Second baby on way, what will benefits be?

alwaysskint96

Well I dont live with the father on my youngest child- even though we have been in a relationship for 8 years- and nobody has ever slated me for it. Or is it just because the OP receives benefits? Surely its peoples personal choice how to run their lives?

welshcakes

On a general note alwaysskint96, I agree that it is an individual's profound right to elect how they chose to lead their life and what their personal priorities and aspirations should be. I additionally feel these choices and actions should remain within the bounds of self responsibility and social accountability (if one benefits from living within a social set up, one must accept the rules and expectations of that society).

So there is an expectation from society that individuals who accept benefits also acknowledge that they have a duty to make every effort to limit and where possible reverse the 'burden' they represent on the fiscal system. That is where I find the most emotive controversy is rooted. Where an individual is not in a position to support themselves and accepts the assistance of the benefits system, onlookers will get restless and feel the right to pass comment on benefit receivers when they continue to select 'personal choices' that require further funding by the taxpayer.

My parents taught me if you can't afford it, you don't get it (which is thankfully why for many years I have avoided getting into debt as a result of Christmas spending).

I think people get frustrated when they have worked for years and years in order to earn the luxury of chosing their lifestyle -v- seeing others make choices that put them in a position where they haven't been able to and still can't contribute and then they continue to make these sort of decisions because someone else will pay.

lottee

alwaysskint96 wrote:

Well I dont live with the father on my youngest child- even though we have been in a relationship for 8 years- and nobody has ever slated me for it. Or is it just because the OP receives benefits? Surely its peoples personal choice how to run their lives?

Not sure if you are referring to my post or not... As I said above, I understand that everyones circumstances are different & TBH, I would like to think that if at anytime I needed extra help - as no one knows what is in store, there would be something in place to help me provide for my little one. Of course it is up to the individual on how to live their life.

IMO, I believe that things should be looked at differently, & decisions as to what you are entitled to are not just based on income, your outgoings should be looked at also. - Whether you rent or own your own home. I know this is no ones fault, it is just my own personal view. To me it seems that if you are a couple who work & own your own home, you seem to get 'penalised' - if that is the correct word to use.

Finally, apologies to the OP, as I know this is not answering any of the original questions! I prepare to be shot down, but hey if we all thought the same, it would be a boring world!

welshcakes

lottee, I can understand and agree with what you mean by 'penalised' in the sense that the UK system is not entirely set up to motivate or encourage people to knuckle down and create their own wealth.

In general, I have found over the years and erosion of the values that promoted self responsibility and betterment and this is reflected in many avenues of the benefits allotment with a great many loopholes of which an increasing number of people are taking advantage. I don't think one can entirely blame society and that it is the result of both governmental complacency, a new endemic attitude of younger generations and PR-crazed European directives.

JohnInDebt

skintio wrote:

also i like having my own money even if its not alot, im quite independant

You don't have your own money and you are not "quite independant", you're dependant on the tax payer.

I'm sorry but you appear to be living apart from your partner purely for financial reasons so that you can claim as much as possible from the tax payer.

rich_in_norwich

JohnInDebt wrote:

You don't have your own money and you are not "quite independant", you're dependant on the tax payer.

I'm sorry but you appear to be living apart from your partner purely for financial reasons so that you can claim as much as possible from the tax payer.

Welcome to every council estate in the country JohnInDebt.

kelloggs36

lottee wrote:

Not having a go at anyone, honest. I know everyones circumstances are different, & hey I may need some help one day - no one know what around the corner....

But... Kelloggs, IMO it comes down to the old 'if you're married/live with your partner & work then you get NOTHING!!!' Don't get me wrong, I don't need anything extra given to me (although I wouldn't turn it down;) ) but it still gets my back up! As I said above, not having a go at anyone, if the payments or benefits are put in place, then of course people are goin to claim then.

I feel better now!

And they should when they are genuinely entitled to them, not just because they want some extra cash because living with their partner may make them worse off - tough luck, that it life and it aint fair

It gets my back up too that married people (like myself) get bog all!!! However, her situation is that she wishes the state to pay for her decision to have another baby. The Welfare State was NOT set up so that we can all choose to be supported by the state because we don't want to lose a bit of money or our independance. It was set up for those genuinely in need which she was until the point where (whether planned or not) she became pregant. She is in a committed relationship and therefore must live as such - if not in the same house (totally her choice) but do not expect the state to pick up the tab. I may as well move out of my house where I live with my husband and children (one of whom is from my previous husband, so similar to the OP). I will be entitled to claim Housing Benefit etc, etc, etc but it is immoral to do so. That is the bottom line. If the OP wants to have some financial independance, then she needs to earn the money herself. Once baby is born then there is no reason why she can't do this. This may be considered as a collusive situation and the OP could possibly lose her benefits anyway.

On the other side, the boyfriend has it cushy, doesn't he? None of the responsibilites of bringing up a child if the OP remains separate in terms of households. He is the father and has rights to be as included as possible in its upbringing. Seeing it every day is not the same as living with it (and I only call it 'it' because the sex is not known).

BTW if anybody on Income Support spends JUST ONE NIGHT with her partner, then she is not a single parent. Difficult to prove but if she says she spends the weekends with him or other way round then she isn't single in law and as such needs to send in her IS book or cancel it as she is no longer entitled.

kelloggs36

alwaysskint96 wrote:

Well I dont live with the father on my youngest child- even though we have been in a relationship for 8 years- and nobody has ever slated me for it. Or is it just because the OP receives benefits? Surely its peoples personal choice how to run their lives?

You can do what you like provided that you do not expect the taxpayer to pay for it! That is the point!

lottee

kelloggs36 wrote:

BTW if anybody on Income Support spends JUST ONE NIGHT with her partner, then she is not a single parent. Difficult to prove but if she says she spends the weekends with him or other way round then she isn't single in law and as such needs to send in her IS book or cancel it as she is no longer entitled.

Well said Kelloggs, well said! All of the above post is spot on. And don't even get me started about what you said about a partner staying even one night, & then still claiming to be a 'single parent'...! In other words, if my OH worked nights, could I claim to be a single parent? He isn't technically there in bed with me each night is he...? I know, I know - I'm just being awkward now! Oh well, thats life & as they say life isn't always fair...

Scarlett1

be nice to all money savers.......