Grrrrr my DS

stargazer59

I had one of those letters from the school nurse a year ago, it said my son was "overweight" on reading it he had slipped into the overweight category by 1 pound! He was nearly 12 then. My grandson is the same age ( !!) and wears clothes 2 sizes smaller than his age because of his tiny waist and he brought home the same letter!

I have found that over the first year at senior school he has shot up and has not an ounce of fat on him, sport at school helped, also he discovered BMX ramps and spends hours doing tricks on his bike.

Please try not to worry too much, they do have growth spurts at this age, if he eats fairly healthily and food is not made into an issue i am sure he will lose the weight.

My son eats far more than me and yes he eats pasta, rice, potatoes, but he burns it off .

jayII

Nicki wrote: »

No, not yet. If I can't get him to stick to the plan, I will have to do. I wanted though to try to get him on board with understanding healthy eating and exercise, and not stigmatize him too much by making it a medical issue with GPs and dieticians on board. Someone earlier accused me of giving him a complex about his appearance, but that is what I am desperately trying to avoid

You know yourself and your son best, but I would be worried that this is (potentially) to big an issue, and the long term consequences too serious, to be managed without expert help.

I would approach it as I would approach any other health problem in my child (in front of the child anyway): calmly state that something isn't right, and we need help from the doctor to deal with it.

mildred1978

Nicki wrote: »

Thank you very much. Being university educated, I do understand what a centile is, but your clear explanation is nonetheless appreciated.

As childhood obesity rates are running rampant in the UK (25% for boys) being in the top 15% of children his age is cause for action, no?

University educated or not, a lot of people don't understand it.

I would have thought it should be monitored, yes, but to be honest the way the NHS view child weight confuses me greatly.

Off topic (slightly) but my son (just turned 1) is 50th centile for weight and 75th for height. A friend, who shares the same health visitor and GP, has a daughter 2 weeks older, who has been off the top of the scale (by 20%) since she was about 3 months old. At 1 she weighs the same as the average 2 year old, but is within the normal range for height. Our health visitor appears to be unbothered (or dare I say impressed). I wonder at what point it will/should become a cause for concern..........??

poet123

You are right to be concerned but it will be partially puppy fat. From age 12-15 one of my sons was "chunky" he wore school trousers designated "sturdies for the bigger boy"!!(he will kill me if he reads this!) but by 15 it had all disappeared and now at 22 he is waist 30, and perfectly in proportion for his height.

Take it steady and try not to make too big a deal about it. He will have lapses, but when the growth spurt kicks in it will even out his weight.

jayII

Nicki wrote: »

Thanks JayII. His dad and I are both following the same plan as he is, and we log our food together every night and compare how much exercise we have done. His brother and sister have exactly the same meals as he does and don't snack in front of him, but are allowed snacks as they both tend to be underweight.

We've promised him football tickets for 6 weeks good compliance (doesn't have to be perfect but needs to be a good effort). And we will be taking them swimming weekly from now on. Cycle rides are tricky as a family as his DD 10 has learning difficulties and can't ride but is too heavy to go on the back of an adults bike. Walking though is an option.

Personally, I wouldn't do the logging with an 11 year old, it might be making him over aware of it all. But you know your child best.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with your DS and DD 10. Does your DS get 1:1 adult time? That's very important to do, if at all possible. Spending 1:1 time with a parent or other significant adult really improves kids' self-esteem, especially at that age, and improving self-esteem can help with weight issues.

ETA: good luck, raising children really is the hardest job in the world!

Nicki

Thanks poet! The description of your DS's trousers made me smile.

I'm sorry if I am tetchy on this thread. Feeding your child properly is such a huge part of being a mum. I'm not one of these people who stuff my kids full of turkey twizzlers and sunny delight and I am gutted he has a weight problem to be honest. I'm not sure whether I've found it harder to read the posts today which say I am starving him, or those which say I have caused his problems. I am just trying to do my best to give him the best nutritional start, and when I know that he needs to reduce his weight, it is frustrating when poster after poster who have not seen him, and haven't taken into account he is almost a stone overweight for his height, tell me I am overreacting.

