Male Friend Problems

scheming_gypsy

totheleft wrote: »

Yeah I understand that. I grovelled and apologised. It wasn't malicious what I did. Ive kept so many of his secrets. He's trusted me so many times and I've never let him down. It feels like I have backstabbed him or something.
.

but now he's not so sure.

Just leave him to it; we like the attention so if you're still messaging him and apologising he's getting the attention,. When you leave us alone we start to think you're not bothered about us any more and then we want you to send us messages.

emsywoo123

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Just leave him to it; we like the attention so if you're still messaging him and apologising he's getting the attention,. When you leave us alone we start to think you're not bothered about us any more and then we want you to send us messages.

Thank you! Secret of the male mind revealed

DUTR

totheleft wrote: »

Yeah I understand that. I grovelled and apologised. It wasn't malicious what I did. Ive kept so many of his secrets. He's trusted me so many times and I've never let him down. It feels like I have backstabbed him or something.

I feel like he should have forgiven me now but I've got a feeling he won't. People have done worse things to him at work but he forgives them for it. I just feel really bad and want to him realise it wasn't intentional. He should know me as a person.

Like I said, I would have forgiven if it was the other way round.

Perhaps looking at your further responses, it is not yet the time for him to open back up to you, he thought he knew you as a person by trusting you, betraying trust is a big thing for many, he has to forgive you in his own good time, he may have already forgiven you but feels there is no longer friendship to be maintained as it once was, I suppose you could write to him and explain, you have nothing more to lose

totheleft

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

but now he's not so sure.

Just leave him to it; we like the attention so if you're still messaging him and apologising he's getting the attention,. When you leave us alone we start to think you're not bothered about us any more and then we want you to send us messages.

But I haven't messagesd him since I apologised so he aint getting the attention. He said he was ok so I thought he'd get over. But I still haven't heard from him. He usually initiates the contact all the time...hence I know all is not well.

Do you think he's getting more annoyed that I haven't spoken to him either? I thought it's best to leave him be but I'm not sure now. When we are both on MSN, neither of us have contacted each other. I'm too scared to in case he ignores more or acts distant which will hurt me more . I wish he would just forgive me!

totheleft

DUTR wrote: »

Perhaps looking at your further responses, it is not yet the time for him to open back up to you, he thought he knew you as a person by trusting you, betraying trust is a big thing for many, he has to forgive you in his own good time, he may have already forgiven you but feels there is no longer friendship to be maintained as it once was, I suppose you could write to him and explain, you have nothing more to lose

Backstabbed in the sense that I spoke horribly about him behind his back or intentionally gone out to hurt him. I would never do either of this things and he knows that.

I'm too scared to message him in case I get the cold shoulder. I expected he be angry for a few hours, now it's been nearly 2 weeks!

DUTR

totheleft wrote: »

Backstabbed in the sense that I spoke horribly about him behind his back or intentionally gone out to hurt him. I would never do either of this things and he knows that.

I'm too scared to message him in case I get the cold shoulder. I expected he be angry for a few hours, now it's been nearly 2 weeks!

The lads keep explaining , it is not about you now , people deal with things in different ways, when I suggested writing I meant via snail mail , not electronically

scheming_gypsy

i still think the photo is the best way ahead. you can send it to me first and i'll tell you if it's ok to send..... cos i'm kind like that.

totheleft

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

And there lies the problem, the reason he forgives other people for less is that he doesn't have as high expectations of them, because they're not his best friend.

I would leave him to make sense of it in his head and he'll come back to you.

ETA I also have a male work friend who I adore, love to pieces and hang out with all the time. To the point people at work put 2 and 2 together and come up with 3.5 million.

The thing is, the closer I allow you to get to me, the more hurt I'm going to be if you hurt/betray me. Even if you didn't mean it. If you haven't contacted him since you apologised, try emailing him telling him you miss him, and that you get why he's hurt and you'd like to build up your relationship again maybe?

People used to think we were a couple too. Ah those were the days.

I've done that. I've grovelled and apologised. I told him how dumb I was and much I miss him. How many times can a person apologise without looking pathetic and desperate?

He knows this is hurting me too. I'm just really frustrated with him and mostly myself because I allowed this to happen.

totheleft

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

i still think the photo is the best way ahead. you can send it to me first and i'll tell you if it's ok to send..... cos i'm kind like that.

Haha, at least you are making me smile. Been 2 weeks since I've cracked a smile and a small laugh. It sounds like something he would say.

DUTR

totheleft wrote: »

People used to think we were a couple too. Ah those were the days.

I've done that. I've grovelled and apologised. I told him how dumb I was and much I miss him. How many times can a person apologise without looking pathetic and desperate?

He knows this is hurting me too. I'm just really frustrated with him and mostly myself because I allowed this to happen.

Have you been sleeping with this guy?