Free bar restrictions - right or wrong?

PootleFlump_3

polejunkie wrote: »

Im serving steak just to annoy 4 people?

Was that meant to end with a full stop or a question mark? Cant understand why you would try and serve steak to vegetarians! :rotfl: Im assuming from previous posts its because you dont like them but arent you concerned that your day will be clouded by the fact that you will be seen to be extremely immature by purposely not feeding them something thats vegetarian friendly?

polejunkie

Its only for the sit down, im not trying to serve it to them, they wont be coming.

jtr2803

I wouldn't have a free bar, too many people with too much greed!

I recently went to a £25k wedding and the venue etc was lovely but it was in the middle of nowhere and a vodka & coke set you back £6 :eek: and a coke on it's own was £4. It turns out the Bride & Groom are tee total and it hadn't even occured to them to check the drinks prices! Lots of morning moaning about huge bar bills :rotfl:

I don't anticipate any 'norm' at a wedding, ie drinks with meals etc. I think it's the bride & grooms choice but one that should be made clear to guests so they can budget accordingly.

Chick

As an adult I've been to 3 weddings in England and 3 in France...all the ones in France had a 'free bar' and all the English ones had some wine with dinner but all other drinks had to be queued up & paid for.

I def think there is a big cultural difference...the french weddings all had a champagne reception, wine with dinner, then bottles of spirits & soft drink mixers were put out on a table while the music and dancing really got going- people helped themselves, alcohol or not.

One wedding was in the garden of friends' house, the others were in a hired venue where the couple stocked up the booze and there were staff serving dinner etc- there was no 'bar' as such.

There are big differences I noticed- in France the weddings went on til around 5am and things were more relaxed during dinner, with speeches & presentations between courses...there was no pressure to 'get to the bar' before last orders. All my weddings in England have wound down by 1.30pm at the latest, even when things were still in full swing.

Personally, me and OH (not married, but maybe in the future...) both agree that we would not make guests pay for their drinks. The people coming are our guests, to share the day with us...I wouldn't dream of making them all pay for drinks. Equally, I don't think I'd choose a venue with a paying bar...I'd get down to a vineyard/hypermarche and stock up!!

Addressing the specific Q of this thread- I think it would be right to have some restrictions as I think (some) people can totally take the p*ss, buying multiple drinks, expensive spirits etc. There have been some good suggestions so far...your H2b is v generous to want to do a free bar, but careful it doesn't cost you a bomb.

On a final note re culture differences, in France nobody was crawling round the place in a drunken stupor even at 3am after 8 hours of free flowing drinks. I think there is a perception in England that weddings are an opportunity to get totally trashed- if it's at the expense of the couple, even better.

ps I'm english & lived in London nearly all my life...

SherlockFan85

Hello!

We're definitely not having a free bar at our wedding, as our wedding includes exclusive use of the hotel overnight, all our guests are staying for free! No-one lives more than an hour's drive away from the venue, they are getting 5 different food occasions (canapes, 4 course dinner, buffet, midnight feast and buffet brekkie!) They do get one arrival drink, champagne for toasting and equivalent of half a bottle of wine each at the table, so that's a good 4 drinks there for nothing. Anything else, I'm sure they won't mind spending a few pennies. Plus they are getting a sweetie table too, maybe even an ice cream trike! They probably will need a drink to soak up the food! :rotfl:

I'm teetotal, as is my mum. Not by choice, I take lifelong medication which doesn't mix with alcohol, I had 10 alcoholic drinks between becoming legal and starting the meds! Technically 10.5, not all in one go! Although I have a feeling I'm not missing all that much. OH literally takes an hour to finish one beer. He's a cheap date

elvis86

polejunkie wrote: »

I dont care if it sounds rude, its my wedding. I'l provide free drinks for kids and non drinkers if I like. Its up to the guests to provide for their own alcohol or sneak in their mini bottle of JD, after all I am feeding 1/3rd of them to a sit down steak, the rest to a evening buffet and if they feel the bar isnt up to their liking then they're not the kind of people I want at my wedding. Im not catering for vegetarians either at the sit down dinner which sadly excludes my veggie/vegan/raging alcoholic step siblings. Diddums.

Good grief, do the veggies a favour, wear a meat dress a la Lady Gaga, and give them an excuse to miss the whole thing!

I can't imagine that any wedding venue these days doesn't happily cater for vegetarians, so you've presumably made a conscious decision to be awkward. Nice. I only hope that your "guests" (nuisances) return the favour on the big day.;)

As others have said, if you resent feeding the people that you have chosen to invite to your wedding, why bother inviting them at all? Why not go to some remote island somewhere and get married alone? With any luck, you'll get stranded there and save your poor family and friends (do you have any? Really?) the ordeal of being begrudgingly invited to any more of your "events".:D

SherlockFan85

Wow, guys, we need some love in this room :grouphug:

Personally, I'm an omnivore

joho

rablovesroo wrote: »

Wow, guys, we need some love in this room :grouphug:

Personally, I'm an omnivore

I very much agree! :T

I think we've talked this topic out plenty now. Thanks for your responses - like lots of wedding issues it is one that divides people.

The ultimate answer to my question is obviously - if we want to do it and can afford to, then we can do what we want as it is our wedding. Most people don't expect a free bar; if they get one - bonus; if they don't - ah well, c'est la vie.

:beer:

PootleFlump_3

We are likely to be having a free bar all day and night but reckon we will cap it and tell the bar staff that they musnt serve any doubles or Krug!!

polejunkie

elvis86 wrote: »

Good grief, do the veggies a favour, wear a meat dress a la Lady Gaga, and give them an excuse to miss the whole thing!

I can't imagine that any wedding venue these days doesn't happily cater for vegetarians, so you've presumably made a conscious decision to be awkward. Nice. I only hope that your "guests" (nuisances) return the favour on the big day.;)

As others have said, if you resent feeding the people that you have chosen to invite to your wedding, why bother inviting them at all? Why not go to some remote island somewhere and get married alone? With any luck, you'll get stranded there and save your poor family and friends (do you have any? Really?) the ordeal of being begrudgingly invited to any more of your "events".:D

Oh good grief, again? I am not shelling out £45 per person for some dehydrated nut roast, bit of limp lettuce and goo covered cauliflower. They are vile people who I did not invited by sadly my mum married their father so not much of a way out of it, at my mums wedding my step sister got so drunk she started 2 fights and ended up p2ssing, shtting and vomitting all over herself because she was incapable of walking to the toilet. I dont care if I seem immature, I will do as a damn well please.

Oh and by the way we are getting married on a scilly isle so you never know we might perish in a helicopter crash so that really would be karma for refusing to cater for 4 waste's of oxygen.

GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!