Gillyx

Not sure how much help this will be but I remember my Gran telling me of how years ago all the growing men in the family were given a bowl of home made chunky veg soup before dinner to fill them up so they wouldn't eat as much at dinner (because they had so many mouths to feed and not a lot of money) and even now the majority of men in my family have a bowl of soup before dinner, every night. Not sure if this is a Scottish thing or not though

If he genuinely isn't hungry though, then there wouldn't be a need for this I don't think

gunsandbanjos

Nicki wrote: »

Thanks poet! The description of your DS's trousers made me smile.

I'm sorry if I am tetchy on this thread. Feeding your child properly is such a huge part of being a mum. I'm not one of these people who stuff my kids full of turkey twizzlers and sunny delight and I am gutted he has a weight problem to be honest. I'm not sure whether I've found it harder to read the posts today which say I am starving him, or those which say I have caused his problems. I am just trying to do my best to give him the best nutritional start, and when I know that he needs to reduce his weight, it is frustrating when poster after poster who have not seen him, and haven't taken into account he is almost a stone overweight for his height, tell me I am overreacting.

I think you're doing great Nicki, well done for addressing it before it becomes too much more of an issue.
I see so many parents with overweight kids who dismiss it as 'puppy fat' when in fact their children are grossly overweight (not saying your son is BTW).
Have you looked at Slimming World? Can't remember who it was but one of the mums on the SW thread had taken her son along to class and he was doing really well. You might not want to take him to class but you can follow the plan without going to class.
I follow the SW plan (only have about a stone to lose) and i really enjoy it, got my hubby on it too. He was so sceptical as he didnt think he could lose weight eating what we got to eat on SW but he has lost over a stone in about 4 weeks.

Sambucus_Nigra

Nikki - knowing the devious nature of my brother at that age - are you sure he hasn't sold the oyster card to buy snacks?

Spendless

Nicki wrote: »

I don't know how many times to say his weight and his ideal weight were calculated by the school nurse. Not google or the Internet, though the nhs website verifies what the school nurse said.

He isn't just eating chicken! He just happened to have it twice in one day as we were going out for a picnic for lunch. Since Monday, he has also had beef, fish, cheese, ham and bacon, and eggs. And baked potatoes, wholemeal bread, etc.

As for harming his self confidence, we are trying very hard not to. He raised the issue himself more than once, because he finds it hard to find jeans which fit over his thighs, and because he compares himself to other children in the playground and sees he is fatter. The point about trying to address this before he starts a new school (or at least start to address it) is to help with his self confidence not harm it. Noone wants to be the fat kid showing their mobs while changing in front of a class of strangers!

My friend is an nhs dietician and agrees he needs to lose weight. I will run the menus past her, but as I have said I have already researched them well. They were created by a nutritionist, which I am not sure is the case for weight watchers and slimming world which some people have recommended here. For those, who say they would be starving on them, would it be cheeky to ask whether you are all of normal heights and weights? I am 5 6" and weigh 10.5 stones (so BMI around 23) and I am not in the least hungry eating exactly the same quantities as my DS is having.

Do you think this is his size or is it his shape? I have the same problem with my DS who has 'rugby players' thighs. At the beginning of the year he had to have new school trousers and with nowhere having much school uniform out, we ended up in Next, explained the problem and they got their tape measure out. Turned out he needed age 16 to fit in the width, but then they needed turning up due to length, all the staff though said to me 'I'd never have guessed at that size looking at him'. When you say he is a stone overweight, is there a from and to range (the same way there is for adults)? If so, is the stone overweight from the top end of that range?

Some foods make me feel a lot fuller than others, for example, if I have an egg for breakfast I am full until lunch even beyond that.