Second baby on way, what will benefits be?

black-saturn

Graham_Devon wrote:

How?! She is in a relationship with the father! They are together, they just dont physically live full time together.

Still not breaking any rules though. No one can force anyone to live with someone.

lottee

skintio wrote:

I Have just re-read what you wrote and noticed you think im single, I am not single, just because my partner lives over the road does not make me single, we have been together 2 years so id hardly class that as on my own, and the reason we dont live together is because we choose not to and it works beacause his house is literally 7 down from mine.

This was what the OP wrote at the beginning of the thread. I am now officially hacked off. So, I ask again, I work during the day, if my husband decided to work nights, I wouldn't be sleeping with him iat night in the same bed, & I would rarely see him. Does that put me in the same category as her I wonder? No, of course not, we made a mistake, we decided to get married after the birth of our son, buy our own home & both work. Damn.

Don't get me wrong, I know everyones circumstances are different, but come on!

skintio

nothing you said black-saturn, i just wish people would see that sometimes everything is not so black and white and that im not trying to defraud anyone, or beat the system, just trying to live my life and sort out this situation the best i can x

Broken_hearted

Graham_Devon wrote:

How?! She is in a relationship with the father! They are together, they just dont physically live full time together.

Exactly they just sleep together maybe go out/stop in. I understand it's unfair especialy to all those who work to fund it, but there is nothing anyone can do. It is up to their morals how they behave.

Graham_Devon

black-saturn wrote:

Still not breaking any rules though. No one can force anyone to live with someone.

To the Op: I'm not aiming any of this at you, I'm just baffled as to how someone can be single when they are actively with the father of the child!

I wish to argue with black not the op

Black if this is the case, then why do people even bother struggling to bring up their kids on the husbands / boyfriends wage while the mother chooses to stay at home bringing up the childen? (Right to bing up children at home in my eyes).

Infact, why should I bother declaring my wages? Why don't I turn my job into a hobby and claim income support as I have no job?

Tell me where the difference is. The 'hobby' would suit me as I get two incomes, and as it's a hobby, I wouldn't be breaking any rules. (of course I would, but this is basically the same as saying your single when your actively with the father of your child and claiming your single)

Graham_Devon

Broken_hearted wrote:

Exactly they just sleep together maybe go out/stop in. I understand it's unfair especialy to all those who work to fund it, but there is nothing anyone can do. It is up to their morals how they behave.

Good point. Never thought about the last bit. I just get so infruriated when we on this board, many in debt working themselves to the bone to get out of it, paying their taxes etc and then someone comes along and says (again not the op here) 'It's ok to be single, reapt the benefit system rewards, but be in a relationship with the father and have seperate houses, 1 owned by the state and paid for by those working themselves to the bone day in day out.

I know having children requires working very very hard. But, famlies have to do both. It's not fair for one family to be doing this and another, just cus 1 goes to work be a lot worse off because the other family are taking a cut of their wages.

black-saturn

All the OP did was have sex out of wedlock. Are you all telling me you have never done that? Only the very prim people of the modern world havn't. She got pregnant by mistake as she was on the pill and doesn't want an abortion. To be honest I don't want any more children but I don't think I could go through an abortion either. I think she's very brave to go through with another pregnancy also though. It could happen to anyone. But it doesn't mean that she has to live with the father.

skintio

i cant win, im sure many people go out with someone but dont live together, i can see why people think things must change now im pregnant and i dont disagree with that but before i found out i was expecting we just 'went out with eachother', i kept my daughter and me saperate from the me and him realtionship if you get what i mean, he didnt proivide anything for us and we kept things simple , we had a realtionship and that was that... he wasnt ash's dad and i didnt want him to be, i have had a bad experience before with her dad and i didnt want to get that involved with somebody that seriously again, he had his life and i had mine, why does nobody get that... anyway i said before im not posting on this thread again and im not.. everyones entiltled to there opinion and im not going to spend all day arguing my lifestyle.
edit : and i dont live in a council estate as i have stated before.

Zziggi

The fact the OP is pregnant is not really the issue. It has probably just been the trigger to investigate the situation and take stock of the situation. Being pregnant just proves to the DWP, neighbours & everyone else that she is in a long-term sexual relationship with a man who is not supporting her.

Even if the OP wasn't pregnant, the fact remains that she has said herself she is in a 2 year relationship with this man. It's just the man doesn't live with her because he has a mortgage elsewhere.

She is in a relationship with a man and it is now obvious she is in a sexual relationship with him. AS i understand the DWP rules, you do not technically have to live with the partner to be found to be part of a couple. Therefore it could appear that for 2 years the OP has been claiming as single whilst in a relationship with a working partner. The fact she is now pregnant just adds weight to the case because it proves the relationship is not platonic but also sexual.

I do understand how it is difficult to move from starting a relationship to moving in together and this is made more difficult when one person is on benefits as it is difficult to define the dividing line. But 2 years on, pregnant by the man, spending alot of time with the man. Then stating that the situation is difficult because he has a mortgage and that she likes her own independence (by the taxpayer).. hmmm I would worry about how it looks.

To the OP: if the situation gets anonymous people on an internet board cross & angry about abuse of their tax money, how do you think neighbours etc will feel when they become aware of the situation? I'd really worry about the fraud dept. inviting me in for an interview.

black-saturn

I think it's good that the father wants to provide financial help in some way. Thats more than my kids father does :rolleyes: