Grrrrr my DS

Nicki

Massive vent coming up as my DS (11) is driving me potty today.

First issue, he is a bit overweight. We have been trying not to make too big a thing of this for a while, but he is plump and attempts to get him to cut down have been unsuccessfully. He knows this too and isn't happy with his shape. So we sat him down, worked out a healthy eating plan for the week, plus some exercise and some healthy snacks (all agreed with him in advance) and he started on Monday. He's got about 12lbs to lose or grow into to get him back to a healthy weight for his height.

Since Monday, he has moaned constantly about lack of sweets and portion sizes. He didn't even usually eat sweets every day, so why its suddenly become an obsession I'm not sure. I am eating exactly the same portion sizes as him and am not hungry so don't think that's a legitimate complaint either, but him being a bit greedy is what has got him where he is now!

For example yesterday he ate

B half a muffin, a poached egg, one slice bacon, one glass orange juice
L chicken salad sandwich and apple
S chocolate milkshake (made with skimmed milk and options powder)
D chicken breast in lemon sauce, asparagus, fruit salad
Glass of milk before bed

Which I think is a perfectly reasonable amount of food for an 11 year old with a weight problem, and exactly what I had myself, except I didn't have the milkshake but had a cup of tea myself.

The next issue is that he has lost his Oyster card :mad: he's only had it for 6 months and I told him when we got it that he had to keep it in his money box so that he would always know where it was. We have a toddler in the house, and a 10 year old with learning difficulties so anything left lying around is liable to be picked up and transported somewhere strange. Of course, he didn't bother and its now lost. We've spent 3 days turning the house upside down, so in addition to the fact that everywhere he has searched is now a mess, and the inlaws are coming to visit for the BH weekend so I will need to get it shipshape quickly, we also have the inconvenience of the fact that I need to get him a new one. He had £30 credit on the one he lost, and a replacement will cost £10 so it's quite an expensive bit of carelessness. At the moment I am so cross I am threatening to take it out of pocket money until repaid, but he is about to start secondary school (none of his friends from primary are going to the same school) and he will need some spending money if he wants to go out with new friends when he starts.

Just feel so annoyed wih him at the moment!

escortg3

Well done for trying to get him to eat healthy.

All i would say is there is not very much carbahydrates for a growing lad.

chicken breast in lemon sauce, asparagus, fruit salad. Pretty much think i would be hungry aswell after this.

Perhaps it would be better to take him to his doctor and get them to set up a meal plan for him.

newcook

I think the bit regarding sweets is like forbidden fruit – I started weight watchers this week and although I rarely eat chocolate its all I want because I know it will kill all my points!!

For the dinner/lunch can you pile the plate with loads of veg? its low in calories, very filling and its good for you! Don’t forget that although you are having the same portion size, he is getting on for being a teenager where they seem to be like a human dustbin for food!!

gingin_2

How much of a difference is that menu plan from what he would have previously eaten?

mildred1978

I wouldn't be giving skimmed milk or options to a child. The nutrients in milk are fat soluble so removing fat makes it far less nutritious. He's not got much iron in that menu either. Can he up his exercise to free up some calories?

Darlyd

Can he do Weight Watchers? You be surprised on the amount he could eat doing that. I am sure there are a few children doing it from the WW boards. (https://www.weightwatchers.co.uk).

What about some babybel light? I buy these for the kids, and they also love my ww cookies, ww mashmallows, Skinny cow lollies etc.

Nicki

gingin wrote: »

How much of a difference is that menu plan from what he would have previously eaten?

He would probably have had a large portion of rice or pasta with tea, and a couple of biscuits with his milk at bedtime. But breakfast would have been smaller, either cereal or toast.

We did buy a meal plan for overweight teens developed by a nutritionist, and this was one of the daily menus on it. I have also looked at other suggested options on the internet and its not out of kilter with what most suggested plans are. The trouble with letting him loose on carbs is that he has no portion control at the moment, and given free rein would easily eat a double portion of pasta or rice. That then triggers an insulin rush to process it, making him hungry again sooner than a protein and veg based meal would do. I suspect his overindulgence on carbs is what has led to him being overweight in the first place, as other than a couple of digestive biscuits for supper, he didn't eat a lot of sweets or treats beforehand.

heretolearn_2

It doesn't sound anything like enough for him to eat, I'm not surprised he is hungry.

