Can you help me mull something over please?

adamantine

im with everyone else in saying no.

tell them to do their research properly, find out what kind of breed they want, look into possible health problems of the breed, the care it will need eg walks, how often it will need groomed etc, and the pet insurance costs etc... and when they buy their own house they can get one then.

Tropez

aliasojo wrote: »

G/f & family have had dogs previously.

Son works 12 hour shifts and just isn't up for then coming home and being faced with something that may want or need attention. I also wonder if he feels slightly disloyal to our own dog as I know he was very upset when we moved and he couldn't see his/our dog anymore unless he travelled 200 miles to do so. (But maybe I'm just adding things into the equation that aren't the case.)

I suppose if her family has had dogs then she presumably grew up with them and possibly therefore has an idea of life involving dogs... yeah, that made more sense in my head.

I know that having grown up with dogs and not having spent any time without a dog I wouldn't want to be without at least one (read four at the moment!) and therefore quite a few of my life decisions would be based on whether I could have my dogs with me or not - in fact, I've made a couple of decisions based on my dogs including the house in which I live, and turning down a job simply because I wouldn't be able to take my dogs with me.

If that is the case with your son's gf, and it is an if as I don't presume to speak for her, then I can be understanding towards her - but at the same time she does have to accept that for the time being at least it would be unfair to take on a dog as her living arrangements do not really allow for one, and it is certainly unfair on you for her to try and bring in a dog on the sly - I'm guessing because she thought that once she had the dog, if and when you found out, you'd be less inclined to make her return it to the breeder/rescue centre... that approach was dishonest in my view.

gratefulforhelp_2

Your house, your boundaries/rules.

If dog is a chewer, will they fix all the damage?

gonzo127

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm not certain but I believe the dog may have gone to Mum's house. Even if that is the case I still feel there will be times when the dog is alone at home. Nothing wrong in that, but concerning for a home owner with regards to possible damage etc.

wait a min - so the dog could live 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, in one house (the mums) and then get picked up transported however far to then sleep in another house only to get transported back to the mums house for daytime, then at weekends stay at their house, unless they want to go out, then it might be back to the mums house, not even taking into account any time the mum wants to go out during the week which would mean the dog would then have to be locked up in one of the house's, not nessesarily the same house 2 days in a row, on its own.

my god that would be really quite horrible to the dog, it really would not know its !!!! from its elbow in regards to where its home is and who is its master (i know i probably owuldnt in its situation), that really is asking for trouble in regards to destructive behavour due to it being unsettled

lostinrates

Tropez wrote: »

II've made a couple of decisions based on my dogs including the house in which I live, and turning down a job simply because I wouldn't be able to take my dogs with me.

If that is the case with your son's gf, and it is an if as I don't presume to speak for her, then I can be understanding towards her - but at the same time she does have to accept that for the time being at least it would be unfair to take on a dog as her living arrangements do not really allow for one, and it is certainly unfair on you for her to try and bring in a dog on the sly - .

And that is really the point, isn't it? ALL our life decisions factor in the pets...all of them...work, house, holiday, what floor we have, what bed we have, what our back doors are going to be...what time we get up and go to bed to allow for ''wee-wees'' for the dogs. Including where we live. If getting a dog is a priority for her, then where they live might have to change. I think, the chances are she has a very good deal where she is, so if they save furiously now then the garden she'll be able to offer her dog in a year or so will be much better. Its MUCH easier to bring a new pet into an established home...rather than viewing a house with ''dog bed, dog bowls, dog toy box and pooper scooper storage'' in mind. Its not possiblke for all, but it is possible in this case to wait for a ''better'' set up for the young couple involved.

aliasojo

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

if you had let it out to non family with proper contract in place would it specify no dogs...

As our move is all recent, we hadn't got as far as actually thinking about what we would do tbh so I can't really answer that fairly.

Tropez wrote: »

I suppose if her family has had dogs then she presumably grew up with them and possibly therefore has an idea of life involving dogs... yeah, that made more sense in my head.

I know that having grown up with dogs and not having spent any time without a dog I wouldn't want to be without at least one (read four at the moment!)

If that is the case with your son's gf, and it is an if as I don't presume to speak for her, then I can be understanding towards her - but at the same time she does have to accept that for the time being at least it would be unfair to take on a dog as her living arrangements do not really allow for one, and it is certainly unfair on you for her to try and bring in a dog on the sly - I'm guessing because she thought that once she had the dog, if and when you found out, you'd be less inclined to make her return it to the breeder/rescue centre... that approach was dishonest in my view.

I understand her feelings too, that's why I've tried to be as reasonable as possible. Being a dog owner myself I can fully understand the want/need to have one. However, being a dog owner I have also seen what damage the little darlings can do. Not to say it would of course, just recognising the risk.

I do think it wan't very nice of her to want to keep the situation from me but I wont judge her for it, maybe her heart just overrode her head for a while.

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Your house, your boundaries/rules.

If dog is a chewer, will they fix all the damage?

I expect son would pay to put right the damage but it's not just about cost, it's the hassle, inconvenience and timing involved too. We had to wait weeks for a good joiner at one point, the thought of being similarly held up just because of someone else's pet, is annoying if I'm honest.

3v3

If you take away the fact it is your son and his g/f, would you permit tenants renting your property to keep a dog? If you're not happy, then the obvious answer is no. The more complicated answer is how you approach it so as not to ruffle relationships

Plans_all_plans

Oh dear, that girlfriend's a bit cheeky, isn't she??!!

I'd say no too.

gratefulforhelp_2

aliasojo wrote: »

I expect son would pay to put right the damage but it's not just about cost, it's the hassle, inconvenience and timing involved too. We had to wait weeks for a good joiner at one point, the thought of being similarly held up just because of someone else's pet, is annoying if I'm honest.

Then you have to say no, I think.

Errata

I needed to keep an eagle eye on my latest dog when he was a pup, and despite that he chewed: skirting, wallpaper, plaster, door architrave and tried to manufacture his own dog flap in an inside door, stamped on plants in the garden, pee'd on the grass and killed it off, pee'd on the carpet. But on the plus side, he didn't scatter flees all over the place and only vomitted on the lino.
Appreciate it's a difficult decision, so I'd suggest and outside kennel and run as a compromise. GF won't go with that, but it puts the decision in her hands, not yours.