Second baby on way, what will benefits be?

black-saturn

So are you saying that single parents arn't allowed to have relationships now? Just because your seeing someone doesn't mean they are living with you or contributing to the financial side of your life. If what's said about the 3 night rule is true - i.e. even if he doesn't stay there at all you are still deemed as being in a relationship which is frowned on by the benefits agency. Then what you are effectively saying is that lone parents arn't allowed to have a romantic attachment at all.

Graham_Devon

black-saturn wrote:

So are you saying that single parents arn't allowed to have relationships now? Just because your seeing someone doesn't mean they are living with you or contributing to the financial side of your life. If what's said about the 3 night rule is true - i.e. even if he doesn't stay there at all you are still deemed as being in a relationship which is frowned on by the benefits agency. Then what you are effectively saying is that lone parents arn't allowed to have a romantic attachment at all.

If they are in a relationship how can they be single!?

Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that if your in a relationship your not single. If your not in a relationship your single.

If this was a casual thing, he wasnt the father of her baby etc and they saw each other twice a week, maybe a little bit different.

The fact he works, owns a house and shes not working claiming benefits and getting her house paid for and claiming other support is a bit wrong really. Like she says, they are in either house together most of the time.

Might have been fine when it was casual, but the relationship has moved on a bit now.

It's also his baby, so why should she be single when she's with the father of the child?

Being single, when shes with him is fraud. Simple really.

black-saturn

I'm not just talking about the OP. I'm talking about lone parents in general.

I have a boyfriend who lives 180 miles away. he has sole custody of his own children and rents his own accomodation there and pays his own bills. He doesn't contribute to any of my household bills at all. My children are not his, they are from a previous abusive relationship. So are you saying that if I were on benefits they should stop because I have a boyfriend?

Just because the OP is pregnant it still doesn't mean that she is in a lasting stable relationship.

Zziggi

black-saturn wrote:

I'm not just talking about the OP. I'm talking about lone parents in general.

I have a boyfriend who lives 180 miles away. he has sole custody of his own children and rents his own accomodation there and pays his own bills. He doesn't contribute to any of my household bills at all. My children are not his, they are from a previous abusive relationship. So are you saying that if I were on benefits they should stop because I have a boyfriend?

Just because the OP is pregnant it still doesn't mean that she is in a lasting stable relationship.

Nope, but it sure shows she is in a sexual relationship with him.


I guess it depends on how much time he spends at your house and how much time you spend at his. If the senario is something along the lines of he spends 3 nights at yours, you spend 3 nights at his and then one night you both do your own thing, then it does look like a a couple and because you are working and he is not then you choose to keep seperate home. In this senario maybe there are questions over his benefits and maybe you should support him (in this senario).

However having a bf living 180 miles away is a bit different to having one that allegedly lives 7 doors down in the SAME street.

I do know of a situation where single mum of 4 lives in one house and her sister lives 2 doors down. Single mum used to have a boyfriend when but split up and now boyfriend has moved in with a friend who lives next door to his ex. The single mum's sister lives in the next house along. Apparently the sister (also a single mum) and the ex-boyfriend are now a going out together. A strange set up in my eyes, no idea about the benefits angle on all this so none of my business. BTW they are all council houses.

Broken_hearted

On the paperwork to the benefits office she will be single, whilst many do not agree with what she is doing she isn't breaking any rules.

skintio

I'd just like to say that some of the posts/comments on here have made me feel really bad.. I only wanted a bit of advice and basically youve made me feel really ashamed, and basically like a piece of cr*p..

I havent said me and my partner arent going to live together, ive only known im pregnant for a week and one day.. how much could i off changed in that time, im still getting used to the idea that im having another baby.. It is not as simple as me and him just moving in together today, he cant just leave his mum, he has a mortgage too, is he meant to move into mine and then start paying my rent etc bills on top of his? We have to sort alot of things out and this will take a bit of time, does nobody understand that?
I dont simply want the state to just keep on paying for me, why do you think ive been at college for the last nrly 2 years slogging my guts out, just so i can sit on my !!!, i dont think so.. I am gutted that it has messed up my prospects but im not prepared to get rid of a baby because of this, its not the babies fault and we will have to work it out with the new baby, im so sorry everyones elses lives are perfect.
I have posted about my private life on here when all i wanted was an answer to a question, i didnt want everyone to know my personal business and i am quite embarassed that ive had to do it (and dont say i didnt have to, else i wouldve of just been slated even more if ppl didnt know id been on the pill etc), I just feel really disheartend now and im not going to post again on this thread as you have all aready made your minds up.
Me and my partner will work things out and im sure we will be really happy, thanks to everyone who said congrats or wished us luck. x

edit : so if he lived 5 streets away or other side of town would it be different, i cant help that he lives 7 houses down, i didnt know him when he bought the house!

Graham_Devon

black-saturn wrote:

I'm not just talking about the OP. I'm talking about lone parents in general.

I have a boyfriend who lives 180 miles away. he has sole custody of his own children and rents his own accomodation there and pays his own bills. He doesn't contribute to any of my household bills at all. My children are not his, they are from a previous abusive relationship. So are you saying that if I were on benefits they should stop because I have a boyfriend?

Just because the OP is pregnant it still doesn't mean that she is in a lasting stable relationship.

180 miles away is a different analogy. Are you round each others house all the time? I doubt it. Is this boyfriend a father of your child?

So let's take your stance on this. Tell you what, why don't all families do this exact same thing!

The boyfriend / husband lives in one house that is mortgaged, he goes to work etc. The wife / girlfriend 'claims' shes single and goes for a council house / flat and get's all that paid for, gets paid to look after the children, gets another roof for the both of them, the father doesn't have to spend as much of his wages on baby stuff, as the state pays for it.

I must remember that one.

It's called fraud. No two ways about it. You CANNOT be single for financial and benefit purposes, but be together when it suits you.

Explain to me how your a single mother when you are in a relationship with the father!? That is utterly ridiculous.

Any bloke who decides to get into a relationship with a female who has a child knows full well what he is entering into, so he cannot say 'shes single' when it comes to the kids but 'shes with me' when it comes to making new babies and then 'shes single' when she has his baby yet they are still 'together'.

She wont move in with him as she knows full well money will be tighter. It's all nice and rosy at the moment, though it is, fraud.

I'm not in any way being nasty to the OP. I'm actually arguing with the above poster! But its better she finds out now than later down the line when someone reports her/him. Regardless of the situation, they cannot claim shes single, but shes not.

Broken_hearted

Yes congratulations having a baby won't stop you achieving your goals.

black-saturn

skintio wrote:

I'd just like to say that some of the posts/comments on here have made me feel really bad.. I only wanted a bit of advice and basically youve made me feel really ashamed, and basically like a piece of cr*p..

Sorry if anything me or anyone else has said has made you feel bad. i hope nothing I said did.

The other posters are so self righteous that anyone would think they had never had sex out of wedlock.

Hope your pregnancy goes well and that you are very happy.

Graham_Devon

Broken_hearted wrote:

On the paperwork to the benefits office she will be single, whilst many do not agree with what she is doing she isn't breaking any rules.

How?! She is in a relationship with the father! They are together, they just dont physically live full time together.