Free bar restrictions - right or wrong?

Torry_Quine

To throw something into the mix at my wedding we had a 'bar' but it sold only soft drinks, I've seen too many weddings where all some people do is drink to excess. Obviously people could and indeed did go through to the bar and get a drink to take back with them but having to make a conscious effort meant most people only had a couple of alcoholic drinks at most.

ellay864

At ours we'll be serving some kind of 'welcome' drink and there will be a limited amount of free wine during the meal (plus bubbly of course) but then the bar won't be free after that. For guests coming to evening only we've enclosed tokens for a free drink - the tokens are actually business cards on which we've said we'd like people to enjoy a celebratory drink and to exchange the token at the bar for a pint, single spirit (plus mixer), glass of wine or soft drink. We just can't run to a free bar - to do free drinks we'd have had to invite less guests. I wouldn't expect free drinks at a wedding and can only think of one or two I've been to that did have that

swimsink

I don't think you would be tight not to have a free bar at all, putting a sum of money behind the bar in itself is very generous. But paying for everybodies drinks all night?

Especially if - and i assume you are - having a sit down meal or buffet. I mean, I have no idea how big your guest list is but can any normal person really afford to pay for all of theirs and their other halfs friends and family to have a meal and get them all absolutely blotto'ed?

purple.sarah

We're just doing welcome drinks then a cash bar. We can't afford a free bar, it's so far down our list of priorities and we don't want people showing up for the free drinks or throwing up by the end of the night. I think buying them a drink is a nice gesture, you don't need to buy them drinks all night!

If your OH is set on a free bar and it's something you can afford it's totally reasonable to restrict the drinks, maybe by having beer and wine but not hard spirits or only putting a certain amount of money behind the bar rather than being surprised with the tab afterwards. It's generous to do any free drinks, not tight to restrict them!

joho

Thank you for all your responses. We are providing champagne after the ceremony and then there is wine included with the meal. We are not providing champagne for toasts, but will include for people to order their own choice of drink for this, or have the wine.

It's the bar after the dinner thats the issue. It will be late by the time we get there (11PM onwards) and I would imagine people will start flagging and leaving. We are having 39 guests, so not a huge number.

BUT, and I bet this changes peoples decisions about the free bar, we are getting married in Lindos, Rhodes! So our guests have travelled a long way and spent a lot of money on our behalf! So I'm okay with a free-ish bar.

I think we'll probably put €Xs behind the bar, restrict it to regular beers, single measures, non-premium spirits, no cocktails and, that way, it should be fair on the lighter drinkers and last a little while longer. Then if (when?) the tab runs out people buy their own. One or two of his workmates, who are attending, are heavy drinkers, while others will probably want coffee or soft drinks because they hardly drink at all!

Poet123 - it is definitely not the norm in our circle. What IS the norm is for my OH to be overly generous at times. He always ends up buying more rounds than anyone else, he will buy ANYONE a drink no matter who they are or how long he has known them (e.g. complete strangers that he has just got chatting to), will buy people drinks when they don't want one, buys large drinks/doubles when they ask for small/singles etc. I think he thinks people will like him more because he is generous, when really some just take advantage. I can get very annoyed about this topic but, then, his generosity is one of the reasons I love him!

RainbowDrops

Ah, well I do see your OHs point now.
I think putting money behind the bar is best in that case.

Also, I'm a little confused that you're thinking of giving a free bar, but not something sparking for the toasts.
You can get a nice cava rather than champagne. Toasting with a G&T or a beer just isn't the same IMO....

joho

RainbowDrops wrote: »

Ah, well I do see your OHs point now.
I think putting money behind the bar is best in that case.

Also, I'm a little confused that you're thinking of giving a free bar, but not something sparking for the toasts.
You can get a nice cava rather than champagne. Toasting with a G&T or a beer just isn't the same IMO....

Hmm, yes, good point. I will ponder on it. Maybe we'll offer the choice of champagne/sparkly stuff or their own choice of drink. Cover all bases then!

adonis

One other issue with a free bar is that some venues, even the upmarket ones can boost their profits by ringing up extra drinks when serving customers.

corbyboy

A totally free bar will be a mistake, no doubt. If you have no restrictions then your bill will run into thousands.

It will be pretty galling to see all those unfinished drinks that you have had to pay for that people only ordered because they were free.

Also, it's not a good idea to encourage people to drink excessively at your wedding. Once a few people get hammered then your reception could go downhill very rapidly.

kacy1988

we'll be putting a bottles of wine & jugs of water / squash on each table
everything else the guests will have to buy themselves from the bar i'm afraid!

i think if your OH really wants to then you should put say £500 - £1000 (depending on numbers) behind the bar and once it's gone it's gone.
it's a nice gesture but you wont wake up to a £2k bill in the morning