Where there's muck there's brass

RubySewSew

.......’s behaviour contract....

For making good choices and following the house rules....
Friends round to play, call for friends, watch BBC iplayer, stay up later at weekends, play outside, films on the laptop, time on the internet...

For making choices that hurt or upset somebody else or break the house rules....
Mum will calmly say,

“This is your warning. If you choose to carry on with this behaviour then you will be choosing to lose one of your privileges. Do you need to go away and calm down or do you need some help to make a better choice?”

Signed

.....................................
.......................................


Again, I don't know if this helps but it has definitely stimulated useful discussion and facilitated consistency!

RubySewSew

Just had an email from the ex-h that this contract impinges the children's human rights. No wonder teh children are confused!

Eager_Elephant

RubySewSew wrote: »

Just had an email from the ex-h that this contract impinges the children's human rights. No wonder teh children are confused!

What a noob!!!!! (add a k at the start and lose an o :rotfl:)

Are the boys that perfect with him that he does not notice there are issues :mad:

I'm sorry to hear you and bf have split - I don't think you mentioned it outright on your diary but did hint to issues ((Ruby))

If I actually got a weekend evening to myself I would either come on here and gain inspiration to sort my finances or I would watch something either TV or DVD that I would not have a chance to watch when the children are at home.

Or some proper me time can you have a bit of a pamper and chillax weekend?

RubySewSew

I can do all those things Eager but I tend to get a bit antsy in my own company for too long. What I really want to do is go out dancing! I really like to get dressed up, go out be sociable and really have a good dance. Nights out cost so much nowadays though. I'm sure I used to have a lot more fun on just a tenner!

Anyway, just dipping in really quickly to let you know that the universe is smiling on me. Just popped into Tesco to get some bits for lunch tomorrow and noticed some reduced flowers. I was getting excited about some mangy old carnations reduced to 30p (I don't even like carnations!) when I noticed 2 beautiful boxed bouquets in mint condition reduced from £10 to £1. So I've just bought 20 quids worth of flowers for 2 pounds!! :) And to share the joy I made a late night visit to my friend who is having a rough old time and gave her one of the bouquets! Got a cup of earl grey (have had boring old pg for ages - too many boxes bought on promotion to get blinking monkeys!), a big hug, a lot of support and a big smile on my face. Double bubble!

I didn't mention about the bf because it is all a bit sad and a bit raw. He is still very much in my life as we move towards a place where I get to have a fantastic, funny, generous friend. I'm really ok about it because it has been a long time coming and I still get to have him around. Hey ho, that's life as a grown up isn't it?

RubySewSew

Oh and Eager, pity me - I'm still married to this noob!! :rotfl::rotfl:

chevalier

I think the contracts are fine. And I would echo the other poster who asked if the boys are perfect for your ex? Or does he think that sort of excessive raging behaviour is normal?
If you think bankruptcy is not the route for you, then what about a DMP?
chev

Eager_Elephant

Oh Ruby - if you lived near me I would come out dancing with you :rotfl:

Eager_Elephant

chevalier wrote: »

I think the contracts are fine. And I would echo the other poster who asked if the boys are perfect for your ex? Or does he think that sort of excessive raging behaviour is normal?
If you think bankruptcy is not the route for you, then what about a DMP?
chev

Hi Chev

I don't want to step on Ruby's toes but in case she doesn't get back on today I can confirm that Ruby is doing her own token payment DMP which in turn has freed up a lot of money for her basic needs.
She cannot have a full blown DMP as she does not have enough spare cash to offer a realistic payment.

I think you had mentioned bankruptcy before, as Ruby said she has too much equity in her house for this but also she would still be left with her student loans (which I know don't have to be paid back until she is earning enough).

RubySewSew

Thanks guys! Eager has got it covered on the DMP front Chevalier. At the moment my 'disposable income' (such as it is) is allocated to legal fees . Once the stupid divorce is sorted I can start moving forward and dealing with the debt more effectively. For now token payments will have to do.

As far as the boys are concerned the ex reassures me that he has no problems with their behaviour. He has also inferred that it is all me, that I must be causing the problem. It is perfectly usual for children to fight the person who is safest to them. It's what I deal with at school all the time. There is another major difference in that they can eat what they want when they want, watch as much TV as they like, go to bed whenever, play out until all hours, use the internet indiscriminately etc etc... when they are with their Dad. I don't know, I wish I had the answers.

Right, I am absolutely full of cold. I have a fasting blood test first thing followed by a sauna with friends (timing couldn't be better!) and then a weekend to myself. *sigh of relief*

Right now I'm so grateful to be part time!

RubySewSew

Ex has just emailed to say that he is buying the boys new uniform for his house and deducting the money from next month's maintenance. Have emailed solicitor but can't continue to keep my head above water at this rate.