Where there's muck there's brass

Eager_Elephant

Christ Ruby!!!! I guess that expenditure did not help the £10 a day challenge :rotfl:

So did he fall over or was he hit by something/someone?

Who had the other DS'?

I seriously think you need to think about writing a book about your life - it's like a soap, there's so much drama :T

Northern_Lassy

Hello Ruby x Hope you don't mind me popping by, I just wanted to say I think your house rules are inspired and I might steal a couple of your ideas if I may ??! Hope DS1 is feeling better and that you are finding some time / ways to take care of yourself (because you sound lovely) xx

RubySewSew

Oh Eager - its put everything behind! Was meant to be having a budget shopping week and instead its been expensive daily trips, school dinners and bribes! He banged heads with another child - they collided in the playground! The other kid is fine! You will be amazed that the ex-h had the boys yesterday, picked them up from school and fed them AND had DS1 today! Is it wrong that I am suspicious?! DS1 is much better today and desperate to get back to school to show off his shiner! It has gone bright purple now and is still closed up. And everything has hit the fan at work because of the lack of first aid and ambulance! There is definite segregation in the staffroom!

Northern Lassy lovely to have you here. My boys are 10,8 and 6 so relate that to the ages of your children. I can always help you tweak if needs be but please feel free to use them and share them. It's what I do (very well ) at work but it is much harder at home! Language of choice is really helpful (rather than talking about good girl, bad boy etc) it allows the child to understand that they can choose to change the behaviour and don't have to be defined by it. We also have individual journals so I can jot down whenever I notice that they have done something kind or helpful etc

I think I'm giving up for this week. Funeral tomorrow and work on Friday and then kids at the weekend. So, in the interests of being fair to myself I think I need to kick back a little bit, let this week settle down and start again next week. If anyone has a number for the housework fairies can you let them know that I would really appreciate a visit?!

RubySewSew

Ok well the week has gone from bad to worse. But before I go on let me reassure you that I am fine. DS1's accident has been pretty dramatic and worrying. It's only on reflection that I have realised how serious it was/is and it has caused a complete stir at work because it has forced a review of first aid policy and procedure which unfortunately further emphasises the division between staff making us out to be the bad guys

Then I broke my moomin bowl that my dad bought me for my 30th birthday. It cost 20 quid so I can't replace it. It's only a bowl but i loved it

And yesterday was my lovely gp's funeral. I don't know how to explain why I am so devastated that he is gone but it was so unexpected and he was so pivotal and supportive and stabilising and he has been the most dominant and consistent presence over the last 10 years. He's been a good friend. So on top of the strain of going to his funeral alone I found out that it was suicide. It pains me so much that such a wonderful man who did so much to help other people was unable to get help for himself. And what do you do when the man supporting you with your depression takes his own life? I really desperately miss him and my heart aches for his wife and children and even his parents. What a waste of a wonderful life. I say this with absolute affection but daft !!!!!!!

So financially this week is a right off. Emotionally this week is a right off. Hygienically this week is a right off! But, life is too short. Too, too short. And it was my fab gp who taught me to change the things you can change and leave the things you can't.

So I'm gonna focus on being positive. I'm gonna focus on supporting and raising my children. I'm going to ask for help cleaning up and sorting out. I'm going to focus on the fact that I'm alive and I'm doing ok and that actually there is a path through this and that makes me very, very lucky.

Eager_Elephant

RubySewSew wrote: »

Oh Eager - its put everything behind! Was meant to be having a budget shopping week and instead its been expensive daily trips, school dinners and bribes! He banged heads with another child - they collided in the playground! The other kid is fine! You will be amazed that the ex-h had the boys yesterday, picked them up from school and fed them AND had DS1 today! Is it wrong that I am suspicious?! DS1 is much better today and desperate to get back to school to show off his shiner! It has gone bright purple now and is still closed up. And everything has hit the fan at work because of the lack of first aid and ambulance! There is definite segregation in the staffroom!

Hmm why is ex being so helpful all of a sudden - nothing to do with the divorce/maintenance at all

Hope DS is much better now.

