Am I overreacting?

euronorris

SandC wrote: »

Yes but you did say you were notorious for it, which led us to think that in a group situation everyone is usually there on time - but you are not.

Anyhow, c'est la vie. It wouldn't work for me because it is one of my bugbears. I am early for everything, often to be found sitting in cars waiting or aimlessly looking in shop windows.

Same here. And I'm sure that stems from my Dad always (and I mean always) making me late for birthday parties and the like as a child, because he either wouldn't leave on time, or decide the oil needed to be changed 2 mins before we're due to leave, or he didn't check the address or a map, nor did he bring one etc etc etc. I don't know why he did/does that (he'll still do it now), but it was almost like a concious effort on his part to be late. I hated it! It's not cool to be late to a birthday party when you're that young! You just miss out on lots of stuff.

So, now I'm always early, except for very rare occasions.

OP - I'm wondering if your mate is actually in a great deal of financial difficulty (and possibly in denial herself). You mention that she's often skint, despite earning more and having (perceived) lower outgoings than you. So it's possible she's agreeing to stuff, because she really does want to do it, but when it comes to paying, she can't actually afford it. Could also explain why other social events are accepted instead (perhaps they are cheaper, or someone has offered to pay).

I had a friend do something similar, and it was driving me nuts. I really thought she just didn't want to see me, but turns out she and her OH had run up a lot of debts, and were trying to repay them as quickly as possible. She thought she'd be letting us down by saying no to stuff, so she just agreed and then cancelled later.

It's a shame, I understand where she's coming from. But I wish she felt she could have been honest with us. It would've saved a lot of heartache on both sides.