Grrrrr my DS

bluenoseam

Yeah i'm pretty sure there'll be some form of sports club local to you which could deal with any weight issues, but like most people have said, he's a growing child and if you're already on at him at 11 you're going to do more harm than good to his self confidence, i'd understand if at 16 he had "about 12lbs" to lose (is this medically verified or internet - Google is NOT medically qualified) but at 11 it's sort of worrying to me.

Then we come into the fact you're feeding him good healthy food, i get it, but chicken twice a day is a bit OTT, particularly when you're not accounting for something which could have a much wider ranging effect. What is he drinking in an average day - that is, exactly what is he drinking in an average day, not just when Mum's around to get him to drink OJ/Water/Squash? You'd be surprised how quickly a couple of cokes will add calories onto the total, could that perhaps be where the problem stems? I recently stopped drinking carbonated drinks and switched to diluted juice (since my tastebuds are wrecked water doesn't taste "right" to me) and in the space of 4 weeks since switching i've dropped just under 5kg combined with a bit more walking. You do however need to realise that to an 11 year old kid, chicken twice in a day is going to get boring very quickly - and well, when he gets to high school he's not going to be eating that!

Importantly though, i would seek medical advice, if they believe him to be "at risk" they will arrange a nutritionist who will give you balanced menus which are varied and designed to avoid the feeling of hunger as well as provide information as to sensible excersise routines. Do you have a games console at home, if so then while they're not exactly the best forms of it, you can pick up several "active" games which can give structured fitness programs - although again, i would seek medical advice before advocating these for a child.

Finally onto the Oyster card, he's 11 years old - why the heck was there £30 on there anyways? I'm 27 and i don't walk around with £30 in my wallet ordinarily, so why would you effectively do that with your son? I understand transport in London isn't cheap, but at the same time it's also a lot easier to set up payment online in much smaller increments. It seems to me like you're forgetting something though, he's ELEVEN YEARS OLD, he's still a child for petes sake, i know and understand that you have other kids with issues which demand a lot of your time and attention, but have you forgotten the fact that he's a child himself and as a result shouldn't have to deal with that responsibility? I'm perhaps going to bat on the side of the kids because i'm younger and i remember at 11 while i was probably more responsible than most (for my own reasons) but ultimately accidents happen - without seeming like i'm preaching at you ultimately it's common sense, in future even if you have to set up a DD to pay £10 a week onto it then do it, would have saved you atleast £20 this time round for what, 5 minutes work?

Hopefully though you'll see this as constructive - not all 11 year olds are the same, sometimes mistakes (even with adults) happen and if any of us can honestly stand here and say we haven't lost a key, wallet, bank card, pair of glasses or whatever then i'll congratulate you on being inhuman!

mildred1978

jpwhittle wrote: »

weightwatchers is great for kids as nothing is forbiden, like someone above said, youl be suprised at the amount he could eat. it simply makes him fill up on fruit and veg rather than carbs. Dont get me wrong i know carbs can be awefull, i struggl alot with my weight when im eating them but he does still need some

Fruit and (most) veg are carbs.

Mrs_Arcanum

Don't cut down at breakfast time as this is the one time you can eat knowing it will be burnt off. The evening meal and bedtime snacks are the ones that keep weight on. I have managed to get DS to shape up a bit over the summer by encouraging him round to a friends with a swimming pool and not having biscuits & snacks in the house.

escortg3

You say he is not hungry but yet he is complaining about portion sizes.

So he is hungry. Pehaps he is saying he is not just because he knows that is what you want to hear.


You also say that "I was providing healthy home cooked meals, and allowing him to regulate how much rice, pasta, potatoes he had with his meal"

Instead of cutting these things out completely perhaps you would be better off with you controlling how much you put on the plate.

Nicki

I don't know how many times to say his weight and his ideal weight were calculated by the school nurse. Not google or the Internet, though the nhs website verifies what the school nurse said.

He isn't just eating chicken! He just happened to have it twice in one day as we were going out for a picnic for lunch. Since Monday, he has also had beef, fish, cheese, ham and bacon, and eggs. And baked potatoes, wholemeal bread, etc.

As for harming his self confidence, we are trying very hard not to. He raised the issue himself more than once, because he finds it hard to find jeans which fit over his thighs, and because he compares himself to other children in the playground and sees he is fatter. The point about trying to address this before he starts a new school (or at least start to address it) is to help with his self confidence not harm it. Noone wants to be the fat kid showing their mobs while changing in front of a class of strangers!

