Free bar restrictions - right or wrong?

Torry_Quine

I have never been to a wedding with a free bar and wouldn't expect one.

poet123

I think it is an outdated concept. Weddings are expensive enough today without a free bar, which will definitely be exploited by some. Do you really want to start your married life rowing over why his cousins were on beer with whiskey chasers when they normally hide in the loo when it is their round?

I really don't know anyone who expects free drinks all night, and if they do you can bet if they were paying it wouldn't be happening.

Is it the norm in your circle? Is that why your OH is so set on it?

If you feel you want to make a gesture put a bottle of wine per couple on the tables or serve Sangria in jugs or have a welcome glass of Champagne.

PinkPrincess83

Oh what a toughy.

I would never expect a free bar and have never been to a wedding where there is one, and I fully understand your reasons for needing to set restrictions, but you may get people who take advantage and drink and drink cos its free, but then your expecting people who may only have one or two to pay for their drinks as they dont drink what youve included, although throughout the night they could cost you a lot less than the heavy wine or beer drinkers.

Your definately not a tightwad as its such a generous thing to do and you do need restrictions, but could you maybe get a list of bar prices andlook at the prices and then maybe say anything over x amount and you wont pay (or guests pay the difference), some ciders and large glasses of wine could cost more than say a vodka and mixer.

TheSeventh

Maybe you could do a deal with the bar where you give them a pre-payment, and they take X-percent off all the drinks?

People will still be paying something, which might encourage them to be moderate, but you've put some money into reducing costs for your guests. SOrta halfway toward a free bar.

Other than that - yeah, drinks tokens to the value of £x might be a good way forward. Or just a card with squares: every unit of alcohol (or pound or whatever measure you want to use) that they order gets a stamp on the card, until the card is full, then they have to pay.

kmmr

I can tell you in Australia it would be a complete shock if there wasn't a free bar. Not saying you should, but just giving a different cultural approach! Although it seems in Oz we price things a bit differently. Normally venues offer a food and drinks package, which includes a range of drinks, but that doesn't seem to be the way things are priced here, which I suppose reflects the different approach.

The first UK wedding I went to I was shocked to pay for drinks. But I have realised since it is perfectly normal.

As a result we are going to have free wine and beer (or some such combination) after dinner. I am also conscious that evening guests won't get any free drinks if we don't have some kind of open bar after dinner.

But, I must say, that if I had to cover the costs of everyone's individual choice, I wouldn't do it. People do really take the P if they are given the chance. I see it at work events, people buy whatever drink, then put it down, can't remember where it is - or just decide they want something else and just order another one. I think Aussie guests would be worse at this, as they assume it would be a set price per person, not per drink. Part of them would be thinking 'well, I should get the best value for the bride and groom for the set price they have paid'!

codemonkey

Definitely put restrictions in. H2B used to work behind the bar at a hotel and where there was a free bar people would be ordering the really expensive cognacs and whiskies - some of the rarer ones are over £100.

There's no way I'd have an unrestricted free bar because we can't afford it, and our venue serve a £200 cocktail. Can you imagine if just 5 people ordered that??! _pale_

I don't think people expect it. I've never been to a wedding with a free bar, except my sister's and that was only because she had her reception in my parents house and there were about 10 people there.

Owain_Moneysaver

If you can't do tokens, have a table at the entrance where people can get a pre-dispensed half/pint or house wine or fruit juice; this gives everyone a fair chance of getting a free drink and speeds up service. A kitty will get exploited by the fastest and the greedy.

Put a bottle of sparkly per table for toasts, jugs of water/squash, and everything else is cash bar or hipflasks.

roxydogbert

Hi - I haven't been to a wedding with a free bar. I don't think you need to do it.

For guests arriving I've usually seen a Welcome glass of champagne or OJ. Then, at the wedding breakfast, a bottle of red and white wine on the table (perhaps with a few top-ups of wine later, but I've usually just seen 1 x red, 1 x white wine on tables). Then you usually have a glass of champagne for the toast.

I think that's all that is expected from guests at a wedding. I don't think you are being a tight-wad for not wanting a free bar. You could perhaps put a set amount of money behind the bar, then when that runs out, everyone pays themselves.

Hope this helps.

Hope your Big Day goes well

RdB x

vodkashot

I think it depends. I have been to weddings where you've had to buy your own drinks but the majority have had a free bar. I wouldn't dream of not having a free bar for my wedding. In the same way I would not invite people home and expect them to bring their own drinks so I would not invite people to my wedding and expect them to buy their own.

But if you are in a venue where they serve pub prices then any bar can be really expensive so I would definitely do a tab. I think to some extent if you are thinking of a free bar and you are planning a wedding then you should consider finding a venue where you can bring your own as it keeps the price down or try and negotiate that with the venue.

In our culture not having a free bar would be a shock and we have weddings on a huge scale, mine is 300. I have rarely found that people take advantage of it because a free bar is the norm and not a novelty. Personally I expect a free bar. I go to about 3 or 4 weddings a year and I think I've only been to 2 where it's not been.When I've had to pay it's been a bit of a shock.For one of them the groom's father went round to every person and bought them all a drink.

For the OP I don't think not serving premium drinks is wrong, I think most of the guests would be delighted if there was a free bar of some sort. We are only having one type of beer, whiskey vodka etc, people make do and are generally content.

kmmr

vodkashot wrote: »

I think it depends. I have been to weddings where you've had to buy your own drinks but the majority have had a free bar. I wouldn't dream of not having a free bar for my wedding. In the same way I would not invite people home and expect them to bring their own drinks so I would not invite people to my wedding and expect them to buy their own.

With your username I would expect nothing less!! :beer: