Bad Bad Booby

savingholmes

kissjenn wrote: »

It is so frustrating when the hospitals muck it up. I find it worrying that I've maybe got it horribly wrong interspersed by terror that they really don't care. So what if they have to open me up twice...ahem...it's a really big deal and I care a lot. Seems to be no thought that I'd like my life back and I need to earn some money.

We are in the right KJ - hospitals seem to just consider their own needs not the patient - they talk about person-centred approach but seem to have no concept or plan of how to achieve it. Obviously - you are a single parent - and have a career and want to get on with your life as soon as reasonably practical - normal

And then I feel amazingly guilty because we're so lucky that we have this service and get such cutting edge care, it's just a pity they don't finish the job properly - does that make any sense?

And then, I start thinking about older people or people who are afraid to speak up and question them. What happens to them, are they expected to cross their fingers and hope the chaps have done their homework?

Course it does - I meet so many people who as patients have had a really raw deal which worries me:eek: - of course we meet as many or more that get a good or okay deal and we ignore them....:rotfl:

Sorry - end of doom and gloom ... we have a date, for the right procedure, all will be well Dates are good

Hope all goes better next time SH. Do you have a date yet?

The consultant thought it would be within a couple of weeks or so. I'll let you know when I do.

chevalier

saving holmes I hope that they will reimburse you for your travel expenses yeah right!

kissjen well done on being assertive. I think it is very hard sometimes to be an equal partner when going through something like this.
chev

taxi73

great that you now have the date for op.

mooomin

Ach jeezy peeps, I missed this entire thread.

So sorry to hear about the cancer, but woo for tumour shrinkage (if such a thing can be woo-worthy)

I did get your text an age ago, but was sh!te and didn't reply due to lots of things going on off-boards. Methinks we both need coffee sometime soon....

Good wishes and happy thoughts from Fresian Towers. Xxx

mooomin

Had a quick scan of your thread and saw you mention your laptop conked out.

Did you get it fixed? If you need one in the meantime I have a spare (!!) as I just bought a new one. It's not the greatest machine, but it has internet and Office (and is purple)

Let me know if you want it, I can drop it off with you sometime as I have a car now :j :j :j

kissjenn

Hello all.

Beanie, SH, Chev and Taxi - thanks especially for the support with the surgeons. Must admit I've spent the last few days navel gazing but I think I've come to terms with it all now. It feels much more real and serious than chemo...chemo is invisible and didn't change the fundamental me...excepting the baldy bit. This is physically altering the way I look. Surgeon loves pointing out I'd pay a fortune for this in the real world, but truth be told even if I won the lottery I'd never have spent it on this. I think the plastics guy understood better although it was done by a serious of strange looks we kept giving each other. He's only contracted to do 5 surgeries a week for the NHS and everything else is private. I'm glad he's doing it but I don't feel I've won the golden ticket that the consultant keeps whooping about. Hope that makes some sense.

FF - lovely to hear from you again and hope all is well in Fresian Towers. Thank you so much for the laptop offer but I've managed to get one up and running, the other one requires life support. Very dubious about giving to someone to look at as they all seem to be conmen and would prefer a local recommendation. Meet-up def required...I'll drop you a text and let me know what suits.

Other stuff:

Well the above mentioned intraspection threw up things I've known for years but always tried to avoid, ignore, overlook or simply forget. Difficulty is I can't now so I've had a long talk with Small Boy about the future and things I think he should know. I'm going to ask my dad to gift the house directly to the boy, everything I own will be his anyway and this sidesteps one chunk of inheiritance tax as it will never be part of my estate. I'll give exOH last chance to take portion in lieu of flats but if he still maintains he wants to hold on to them, then SB gets the house and becomes his de facto landlord (that'll be fun).

The will will be finalised in New Year once house ownership established. In the interim my current possessions go to SB. He is far stronger than I've given him credit for and I don't think he needs further advocacy beyond the solicitor and accountant. In fact I'm seriously considering giving him the Power of Attorney so he can make decisions I previously thought he wasn't ready for. In addition, I need to ensure he has a will on the back of all of this.

SB now knows exactly what support he can expect from the family should the worse happen. He knows his father will try and move in and will bleed him white. He knows his uncle will try and take an advisory role which will be purely to his uncle's benefit. He knows his grandfather will do whatever best serves his grandfather...that's a wild card. If it also COINCIDENTALLY serves SB then great, if it doesn't then being his grandson will offer no protection. Telling my son he is effectively on his own among the wolves was hideous but if you know to look for big eyes and big teeth then you're far less likely to be eaten. He will be more of a match than they ever imagined and every extra day I have gives me more time to teach him and protect him.

On a practical front, Tesco kindly delivered all the washing liquid, fabric softener, dog food etc need until Christmas. We're going into the loft tomorrow to get Christmas stuff out and lights checked.

And finally, SB has picked the destination for our dream holiday. I promised him anywhere in the world...lets go for it...cancer is kaput (hopefully) trip. Very provional timeline is in a year for about a month. Destination - Australia. Think I def need a job again 2012!

mooomin

kissjenn wrote: »

FF - lovely to hear from you again and hope all is well in Fresian Towers. Thank you so much for the laptop offer but I've managed to get one up and running, the other one requires life support. Very dubious about giving to someone to look at as they all seem to be conmen and would prefer a local recommendation. Meet-up def required...I'll drop you a text and let me know what suits.

Mr F has a friend with a computer repair shop in Leith and one on Nicolson Street or thereabouts. He's very nice and not at all conmanny.

Barney (the purple laptop) is still languishing in Fresian Towers though so the offer is still there if you need it.

Any time suits me apart from a Wednesday as that's when I do Fat Club

kissjenn

FF - I've got to go up Nicolson Street way on Thursday. Could you let me know what the shop is and I'll pop the machine in to him. Many thanks for knowing someone unconmanny...I attract them.

Do you fancy a catch up next Tuesday night (29th November)?

mooomin

kissjenn wrote: »

FF - I've got to go up Nicolson Street way on Thursday. Could you let me know what the shop is and I'll pop the machine in to him. Many thanks for knowing someone unconmanny...I attract them.

Do you fancy a catch up next Tuesday night (29th November)?

Will check with Mr F and let you know

Tuesday should be fine for me, just let me know when and where

beanielou

Wow, big credit to you for tackling the SB issue in such a rational way.
All credit to you.
& I so dont mean that in a patrionising way in the slightest.
Lump in my throat.