Male Friend Problems

totheleft

DUTR wrote: »

Have you been sleeping with this guy?

No way. We are just really good mates. No feelings involved. Everyone used to think he fancied me but I didn't see it or feel it myself.

DUTR

totheleft wrote: »

No way. We are just really good mates. No feelings involved. Everyone used to think he fancied me but I didn't see it or feel it myself.

Well it seems like scheming gypsy's plan is not so bad after all
probably not a full on naked pic but make it look accidental, of course that is after trying the letter writing thing 1st, but unless he is *** it is 50% of the reason men love women and for some it's the 1st 50%

totheleft

DUTR wrote: »

Well it seems like scheming gypsy's plan is not so bad after all
probably not a full on naked pic but make it look accidental, of course that is after trying the letter writing thing 1st, but unless he is *** it is 50% of the reason men love women and for some it's the 1st 50%

Haha, people thought he fancied me but I didn't feel it so he might not appreciate the picture. Plus he would never expect something like that from me so he probably think I am desperate. And trust me, I ain't that desperate

I don't know his address, to write him a letter. He won't appreciate it. I wrote him a email but got no reply so it's the same really. He's quite stubborn.

scheming_gypsy

he sounds like me but i don't think i've fallen out with anybody lately.

neverdespairgirl

totheleft wrote: »

Yeah but it wasn't that big of a deal or secret. People were going to find out he had a argument with the boss anyway. It was already getting around. I would have forgiven him if it was the other way round.

Oh I don't know. Maybe I'm just making excuses for myself.

I don't think that's quite the point. He asked you, he trusted you, you agreed, and then you broke the trust. I'd be well annoyed too. The fact that you thought it wasn't a big deal is beside the point - it was his decision to make, not yours.

totheleft

Yeah I totally understand why he is annoyed. Hence why I apologised etc.

But I thought he'd be over it as I never intentionally spoke behind his back, tried to hurt him, lied to him etc etc.

All I did was confirm that he indeed had left because he had a argument with a boss. Like I said, I thought people knew. Me acting like I don't know, considering how close we were, would have made me look stupid.

But I totally understand where he's coming from. I apologised. It's not like it can happen again. Plus I've been so trustworthy.

I just want him to get out of his sulk and not throw our friendship away over something that wasn't malicious or intended to hurt. He knows I care for him so much . As you can see, I'm even thinking about it at 4am because I can't sleep.

And he's sleeping like he doesn't have a care in the world because he knows how much I'll be worrying over this. I've got a feeling, this is the end of our friendship.

neverdespairgirl

I'm sure he will get over it - and you did apologise, after all.

Emmzi

if it's the end, it is. sadly, that is not a democratic decision.

so stop grovelling and have some dignity about it.

NickyBat

Why not text him and tell him you don't want to lose his friendship over one stupid indiscretion, your sorry and can you talk, that leaves the ball in his court.

January20

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

and this is why women don't understand us!
it isn't up to you to think it's ok, it's for you to listen to your friend and respect his wishes. If people were going to find out anyway then so be it, he asked you specifically not to tell anybody.
What you've done is tell him that you can't be trusted to keep a secret and respect his wishes. It's about the principle of what you did and not the action.

Actually, it's not just men (although the older I get the more I believe I think more like a man than a woman sometimes ). I would be mucho peeved if a friend of mine had done what the OP did.

He told you something in confidence, didn't want you to tell anyone, why did you think it was ok for your to break that confidence and why did you think you had the right to decide it was time to tell others? It wasn't your "secret" to tell! If you were my friend, I would be very reluctant to tell you anything sensitive in future because I would think you obviously can't keep you mouth shut. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you asked!

Perhaps, he's realised you are not the person he thought you were (that's how I would feel) and that is why he is keeping his distance. It's up to him really now.

Oh and you didn't have to pretend you didn't know. I asked one of my colleagues something about another colleague as they are very close. She said she knew the answer but was not supposed/ allowed to tell. That was enough for me. I respect her so much for being honest.