Free bar restrictions - right or wrong?

Debbiecatal

We are having a welcome drink, wine or soft drink on the tables during the meal and the toast all provided free, then we have booked a local pub to provide a bar in the evening (it's a village hall venue). We are paying for the licence, transport costs and the barstaff's wages so that the pub will charge normal pub prices at the bar, not the inflated prices you often get at outside bars. I honestly think this is really fair, we can't afford for it all to be free and I personally always expect to have to pay for drinks in the evenings at weddings.

poet123

I think that perhaps the location and numbers involved does change things slightly, and as you say for a family wedding with varying age ranges then by 11pm numbers will dwindle. However, the wastage of drinks. is a good point, if it is free people will be tempted to get two (to save the trip to the bar) and there will be drink left that wouldn't be if they were paying for it. Human nature I am afraid.

Is there a signature cocktail that you could have free? or failing that a set amount behind the bar would be the way to go I think. Recently there was a case in the news of the groom who set fire to Peckforton Castle after his wedding (whilst the guests were asleep there:eek:) because of a row over the free bar bill!!!

I am sure you will sort it out, and as for his generosity, it is a good trait in a husband!!(just has to be managed properly;))

Lindos is fabulous and I am sure you will have a wedding to remember. Have a great time.

sammy_wheeler

joho wrote: »

BUT, and I bet this changes peoples decisions about the free bar, we are getting married in Lindos, Rhodes! So our guests have travelled a long way and spent a lot of money on our behalf! So I'm okay with a free-ish bar.
Poet123 - it is definitely not the norm in our circle. What IS the norm is for my OH to be overly generous at times. He always ends up buying more rounds than anyone else, he will buy ANYONE a drink no matter who they are or how long he has known them (e.g. complete strangers that he has just got chatting to), will buy people drinks when they don't want one, buys large drinks/doubles when they ask for small/singles etc. I think he thinks people will like him more because he is generous, when really some just take advantage. I can get very annoyed about this topic but, then, his generosity is one of the reasons I love him!

nope sorry- location doesnt change my mind. im going to my best friends wedding next week in cyprus-- and i do not expect her to buy drinks for me- if i can afford to go abroad then i can afford to quench (sp?) my thirst

im a bit sad about what you said about your h2b- and feel that people may think/feel he is a bit of a push over- and take advantage of him- like you said people do. bless him

Sammy85_2

I think a free bar is a mistake and will lead to abuse of it by some.

As a guest i certainly have never expected or seen a free bar at a wedding.

At our wedding we provided 2 x welcome drinks per person which were out on arrival for people to help themselves to (glass of fizz or Pint). Half a bottle of wine per person during the meal (bottles out on tables) and a glass of fizz for the toasts.

Any drinks above that were purchased at the bar by the guests.

Chrissy1981

My OH's dad is insistent on having a free bar, and he is paying for it. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable as most of our friends are big drinkers and I am worrying about how much the bill will come it.

I mentioned this to the venue and they suggested restrictions such as single measures of spirits and small/standard glasses of wine. And no shots. I hadn't thought of the issue of premium brands though so will be discussing this with them when we have our meeting, so thanks for highlighting that!

mirrorimage0

lol im quite surprised that so many have disagreed with a free bar. i certainly wouldnt invite people over for dinner or to a party or bbq and expect them to bring anything so why would i have expected them to buy drinks at my wedding when i wanted them there?

vax2002

Only works if you pay a set fee to the bar, otherwise, how do you keep tabs on what the bar bills you for ?

poet123

mirrorimage0 wrote: »

lol im quite surprised that so many have disagreed with a free bar. i certainly wouldnt invite people over for dinner or to a party or bbq and expect them to bring anything so why would i have expected them to buy drinks at my wedding when i wanted them there?

Dinner at home with a max of 12 guests (who all would, ime, actually bring wine with them regardless of your expectation) or a BBQ for family and friends (again where I would not go without taking wine or beer) is different to a Wedding where guests would not traditionally turn up with a bottle.

I had 300 at my wedding (many years ago!) and my father paid for it all. He took every new arrival to the bar at the evening reception and bought them their first drink, but to pay for the drinks for the entire evening for all those guests would have been too expensive.

ecgirl07

we discussed a free bar or not but came to conclusion that since we had asked for no gifts, and were covering all accommodation costs that people would want to buy us a drink and our parents would want to buy a round of drinks for each other etc. There is something sociable about buying someone a drink that we didnt want to take away from guests iyswim?

so we went with a cash bar after providing all the drink for the meal and milling about bits of the reception.

tryingtobetheperfectHW

Put a certain amount of money behind the bar and that is it!

I used to work at a wedding venue and people can really take the p**s.

I don't know where you having your wedding, or what the prices are, or how many guests you are inviting.

Or what your friends are like as drinkers, but the results can be awful.

I did a wedding with a free bar, I think 80 or 90 at the day and about 150 at night.

Bar bill was around £10,000. Granted there was part of a rugby team there, but the bar bill was probably the same amount as the wedding!!

Which sounds a crazy amount, but really every one could easily spend £60. Think of what you spend on a good night out easily adds up, bottle of wine, few shots, maybe a beer (or three) your drunk now, so maybe a sneaky champagne or a cocktail, then on to the easy to swallow alcopops.

And if some one else is paying, if your beers gone a little flat, you can just get a new one.

People take less care, leave there unfinshed drinks to go dancing, come back and get another..

I wouldn't advise it.

But a bit behind the bar if you really want.

Don't tell people about it, and then its a nice surprise for them, and then when it runs out thats it!

I would never expect a free bar at wedding!!