Eager_Elephant

RubySewSew wrote: »

Ok well the week has gone from bad to worse. But before I go on let me reassure you that I am fine. DS1's accident has been pretty dramatic and worrying. It's only on reflection that I have realised how serious it was/is and it has caused a complete stir at work because it has forced a review of first aid policy and procedure which unfortunately further emphasises the division between staff making us out to be the bad guys

Then I broke my moomin bowl that my dad bought me for my 30th birthday. It cost 20 quid so I can't replace it. It's only a bowl but i loved it

And yesterday was my lovely gp's funeral. I don't know how to explain why I am so devastated that he is gone but it was so unexpected and he was so pivotal and supportive and stabilising and he has been the most dominant and consistent presence over the last 10 years. He's been a good friend. So on top of the strain of going to his funeral alone I found out that it was suicide. It pains me so much that such a wonderful man who did so much to help other people was unable to get help for himself. And what do you do when the man supporting you with your depression takes his own life? I really desperately miss him and my heart aches for his wife and children and even his parents. What a waste of a wonderful life. I say this with absolute affection but daft !!!!!!!

So financially this week is a right off. Emotionally this week is a right off. Hygienically this week is a right off! But, life is too short. Too, too short. And it was my fab gp who taught me to change the things you can change and leave the things you can't.

So I'm gonna focus on being positive. I'm gonna focus on supporting and raising my children. I'm going to ask for help cleaning up and sorting out. I'm going to focus on the fact that I'm alive and I'm doing ok and that actually there is a path through this and that makes me very, very lucky.

There is always something hard about coping with the death of a friend/acquaintance when they have committed suicide, and obviously for your GP who was there to care for others it is so sad that he was unable to ask for help.

I love your last paragraph - let's take the positives from this and keep on climbing up - it's what your GP would have wanted for you.

Hope you have had a good weekend without too much going on

RubySewSew

Hey Eager, Hey Guys. Thanks for messages Eager. We did manage a nice weekend actually. DS1 took himself off rollerskating Friday night which allowed the other 2 some freedom and peace and quiet. Friday night the ex-bf came to the rescue with a bottle of wine as I had run out and also fed me some proper food and gave me a shoulder to snot and sob on after the emotions of the week. He's a star really. And no, he didn't stay the night. Saturday we orchestrated a bit of a tidy up (got the bathroom and kitchen gleaming just don't look anywhere else ). DS2 had a taster session at local drama academy which he seemed to really enjoy. Again, it gave the other 2 some freedom and some peace and quiet. DS3 had a birthday party that we all went to and everyone got along fine. It was really quite nice and normal. But I have to be honest, I did throw some money at it. I'm so fed up with the kids going without all the time and always saying no and things always being so bloody hard.

On Sunday the ex-bf came over again and bought and cooked roast for us all. It was nice to chill out and the boys had fun. And after dinner we sat down and taught DS3 how to play Rummy. It was really nice just to chill out.

Today has not been so good though. I don't really know why. Trying to get grips with the finances, with the mess. Feeling depressed. Back in a bit> IT support just arrived

RubySewSew

Ok, I said I was going to be positive. And I was for a whole weekend !! So I need to pull myself together and change one thing. So, which thing will it be....?

RubySewSew

Hmm, well today is shaping up differently to how I expected. DS3 was sick in the night so I'm home with him today. It gives me another days breathing space to get over myself a bit and get on with some stuff. Might even brave the pile of post and check my bank balance!

RubySewSew

Right. Okey dokey then. Well, I checked the bank balance. Good news is my mortgage has been paid which I was really expecting to bounce. Bad news is I have £12 to last me 10 days. I have got 2 cheques totalling £30 that I can pay in. I don't have any fresh fruit or veg, am low on bread and cereal and will have to be very, very creative with meals for rest of week.

I still reckon that with a bit of very careful planning this can be done. If I sell some eggs at school that will be £1 per half dozen. I can get some stuff on ebay which won't help this month but should pave the way for next month. I have money on account with farmers choice so I can order some meat and fish. I have got some coins stashed I could change up. I also have Tesco clubcard vouchers and Nectar points stashed if I get really, really desperate. I wouldn't usually spend them on groceries but might have to.

I do have 2 more school trips to pay for but can do this in instalments.

Any other ideas for scrimping, saving, selling or income boosting appreciated!!