My son's 18th birthday wish list

victory

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*max*

kjmtidea wrote: »

For my 18th I got a lovely necklace, a limited edition one that my dad chose, he died a few months later so it means even more to me.

If any of my boys behaved the way your son is then I would sit down with him and make him work out how many hours I would have to work to afford the things he is asking. Then make him try and work out how I could afford to pay rent, bills, food etc as well.
I have to admit I would be really really disappointed if any of them did behave in that way

Exactly. I'm the same with my mum, and bless her, she never had much to spare - but I was grateful for it, and for her kindness.
What I'm trying to get at, is that victory is here, ranting about her own son, ridiculing him for his choices...when really, it's HER fault.

I was very, VERY independent from early on. And when I hit teenage-hood, I became even more so - ungrateful, angry...I was a proper a$$hole. But then I always had that "thing", at the back of my mind, that I loved my mum and I would drop everything for her in an instant. She never put me down, you see. She never called me a "twonk", or worse. She was always there, when I needed her.

And these past years, when she needed me, I was there, because I love her with all my heart.

I hope you find it in yourself to TALK to your son, instead of mocking him or putting him down, trying to understand where he's coming from. Because one day, you will be on your own - and you will need him.

jakes-mum

When I was 18 I was bought 10 driving lessons (the rest to be paid by me) and a white £5 note, I was gobsmacked about the note as i knew how expensive they were. Neither my middle sister or I were allowed a party as my eldest sister had one and the kids trashed the village hall (my dad had to go down and fix the palce up!!)

Just a quick memory on the sometimes having that thought of no presents on the day My mum once told me a story of when she was little, she had 1 brother and 5 sisters, one christmas eve her brother was such a little so and so he drove my grandad to his wits end. Off to bed he was sent, and when they all came hammering down the stairs the next morning, not one present was there for my uncle, grandad had hidden them all in the airing cupboard and my uncle didnt get them till after tea where he had to sit on his own and open them. He never forgot it and was a darn sight more respectful and well behaved every christmas after :rotfl:

Plans_all_plans

Dear me, the mother in that show must've been delusional. Victory, tell your son he'd best start feeling grateful for what you'll get him or you'll be commissioning him a similar portrait!

victory

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SingleSue

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

My ex's niece once brought over a catalogue in which she'd hi-lighted a number of items and graciously told me I could buy her the hi-lighted items for Christmas. She got nothing for Christmas that year or for her birthday that was a few weeks later. I'm quite nasty about that sort of thing though...my nephew isn't getting gifts this year because after spending a long time shopping for him (and a fair bit of money) last Christmas he opened his gifts, barely looked at them then asked 'is that it?'....answer: 'yep it is'.

Perhaps I'm horrible, but I do think that some spoiled kids need to be taught a lesson once in a while!

That is actually the way we ask the kids to do their present lists for birthday and christmas, so we know that we are buying them something they want. They do however, have to work to a strict budget and they know that if one of the items is at the limit of the budget, then they only get that one item.

As for the amount set.....£15 if is is my parents buying, upto £20 if I am (this is for my children only). So their choices range from the pocket money priced options all the way up to the upper limit. If there is an item which is over the budget amount, they will ring it but have the understanding that two or more people may combine their funds to purchase it.

Never been any moans here.....they don't get everything they list but they do get things they actually like (and saves me time having to return something because they have received 3 of the same thing!)

Eldest is 18 very soon, at the moment, he is still vague about what he wants (the only things he can think of he will not suggest because he knows there is not a cat in hells chance of me affording them) but he thinks a few (literally two or three!) driving lessons might be handy, his view is that if everyone provides a couple of lessons each, then he will have a fair few to be getting on with.

I know he wants a laptop but I also know it is his intention to buy it himself out of his part time earnings but first, he is paying off a camcorder my parents bought on his behalf for one of his A level courses.

victory

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Plans_all_plans

victory wrote: »

I would give him more because I love him and want him to be one of the in crowd and not feel he has to be out of it because he has not got the latest gadget

He washed his phone so he has no mobile...everyone has a blackberry, it is my birthday so get me one, I want one.

Well, I managed to be very popular at school but I didn't have any gadgets, I had the sh!ttest phone, no car, everyone else's parents were loaded as it was a private school. It must've been my personality that kept me popular!!

It's a very shallow attitude to have really: If he can only be part of the in-crowd if he has certain possessions, I wouldn't want my child to have any part of it. Who he is, is more important than what he HAS and he should know that by 18.

I would be dubious that his phone got washed by "accident" too. I've never washed anything if I'd paid for it. But I've washed jeans with (my parents) money in the pockets of them.

Best of luck OP.

victory

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victory

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