You need to forget about him being on a diet. You just need to get him to start eating the right amount so he doesn't put any more weight on and wait a few months for his height to catch up. Putting him on a 'diet' and starving him to make him lose weight isn't going to work and will just make him more obsessed with food. Growing lads do eat a LOT and get very hungry - the problems happen when they eat a lot of the wrong things.

I'd be hungry after that and every boy I've ever met :-) That dinner especially doesn't have much to 'fill you up'. What's wrong with a jacket potato, or boiled new potatoes, or a portion of rice/pasta to go with it? It doesn't have to be chips. Carbs get a bad press wrongly, they are filling and actually not high calorie - it's the toppings/sauces that cause the problems. He needs a lot more than you are giving him, to be honest, otherwise he's going to be hungry and stuffing his face on chocolate and crisps behind your back.

I know you want to do right. If you are eating healthily then feed him that and watch out for snacks and unhealthy stuff - some is fine and you can't expect him to cut them out altogether, but not every day. Why a muffin for breakfast for example? These are just cakes by any other name...a cake for desert a couple of times a week might be nice, but cakes for breakfast? Along with one miserly rasher of bacon and an egg. He'd be better off with a nice bowl of non-sugary cereal mixed with some fresh fruit, or a yoghurt (will he eat natural yog? so to avoid all the sugar in low-fat ones). And then boost his lunch a bit with a boiled egg as well as the sarnie and fruit?

Darlyd

Nicki wrote: »

He would probably have had a large portion of rice or pasta with tea, and a couple of biscuits with his milk at bedtime. But breakfast would have been smaller, either cereal or toast.

We did buy a meal plan for overweight teens developed by a nutritionist, and this was one of the daily menus on it. I have also looked at other suggested options on the internet and its not out of kilter with what most suggested plans are. The trouble with letting him loose on carbs is that he has no portion control at the moment, and given free rein would easily eat a double portion of pasta or rice. That then triggers an insulin rush to process it, making him hungry again sooner than a protein and veg based meal would do. I suspect his overindulgence on carbs is what has led to him being overweight in the first place, as other than a couple of digestive biscuits for supper, he didn't eat a lot of sweets or treats beforehand.

A lot of people have that problem with carbs, when eaten get hungry pretty much quickly. I am one of them.

It's easier said than done for people to say, whats wrong with pasta, jacket potato etc, well in my experience, I can eat a whole saucepan of pasta and still be starving. .

What about red days from slimming world OP? All unlimited protein but you do have some carbs as healthy extras, such as 2 slices of certain bread, certain cereal, and I am sure some potato, for the fibre.

Nicki

When I said muffin, I meant a wholemeal English muffin, not a cake! So a savoury carb, with the same nutrients as a slice of toast or a bagel!

We don't eat chips much in this house, and if we do at all, they are oven baked. I have been married 22 years and have never in all that time owned a deep fat fryer or deep fried anything

Your suggested options heretolearn are what he was previously eating, and what have caused the issue. He has been carrying this weight for the whole school year, and has not grown into it, hence why we do need to do something now, otherwise he will start secondary school with a significant weight problem round his neck, which will hold him back in lots of ways. Whilst i haven't discussed this with his GP, I did speak to the school nurse, and some friends who are medical professionals, including a dietician. His BMI is 29, and has been for the whole year, and this does need to be reduced for his own benefit.

Nicki

Just to add, I have asked him if he is hungry, as if he was, then I would find extra healthy things for him to eat, and he has said that he is not, and that he is enjoying the food. His issue is that because he likes each meal he would like to eat more of it. On the treats, it is because it is summer holidays and he wants to spoil himself to the full. Yesterday it was hot and he wanted ice-cream, hence why I made him a low cal, low fat milkshake instead, and today he is going to the cinema and wanted to be able to eat popcorn!