?

I'd also consider it a bit of a warning sign that the girlfriend wants the dog but her son doesn't. In some respects, though clearly not all, dogs are furry babies and everybody in the home needs to know how to control the dog, command respect from the dog and how to see to the dogs needs. If one person doesn't want the dog then that can be unfair for both themselves and the dog and it can also lead to difficulties with the dog as a dog who is unable to earn the respect of its master is likely going to begin not caring about that person, seeing them as an enemy of sorts - it likely won't ever attack them but if you want the dog not to chew up your brand new shoes and you've never given the dog the love and attention it desires because you're resentful of it being there to begin with, well, good luck with that is all I can say.

G/f & family have had dogs previously.

Son works 12 hour shifts and just isn't up for then coming home and being faced with something that may want or need attention. I also wonder if he feels slightly disloyal to our own dog as I know he was very upset when we moved and he couldn't see his/our dog anymore unless he travelled 200 miles to do so. (But maybe I'm just adding things into the equation that aren't the case.)

BugglyB wrote: »

Dont fall into the trap of thinking it is hypocritical -I assume you checked with the owner of your rental property before you took your dog there? They will have to do the same.

Yes. We had considered several properties before this one that wouldn't entertain the idea of pets so I can understand things from a dog owner's view too. We weren't allowed a puppy here but our older dog was ok.

gonzo127 wrote: »

i agree with the no vote, if both work full time anyway it really isnt fair on the dog, this is not even taking into account the house just the dogs well being, or does the GF's mothers 'job' include staying with the dog for a few hours everyday to keep it company, or is she just going to pop in when/if she can to let the dog out for to go to the toilet and then once the deed is done lock the dog up in the house again on its own?

to be honest i would be more tempted (if they must have a pet) to suggest a cat over a dog because they are more independant and can have a cat flap installed so it can roam when it wants, they can still have a cute fluffy pet but it is something that will suite their current life style better as it will not be cruel on the animal

I'm not certain but I believe the dog may have gone to Mum's house. Even if that is the case I still feel there will be times when the dog is alone at home. Nothing wrong in that, but concerning for a home owner with regards to possible damage etc.

Nimeth

I too would say no to the dog. They are living there essentially because you allow them to. If you are indeed thinking of renting it out in future, the house needs to be in good tidy order and free from pet wee, fur, etc.

The fact that your son's g/f is mad at him for telling you and that she didn't want anyone to know tells me that she knows she's on uncertain ground with this anyway, so better to go ahead and get the dog so that you can't do anything about it. Or at least I'm guessing that's her thinking! Cheeky too and somewhat dishonest. Not on at all in my opinion.

That doesn't even cover the fact that your son does not want the responsibility of a dog and she's clearly not listening to him on this. If he's that adamant about it, he should not let her walk all over him on this.

meg72

I feel for you love,obviously you want to do whats right and cant please everybody. I would say
No, waituntilt hey get there own place. I would not be happy that GF did not intend to ask but would let that one go for now but would keep it in mind, it does not bear well for an honest relationship.

Good luck and sorry this is causing you upset.

lostinrates

aloasojo, I seem to recall that your son wouldn't have time to maintain your garden....didn'trealise there was GF too, but in retrospect, as a keen gardener and pet owner the garden is less demanding. If no time to help you with that then how does the time for a dog from GF now emerge?

Its not fair on you IMO.

aliasojo

martinthebandit wrote: »

...... as long as you fix any damage its does, which in reality is likely to be very little anyway.

Have you not seen Marley and Me? :rotfl:

Just as an example, if a floor gets water damage from unoticed piddle seeping between joins, it's not a simple or quick repair. A replacement floor involves removing skirting and probably repairing damage to the surrounding wall then a repaint.

I realise this is an example at the extreme end of things but I have personally seen a floor damaged in this way which is why I have this concern. Of course, there may be no damage at all and all would be well but there is a risk. And we're not happy with the risk factor after all the hard work, money and stress put into the house. :undecided

But we feel bad because it's family and we are trying to be considerate to them (well her) too.

rachbc

Forgetting the house if your son doesn't want a dog then they shouldn't get one - not fair on him or more importantly the dog.

But no I owuld say not in your house

aliasojo

Thanks to all for your replies. I was worried I was being unfair and I really am trying to make a balanced decision about this so I appreciate all your thoughts. I think I will have to tell them that we just aren't happy and would prefer if they waited until they got their own house before getting a dog.

Mupette

Your house your rules.

I think GF is a bit cheeky in getting annoyed with BF when it is not her house.

If you own your house then yes fine, but when renting.... LL rules apply.

And since you will want to sell some point in the future this could cost you.. not BF and GF but you.

Your dog grew up with all that was going on, I think GF is being a bit selfish, perhpas explain why your not happy..

Chewing, puppy wee seeping.... dog smells, and perhaps she would understand, or hold her responsible for any 'costs' if the dog does damage?

aliasojo

rachbc wrote: »

Forgetting the house if your son doesn't want a dog then they shouldn't get one - not fair on him or more importantly the dog.

I agree but I'm staying out of that one. It's straying into the realms of relationship advice I think. I'll keep my opinion on that to myself unless asked for.

mummyroysof3

if you had let it out to non family with proper contract in place would it specify no dogs?....if it would then say no cos when they move on you know it will be left to you to rectify the damage before renting out/selling

i would be very annoyed at her for trying to get one without you knowing too

guess this is why alot of people wont rent to family eh, good luck with it x