Daughters wedding vs DFD

Brighton_belle

claire16c wrote: »

I totally agree about the saving thing. However if she can get the money to go to her daughters wedding, then why not. And as its abroad Im guessing it will be a smaller affair than it would be at home.

If she came on here and was asking should she buy a new handbag or just go on a random holiday then my advice would be totally different!

I do agree with you, I do think she should go to the wedding, just not worry about contibuting the wedding costs. If I sound like I am contradicting myself can we put it down to 'wedding brain' which now realise is a real condition if my experience is anything to go by:rotfl:

Ladyhawk

I would be absolutely horrified if my parents even considered going into debt for my wedding, or to help buy a house or anything! As far as I am concerned once I left home (at 20), all their money was theirs and I don't want any of it. I don't want an inheritence or anything. I want them to enjoy the fruits of their years of hard work.

OP - enjoy the wedding and the holiday.

May2013

Thank you for all your comments...some really lovely sentiments!

I think I have a plan!!!. My original post was really about my guilt that yet again my debt is going to stand in the way of me doing something to help one of my children at an important milestone in their life…..having said that if I don’t finally put this debt to bed it's going to stand in my way for many years to come…and that’s just not an option!!!

I feel I need to point out that my DD is not being selfish in any way at all, it would be totally wrong of her to put her life on hold to accommodate my debt free timelines….my debt, my mess, my problem… simple as that!!

DD had originally hoped to have her wedding in the UK but the costs just kept spiralling…both DD and her other half come from large families and have a huge circle of friends. They just want a simple yet special day that is void of all the politics and expense that seems to keep escalating as the plans have progressed. Their plans now include a very scaled down guest list (just 25), the cost of the wedding is a fraction of what it will have been in the UK and obviously the honeymoon is all part of the package. So far the proposed guests seem to be open to shared villas (those that can accommodate 10+ people) so that should help to keep costs down for those who choose to travel.

…. So here’s my plan….any over payments that would have been thrown at the debt will now be channelled into the wedding fund…this pot will be used to fund my fares, accommodation and costs for the trip. This shouldn’t affect my DFD other than to see it stay where it is. DD wants a very simple dress…those she’s looked at so far are priced at about £300-£400 new (I’m sure we can do better second hand if needed). If I cut my clothing budget to virtually nothing, and reduce my shopping budget by £25 a month I should have enough to pay for the dress.

DD and OH are also hoping to hold a garden party at their home late summer next year for those who aren't invited the wedding ceremony….just a big old ‘burgers & sausage BBQ’ with everyone invited, I’ve offered to make the salads and puddings and use my MSE learnings to ensure that the food and drink purchases are made at the lowest cost possible....and yes....I'm starting to get really excited now!!!

Many thanks again for your comments....they have been a huge help in allowing me to put this all into perspective xx

Brighton_belle

Sounds a great compromise OP:T:T So glad you can feel excited now and look forward to it all. And well done to your DD & OH for finding the right way for them out of the spiralling costs scenario.

May2013

Brighton_belle wrote: »

We are getting married next month and it is going to be a very simple affair,costing us not a lot. But we are marrying each other in front of those who love us most, therefore it is still going to be full of joy and happiness and therefore great memories. We don't need all the modern wedding industry trimmings to make happy days or memories.

Sounds perfect....hope you have an amazing day!! xxx

victory

I am really pleased for you:D