My friend is an nhs dietician and agrees he needs to lose weight. I will run the menus past her, but as I have said I have already researched them well. They were created by a nutritionist, which I am not sure is the case for weight watchers and slimming world which some people have recommended here. For those, who say they would be starving on them, would it be cheeky to ask whether you are all of normal heights and weights? I am 5 6" and weigh 10.5 stones (so BMI around 23) and I am not in the least hungry eating exactly the same quantities as my DS is having.

Nicki

escortg3 wrote: »

You say he is not hungry but yet he is complaining about portion sizes

So he is hungry. Pehaps he is saying he is not just because he knows that is what you want to hear.

No, he is complaining about portion sizes before he eats, not afterwards.

He is getting potatoes, rice, etc. It just happened that on the day I quoted, his starchy carbs were all wheat based. The day before though he had a baked potato for his tea.

There is clearly a groundswell who feel that parents should not act of their children become overweight which perhaps goes some way to explain the epidemic in childhood obesity. I agree the optimum is not to get into that situation in the first place, but that is not where I am. Thanks for all your opinions, but I am not prepared to let him become clinically obese with all the health risks that brings. I don't think I'm being obsessive, but I do feel some of you are giving irresponsible advice. I appreciate the wellthought out opinions but think with respect I will continue to plan my meals based on QUALIFIED advice, rather than the view of random mums on the internet.

Gillyx

I honestly think it's a male thing, my OH is 23 almost 24 and he hasn't grown out of eating massive portions. I spoke to his mum (who is a school/community nurse and deals a lot with diet etc) about it and she said both him and his brother were the same, and that boys from the ages of 11-21 need ALOT of food. Obviously not junk or loads of carbs, but I find even now if we're having chicken breasts I need to give OH 2 or 3 if they're small, but I won't up the amount of potatoes on his plate.

My OH isn't hugely tall or anything either.

escortg3

I am 5ft 7 and and 10st 1, making my bmi as 21.7 and to answer your question, yes i would be hungry.

Children become obese either by sneaking food, a medical problem or we feed them to much.

Not once have you said that he has been to his GP to be checked out to make sure that there is nothing medically wrong with him.

There have been issues with school nurses telling or sending letters home to parents saying child is obese and child has not been. I would be wary of the school nurse to be honest, his GP is the best person to speak to.

the_cat

As stated before I am a size 8 (weigh about 9 stone 4lb) - height 5'5" so my BMI is errr low twenties I think, but I don't keep track that much tbh. I do masses of sport though, so that would keep weight down. It will also increase my appetite!

From the extra info it looks like you are doing a good job - good idea to check with the nutritionist though just to be sure. At a guess if he has not been at home and with family/at camp/on hols, perhaps his eating has not been exactly as you would have wished for the last few weeks? So he could have got used to more food and espec a few treats etc during that time? Plus as you say exercise has been sporadic. Maybe you will have a breakthrough once this has settled back to normal

I was under the impression that the ideal for a growing kid was not to lose weight though? Unless they have changed their advice! Rather the aim is for them not to put on weight whilst they grow, so they sort of grow into themselves IYSWIM? With this in mind, remember you may not see results for a longish time. Kids grow in spurts as I'm sure you know. Mine have had spells of up to a year without a noticable change in their height. Keep at it and don't get disheartened by comments..... they are all well meant and may contain useful info, even if with the limited info on here we will obv get it wrong in some instances!

rachbc

Nicki wrote: »

He would probably have had a large portion of rice or pasta with tea, and a couple of biscuits with his milk at bedtime. But breakfast would have been smaller, either cereal or toast.

We did buy a meal plan for overweight teens developed by a nutritionist, and this was one of the daily menus on it. I have also looked at other suggested options on the internet and its not out of kilter with what most suggested plans are. The trouble with letting him loose on carbs is that he has no portion control at the moment, and given free rein would easily eat a double portion of pasta or rice. That then triggers an insulin rush to process it, making him hungry again sooner than a protein and veg based meal would do. I suspect his overindulgence on carbs is what has led to him being overweight in the first place, as other than a couple of digestive biscuits for supper, he didn't eat a lot of sweets or treats beforehand.

Unfortuantely you don't need any professional qualifications to call yourself a 'nutritionalist' so thats not a guarentee its any good!

Compared to what my 13 year old would eat at that age its really not much so I suspect he is hungry. If you really don't want him on carbs then you need to fill him up on other stuff so increase his protein portion sizes, add more veg and get him exercising.