Can you help me mull something over please?

paddy's_mum

aliasojo wrote: »

we are trying to be considerate to ... her

I think you're being very charitable to put her sneakiness down to a temporary blip.

I'd be livid at the dishonesty and/or manipulation which lies at the root of the attempt to keep you in the dark. Perhaps this girlfriend needs to learn that courtesy and consideration are two way streets before she alienates her benefactress and potential future mother in law

FatVonD

I think you should say no and say it quickly before she gets one behind your back

aliasojo

Well I've done it. I was asked to reply by text as both son and g/f will be at work until late so that is what I've done. I don't 'do' text speak so I suspect my lengthy explanation of our unhappiness at the thought of a dog in the house will have taken around 3 texts to send/read.

I still don't feel good about telling them we don't want a dog in the house but I think it's the right decision for us. I hope it doesn't cause a major fallout.

Thanks again everyone.

polythenegirl

martinthebandit wrote: »

Of course you should not say 'no' or yes either for that matter, is your son and his gf not adults?

You should say its your choice and its your responsibility, as long as you fix any damage its does, which in reality is likely to be very little anyway.

Except that if you are living in rented proeprty you always have to make sure you are allowed to have a pet - whetehr it is a dog, cat, horse, fish or anythign else. It is normally stated in a tenancy agreemwnt whether or not the landlord will allow you.

As the son & GF are technically renting the property, albeit from his parents surely the same rules apply?

make_me_wise

The g/f didn't want you to know because she can see the quality of the work you have done and knows deep down that a puppy could quite easily wreck it. You invested too much time and energy in the place to risk it OP in my honest opinion.

Say no is my advice. If you dont sell and eventually move back there you would be devestated if it weren't up to or near to the standard you left it wouldn't you. If they are only going to be there a year or so they can wait to get a puppy cant they.

3v3

aliasojo wrote: »

Well I've done it. I was asked to reply by text as both son and g/f will be at work until late so that is what I've done. I don't 'do' text speak so I suspect my lengthy explanation of our unhappiness at the thought of a dog in the house will have taken around 3 texts to send/read.

I still don't feel good about telling them we don't want a dog in the house but I think it's the right decision for us. I hope it doesn't cause a major fallout.

Thanks again everyone.

And that is really what is right all round

I'm glad you've told them, must feel like a weight off your mind.

Doubt it will cause a major fallout; think g/f may be upset, but, as your son wasn't keen on the idea in the first instance, he'll hopefully support your decision and let his g/f know it's not worth falling out over.

mountainofdebt

OP

Don't take this the wrong way (I'm simply hoping you'll use it as a bench mark to help you make a decision) but didn't you have a moan when your daughter took a glass of water into her bedroom for the very reason that you didn't want any spills ?

aliasojo

mountainofdebt wrote: »

OP

Don't take this the wrong way (I'm simply hoping you'll use it as a bench mark to help you make a decision) but didn't you have a moan when your daughter took a glass of water into her bedroom for the very reason that you didn't want any spills ?

Yes I did. And don't forget the nail polish, that was part of the same issue. Only I think a more accurate word for it was rant as I was at pains to point out at the time. Can we not all go there again though please?

It wasn't too much fun the first time around and I really can't be faffed with people posting about how I should really have looked ahead and realised at some point in time someone would want to bring a dog into the house and I should really have picked practical decor to suit.

However all that does is show I'm consistant and show no favouritism. Potential damage is potential damage no matter if it stems from a human or an animal.

mountainofdebt

aliasojo wrote: »

Yes I did. And don't forget the nail polish, that was part of the same issue. Only I think a more accurate word for it was rant as I was at pains to point out at the time. Can we not all go there again though please?

It wasn't too much fun the first time around and I really can't be faffed with people posting about how I should really have looked ahead and realised at some point in time someone would want to bring a dog into the house and I should really have picked practical decor to suit.

However all that does is show I'm consistant and show no favouritism. Potential damage is potential damage no matter if it stems from a human or an animal.

No I wasn't having a go (honestly) - what I was trying to get you to think of was if you were that upset about a glass of water going into the bedroom then that can be used to put the issue of having a puppy in the house into context iyswim.

tbh I can't see why you should have considered the decor in terms of being puppy friendly - you didn't do up the house knowing that you would be moving shortly after finishing it and if you do rent the house out you, as landlord, have the right to state no pets etc.

I am on your side (honest) and I agree that the girlfriend was a cheeky mare for even considering no telling you!

olibrofiz

I'd say no too.

And having a rescue dog that's ripped up the kitchen carpet,chomped on skirting boards, piddles if I'm out for 30 minutes etc, etc, I wouldn't even waiver towards the 'not a puppy' comment either.....that MAY leave it open to 'how about a rescue'

Love my little rescue tho thankfully my house is in the early stages of rennovation