Second baby on way, what will benefits be?

lottee

I had sex out of wedlock, I got pregnant, I had the child,

I got married, I work, I pay my way.

Ok, so marriage isn't for everyone & I'm not having a go at the OP, just talking generally - which probably isn't a good idea during such a heated debate!

Zziggi

This is not directed at the OP, just using the example.

black-saturn wrote:

All the OP did was have sex out of wedlock..

No she didn't.

She didnt just have a one night stand which would be an example of just sex out of wedlock.

She had sex with a man that she is in a relationship with (whether in or out of wedlock). Completely different.

It is the "in a relationship" which is the issue not the sex. Having sex and being pregnant are just extra issues that show there is a relationship there. Being pregnent proves a sexual relationship.

You can be classed as in a relationship (therefore a couple) for DWP purposes and not have sex. sex is not the issue.

black-saturn

So no ones allowed to have a boyfriend and have sex with him now? The issue here is that she isn't living with him - end of.

My advice to the OP would be to log out of this board now and concentrate on having a happy, healthy pregnancy instead of reading all this squit.

Zziggi

black-saturn wrote:

So no ones allowed to have a boyfriend and have sex with him now? The issue here is that she isn't living with him - end of.

My advice to the OP would be to log out of this board now and concentrate on having a happy, healthy pregnancy instead of reading all this squit.

What is the point of being deliberately obtuse and going off on a tangent just to carry on the argument?

Broken_hearted

black-saturn wrote:

So no ones allowed to have a boyfriend and have sex with him now? The issue here is that she isn't living with him - end of.

My advice to the OP would be to log out of this board now and concentrate on having a happy, healthy pregnancy instead of reading all this squit.

No the issue is everyone else is paying and I'll bet that if there was no welfare state she would be living with him. Also it would be helpful if you followed your own advice and took 10 mins relaxation away from this thread.

lottee

No, the issue is she stated she has been with a guy for 2 years, is now pregnant with his child & is asking what she is entitled BECAUSE they don't live together. All of us posting 'squit' are just a little hacked off, as most of us probably go out to work & don't get half of what she does.

black-saturn

Broken_hearted wrote:

No the issue is everyone else is paying and I'll bet that if there was no welfare state she would be living with him. Also it would be helpful if you followed your own advice and took 10 mins relaxation away from this thread.

Excuse me, I'm working and popping back on here inbetween tasks.

Graham_Devon

black-saturn wrote:

All the OP did was have sex out of wedlock. Are you all telling me you have never done that? Only the very prim people of the modern world havn't. She got pregnant by mistake as she was on the pill and doesn't want an abortion. To be honest I don't want any more children but I don't think I could go through an abortion either. I think she's very brave to go through with another pregnancy also though. It could happen to anyone. But it doesn't mean that she has to live with the father.

It's a 2 year relationship!!!! My god! It's hardly having sex out of wedlock, so stop preaching!

welshcakes

black-saturn wrote:

The other posters are so self righteous that anyone would think they had never had sex out of wedlock.
QUOTE]
Looking thorugh the thread, I think you'll find that many of 'the other posters' including myself have provided very supportive advise and useful suggestions to skintio AS WELL as pointing out the face discrepancies to her entitlement.

Threads regarding benefits often diversify in a general discussion, dissection and debate of scenarios including the pros and cons of current legislation. I don't see how bringing to light the current rules (and the greyness of some of them) is in anyway self righteous; declaring other posters to be such, when they are attempting to drive toward accurate interpretation of the benefit rules, is ironically self righteous in itself.

Skintio, perhaps a baptism of fire as they say but I urge to to keep posting or at the very least keep up to date with the ongoing information on this site as it can be invaluable in revealing what is and isn't allowed, the most effective way to approach problems and most importantly, how to legitimately save money!

jo_b_2

skintio wrote:

I'd just like to say that some of the posts/comments on here have made me feel really bad.. I only wanted a bit of advice and basically youve made me feel really ashamed, and basically like a piece of cr*p..

Me and my partner will work things out and im sure we will be really happy, thanks to everyone who said congrats or wished us luck. x

Apologies for being amongst those who replied to the thread but didn't have the courtesy to wish you luck with the pregnancy. (Although I posted to correct a misconception around benefit entitlement, rather than to judge your lifestyle.)

If you head over to the Families board, you will find a lot of mutual support and advice around the pregnancy on the MSE Pregnancy Club and won't be judged on your circumstances or choices.

Good luck.