Bad Bad Booby

taxi73

tut tut to driving and doing too much

kissjenn

Tired, bored, tearful, full of nervous energy, nauseous and anxious.

I'm all over the place...not enjoying the sensation.

Have just booked a weeks holiday at a cottage near Oban though. Planning some island hopping and lots of fresh air and wildlife. SB and Husky are coming too. Grandad is in charge of kittens. Gawd help us all.

So next two week til I go will be spend getting paperwork up to date, packing and planning. It will be good to be away from hospitals and the like for a while.

taxi73

feel exactly the same so can sympathise with you..holiday sounds just what you need x

kissjenn

The days feel so long here. 3 days since I posted and feels like weeks.

Not sleeping well so been out and about doing little walks but I end up with the jitters rather than calm and peaceful. Still crying on anything that moves.

Spoke to GP last night and Macmillan Nurse today. Both have referred me for counselling to try and help calm the anxious feelings. Stomach feels like it's full of lead shot. Both are ok if I see two counsellors, a genral one through the GP and a specialist cancer psychologist through Macmillan.

Good points though are that I'm off virtually every medication so that may be contributing to the twitches as I've been on sedative-effect meds since February, fed into me 24/7 by a syringe driver. They stopped for the first time on June 10th when I had surgery and then I was on the post-op pain meds for another 10 days or so. Looking at that written down, it's no bloody wonder I've got the shakes and cry constantly.

I don't drink so no danger of me starting and going down that route. Don't smoke either, so hopefully once my body de-toxs a bit, that will help my moods stabilise.

Other suggestion from Macmillan Nurse was to take up yoga...never done that before but willing to give anything a go. I'll go looking for a very beginner class this afternoon.

Kittens still eating, growing and causing chaos, how can that not cheer me up

taxi73

big hugs..it's all so awful and can truly empathise with how you feel xxx

kissjenn

Good things for today...

I've handed in counselling form to Health Centre
Taken Husky on a walk
Started looking for a yoga class

beanielou

Baby steps.
Keep plodding xxx

kissjenn

Up at hospital doing the rounds today. Saw surgeon today and the good news is that they got clear margins around the only tumour they could see. Frightening bit is was only 4mm away from my chest wall so glad they got it out when they did.

They found a seroma on my back under the wound site so that's been dealt with and now, coward that I am, I'm hurting.

Letter just in from Council. A tenant moved out without telling me on 31st May. Now they want me to repay the housing benefit for June. I'll be appealing as I believe it's his debt, he's the one who moved out and told noone. :mad:

Trying to make a yoga booking...venue making it difficult by not answering their phone.

kissjenn

Booking made...I will be yoga'ing on Tuesday then having a week away to recover :rotfl:

beanielou

Happy yoga'ing
Chair yoga for me Friday.